How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?
Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we’ve got our whole lives ahead of us, and you’re inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?
Border Collie: Just one. And then I’ll replace any wiring that’s not up to code.
Dachshund: You know I can’t reach that stupid lamp!
Rottweiler: Make me.
Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!
German Shepherd: I’ll change it as soon as I’ve led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven’t missed any, and make one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.
Jack Russell Terrier: I’ll just pop it in while I’m bouncing off the walls and furniture.
Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I’m sorry, but I don’t see a light bulb.
Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.
Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there, see it, right there …
Greyhound: It isn’t moving. Who cares?
Australian Shepherd: First, I’ll put all the light bulbs in a little circle …
Poodle: I’ll just blow in the Border Collie’s ear and he’ll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
The Cat: “Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is: how long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?
All of which proves, once again, that while dogs have masters, cats have staff.
You know, I read “dogs” as “blogs.”
Time to go play a game, I think . . .
I got an email on how to give a cat a pill. After wading through about three pages of “1. Wrap cat in towel. 2. Using ruler, roll pill down cat’s throat. 3. Massage cat’s throat. 4. Retrieve cat from curtains. 5. Apply bandage to arm. 6. Drink beer” et cetera, the thing ended:
How to give a dog a pill:
1. Wrap pill in bacon.
2. Throw pill in air.
You know, that’ll work for guys, too.
Well, this one, at least.