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Category: Spam

Dear Web Sites I Like

I realize that the need to "monetize" or somehow pay for your interesting and worthwhile content is a critical component of your web world.

That said, when you throw the door open to this kind of craptastic "promoted content," any incremental money earned only comes at the cost of damage to the credibility of anything you choose to say.

In fact, I have been known to not direct traffic to a page or article because of this sort of schlockery.

Lie down with dogs, get up with fleas.

(Dear Web Sites I Despise … pay no attention to the above.)

 

View on Google+

Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam

Ah, comment spam on the blog!  You open up whole new vistas of syntax!

'I became encouraged this web site by simply this relative. I’m not beneficial whether this text is usually composed by means of him or her when nobody else understand these kinds of certain in relation to our issue. That you are excellent! Many thanks!'

I don't think I could write that myself if I tried.

View this post on Google+

Hmmmm … does this sound like a blog spam comment?

'Undeniably believe that which you said. Your favorite reason appeared to be on the net the easiest thing to be aware of. I say to you, I certainly get irked while people think about worries that they just don't know about. You managed to hit the nail upon the top and also defined out the whole thing without having side effect , people could take a signal. Will probably be back to get more. Thanks'

This was commenting on this: http://wist.info/stanton-elizabeth-cady/19498/

Yeah, maybe I won't approve that one.

View this post on Google+

Rachel rejected

We get these calls (or voice messages from them) at least weekly. Or we have.  I'll be tickled if they go away, preferably forever.

"Hello, this is Rachel at cardholder services, calling in reference to your current credit card account. There are no problems currently with your account. It is urgent that you contact us concerning your eligibility for lowering your interest rates. Your eligibility expires shortly, so please consider this your final notice. Please press the number '1' on your phone to talk with a live operator about lowering your interest rate. Or press the number '2' to discontinue further notices. Thank you, and have a great day."

Buh-bye, Rachel!

Reshared post from +Ars Technica

Busted.

Embedded Link

“Hi, this is Rachel from RoboCaller services calling. Press 1 to be scammed.”
FTC shuts down five robocallers, aims to eliminate “Rachel” for good.

Google+: View post on Google+

Why spam exists

It exists because it works.

"But who would possibly respond to such a ridiculous email?" you might well ask..

But the cost of sending email is so cheap, that only getting 1 response for every 12.5 million spam emails sent is enough to turn a tidy profit.

Given that you can probably convince 1 in 12.5 million people to do practically anything, I expect we'll be seeing spammers around for a long time. #ddtb

Reshared post from +Michelle Marie

Success Rate of Spam
via: http://goo.gl/dCjNt

Did you know that spammers get only one response to every 12,5 million emails they send?

But what is even more interesting, yet even with this apparently abysmal response rate, it is enough for them to make a nice profit. The researchers from University of California UC San Diego sent about 469 million junk e-mail messages for the fake pharmacy campaign. The response rate was less than 0.00001%.

However, these conversions would have resulted in revenues of $2,731.88 — a bit over $100 a day for the measurement period, said the researchers.

You make me feel like a natural woman!

I'm distinguished! And a bit sassy!

I get spam …

From: ProfessionalWomen
Subject: You have been chosen as a distinguished women of 2011

NAPW_recognizes women for their achievements in business and YOU_have been carefully selected.

We would like to highlight all of your achievements.

To Accept Your_Invitation Please_Visit_Here.

You keep using that term “carefully selected” … I don’t think it means what you think it means …

Dear Spammer …

  1. The subject line “Your Ex Has Recently Searched For You” isn’t terribly effective, since (a) she has my email address, and (b) I don’t live in terror of her finding me (see (a)).
  2. If she were actually searching for me, I suspect it would not be through a site like “digitalcouponoffers.com”.
  3. So, no, I’m not going to click here for more information.  Sorry. Better luck next time.

Best regards,

*** Me

Unblogged Bits (Tue. 11-Oct-11 1730)

Links (most recent first) that caught my eye, but did not warrant full-blown blog entries ….

