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The Speech is the Thing

Because, after all, what fun is it to lambaste Michael Moore for his Oscar speech without actually quoting it in its entirety? On behalf of our producers Kathleen Glynn and…

Because, after all, what fun is it to lambaste Michael Moore for his Oscar speech without actually quoting it in its entirety?

On behalf of our producers Kathleen Glynn and Michael Donovan from Canada, I’d like to thank the Academy for this.

A nice start, certainly. Standard Oscar acceptance fare.

I have invited my fellow documentary nominees on the stage with us, and we would like to — they’re here in solidarity with me because we like nonfiction.

Has anyone actually interviewed these folks? Did they know in advance what Mr Moore was going to do?

Actually, does it matter? Moore is hardly one to talk about liking non-fiction.

We like nonfiction and we live in fictitious times.

Um, okay.

We live in the time where we have fictitious election results that elects a fictitious president.

Does Moore have any idea how rattling off his “We was robbed!” conspiracy theories (ironic, since he was campaigning for Nader) turns off even anti-war folks who might to jump on his bandwagon? Evidently not.

We live in a time where we have a man sending us to war for fictitious reasons.

You, of course, Mike, have the real reasons.

Whether it’s the fictition of duct tape or fictition of orange alerts we are against this war, Mr. Bush.

“Fictition”? And folks rag on Bush for his malapropisms?

Anyway, Mike, are you asserting that there’s no further danger? No need for homeland security alerts and “helpful hints” of how to deal with possible terrorist actions? Granted, the HS effort has a lot to criticize — but if there were an attack, and the government had done nothing to warn us about it or offer suggestions for preparation, why do I have the feeling that you’d be in the front ranks, Mike, of criticizing Dubya for keeping secrets and not caring about the dangers faced by the little people?

Shame on you, Mr. Bush, shame on you.

What, you thought you were in Parliament? This is an Oscar ceremony, Mike — the least you could have done for us is refuse to accept, or nominated some poor crippled Iraqi child to accept on your behalf, like most of your politically oriented predecessors.

And any time you got the Pope and the Dixie Chicks against you, your time is up.

Really? How many of the Pope’s edicts do you support, Mike? Abortion, homosexuality, birth control — heck, let alone the religious doctrine. Are you a faithful, adherent Catholic, Mike? Are you suggesting that Dubya should convert?

And why should the Dixie Chicks be all that important to Mr Bush? They’re PETA supporters, too — have you eaten a hamburger lately, Mike?

Thank you very much.

Hate to quibble, Mike, but you’re not welcome.

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4 thoughts on “The Speech is the Thing”

  1. What exactly does he think “fictitious” means? How, exactly, can the time in which we live be imaginary? I’m sure that election wasn’t a product of my imagination, any more than the president is.

    “Fictition” would seem to be a backformation. he knows the word “nonfiction,” but not the word “fiction”? Hunh.

    I won’t even bother critiquing anything other than his vocabulary–you did a better job than I could.

  2. Here Here Dave!!! And from what I understand everyone was asked nicely before hand not to make any political or war speeches. Apparently Mikey likes to hear his own voice way too much.

  3. Mike claimed that, as an American, he had a right to speak out.

    Of course, the Academy, as a private institution, is not required to give him a forum for doing so, and can ask for whatever restrictions they want. That’s not censorship (though it may be unwise business sense — or wise, as the case may be).

    But, yes, offering Moore a soap box is clearly way too big of a temptation. Just one more reason why BfC should never have gotten the nod.

    (I wonder how Moore reconciles his win with his statement a week ago that Sony was conspiring to keep people from voting from his film, through shenanigans with release of their candidate for viewing by Academy members. Oh, wait, that’s old conspiracy news — we’ll never hear of it again.)

  4. Personally, I am amused by the MM supporters who insist only a “couple” people were booing and there were more people cheering and he got a standing ovation.

    The camera doesn’t lie. They cheered when he won, like they do for all the winners. A few people stood up and clapped, like they do for most winners. When he started his diatribe, the cheers started dying out and getting decidely less comfortable – the boos were loud, and plentiful. The camera panning around the audience showed no one still standing.

    Frankly, Chris Cooper made more of a statement with his simple “And in light of all the troubles in this world, I wish us all peace” than Moore did with all his ranting.

    Idiot.

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