There were 217 of the little buggers in my inbox this morning. Yeesh!
Some highlights:
- No need to worry about wrinkles! – Thank goodness, because I was about to buy some expensive skin cream I was told about in this e-mail I got, but if you say there’s no reason to worry about wrinkles, then I won’t! I feel so liberated!
- Get Visibly Larger – Heck, Margie can do that for me already. She just bakes a big batch of cookies and my waistline — wait, what did you think I meant?
- Is your friend sleeping with your boyfriend? – That would be disturbing … on a number of levels.
- Lengthen and Enlarge – Not to be confused with Engulf & Devour.
- What’s your spouse browsing on the web? – This.
- You got jipped on that loan – And you got gypped on your spelling education (not to mention your cultural sensitivity training).
- WOMEN, ARE YOU satisfied with your BREAST? If not then read it!!! – No, wait — let me — hold on, my eyesight’s not what it used to be — let me get closer …
- Wanna be a Bionic lover? – That implies, um, replacing parts that, uh, well, I’d expect a lot more than $6 million in compensation.
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