  1. Fischer Plays The Victim, Decries Romney’s Rude and Insulting Attack On Him – Amusing — because when Bryan Fischer talks about tacky, impolite and rude language that completely and utterly lacks class, he speaks as an expert.
  2. Protesting in America: admin
  3. Bryan Fischer Pleads Ignorance About His “Poisonous Language” | Right Wing Watch – Sorry, Bryan — playing the victim just doesn’t cut it.
  4. Rep. Buck McKeon: No Defense Bill Unless It Bans Same-Sex Marriages By Military Chaplains | ThinkProgress – Well, next time someone talks about who’s being supportive of the military, we know a person to point at in the negative.
  5. Former Ex-Gay Ministry Leader Comes Out, Recants Previous Teachings | ThinkProgress
  6. Cagle Post » Christian Heaven for Buddhist, Steve Jobs – Some of these (and there are many others on the web) can be seen as simple cultural shorthand, and others as humorous jokes. On the other hand, imagine the reaction in some quarters about a cartoon of a dead Christian showing in a Muslim heaven, or circling around again on the Wheel of Life, or some other non-Christian afterlife setting.
  7. Georgia Considers Replacing Firefighters With Free Prison Laborers | ThinkProgress – Yes, this is an insane idea with all sorts of crazy aspects (e.g., would you welcome fire fighters into your house if you knew some of them were prison inmates?) … but at least IT DOESN’T RAISE TAXES, SO IT’S THE AMERICAN WAY!
  8. Robert Jeffress Has a Lot of Nerve | Religion Dispatches – More on the silliness of defining Who Is a True Christian(TM).
  9. Colorado Supreme Court could take on medical-marijuana appeal – The Denver Post – It seems to me that if it is not criminal to possess legally obtained marijuana for medical purposes, then unless an employer can demonstrate the employee’s performance is impaired, it should not be grounds for firing.
  10. How texting is changing the world [infographic] – Holy Kaw! – Cool.
  11. Futurity.org » Immunity ‘trick’ turns off peanut allergy – Cool!
  12. Eric Cantor Explains the Difference Between the Tea Party and the Occupiers – Short Cantor: “Because the OWS is against Other Americans, while the Tea Party is against THE EVIL GOVERNMENT!!!!!!”
  13. US ties Iran to plot to assassinate Saudi diplomat – The Denver Post – (1) Yikes! (2) How dare another country stage an assassination on US soil?! We’d never — um … (3) Article followed by one comment saying it’s all a Obama hoax to bolster his ratings, and the another saying that the US must immediately declare war on Iran. sigh
  14. The Fox Poll on OWS – And, yes, Internet polls are freaking useless. But this it’s always fun to see something like this.
  15. Why Believe In Keynesian Models? – NYTimes.com – “Because they work.”
  16. A Peek Inside A Christian Right Anti-Gay Strategy Session – If “Marriage is a ‘pre-political’ institution, and therefore not a civil right,” could not the same be said for race (which obviously is “pre-political”) or, for that matter, religion? Or perhaps some would like to argue that racial equality and religious freedom are not civil rights, either.
  17. Before Netscape: the forgotten Web browsers of the early 1990s – I remember using Mosaic. Plus, of course, some of the WWW alternatives, such as Gopher and Veronica. Good times …
  18. Microsoft finds 64 billion fewer spam messages per month after botnet takedowns – Spam delenda est!

Dear Spammer/Phisher …

Your email “YAHOO MSN AWARDS NOTIFICATION” would probably be  marginally more convincing  …

… if you didn’t send it from a Google Gmail account.

Actually, no, it wouldn’t, but it would be a lot less funny.

Best spam of the day

This came through under the subject line: SCAMERS HAVE CONFESSED,THAT THEY STOLE YOUR MONEY (sic).

The Federal Government of Cotonou Benin through provisions in Section 419 of the Criminal Code came up with punitive measures to deter and punish offenders.

The Advance Fee Fraud section deal mainly with cases of advance
fee fraud(commonly called 419) such as obtaining by false pretence through
different fraudulent schemes e.g. contract scam, credit card scam,
inheritance scam, job scam, loan scam, lottery scam, “wash wash” scam (money
washing scam), marriage scam. Immigration scam, counterfeiting and religious
scam. It also investigates cyber crime cases.

This is to officially announce to you that some scam Syndicates were
apprehended in Cotonou Benin few days ago and after several interrogations
and tortures your details were among those mentioned by some of the scam
Syndicates as one of the victims of their operations.

Torture … even scammers who are pretending to fight scammers are doing it.

After proper investigations and research at Western Union Money Transfer and
Money Gram office to know if you have truly sent money to the scam
Syndicates through Western Union Money Transfer or Money Gram, your name was found in Western Union Money Transfer database amongst those that have sent money through Western Union Money Transfer to Nigeria and Cotonou Benin this proves that you have truly been swindled by those unscrupulous persons by sending money to them in the course of getting one fund or the other that is not real.

Right now we are working hand in hand with Western Union and Interpol to
track every fraudsters down, do not respond to their e-mails, letters and
phone calls any longer they are scammers and you should be very careful to
avoid being a victim to fraudsters any longer because they have nothing to
offer you but to rip-off what you have worked hard to earn.

Yes. A word to the wise is sufficient.

In this regard a meeting was held between the Board of Directors of The
Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) and as a consequence of our
investigations it was agreed that the sum of five milion three hundred thousand US Dollars (US$5.3m,should be transferred to you out of the funds  due to you from Federal Government of Nigeria and Benin Republic.

We have deposited your fund at Western Union Money Transfer agent location
EMS Post office Cotonou Benin Republic. We have submitted your details to them so that your fund can be transferred to you,but they recontacted us that the funds are too large to be transfered via western union or money gram,so the only option is to transfer these said 5.3million usd to you ,in form of an INTERNATIONAL ATM CARD,that will still contain the same amount, …

Do you know how long it would take to withdraw “five milion dollars” in $250 increments from the ATM?

… so go ahead and contact the persenell that will help you make sure this ATM CARD gets to you but you are only required to send to her the delivery charges of 150usd (ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTHY UNITED STATES DOLLARS) and after that she will make sure that this CARD reaches you within 24hrs

I’ll tell you what, Benin: you keep the “five milion dollars” and use it to buy a good spell checker, okay?

Contact the PERSONELL through the email address stated
below,inform her about this notification letter and the transfer of your
fund;

CONTACT NAME:SARAH WILSON

Email:( [redacted] )

Remember that you are not the only scam victim ,we have so many scam cases in our office but you are lucky to fall among one of the people that will be getting these compensation funds,so if you feel reluctant to claim it ,we will cancel your name and sign it on the next scam victim waitiing on line to claim  his/her compensation funds.

Yours sincerely,
ISAAC MOHAMED
Assistant Investigation Officer.
The International police Crimes Commission (I.P.U.C)
Rue/056 akpakpa Cotonou Benin Republic

If I cancel my name, will nobody ever, ever send stuff like this to me again?  Because that would be worth “five milion dollars”, too.

Unblogged Bits (Tue. 22-Mar-11 2330)

Links (most recent first) that caught my eye, but did not warrant full-blown blog entries ….

  1. Quote of the Day – I would ask why anyone still cares about anything McCain says, except that he remains a regular on political talk shows and the press.
  2. South Dakota’s odious new anti-abortion law – Thank goodness the GOP stands for Personal Freedom against Intrusive Government!
  3. Shermer Spam Scammers Scam – I want one of those certificates. Maybe it will help me past US passport control.
  4. Smithsonian. Historically Hardcore. | davaidavai.com – Fun. If only it were a real campaign.
  5. BBC News – Academics to ’embrace Wikipedia’ – There’s nothing particularly wrong with Wikipedia that awareness of its weaknesses and strengths can’t deal with. It’s a fabulously useful source of information — so long as you drill down appropriately into the source data.
  6. GeekMom » Open Letter to David E. Kelley, Re: Wonder Woman FAIL
  7. Badass of the Week: Hideaki Akaiwa – Bravo, sir.
  8. Alternatives Have Begun in Bid to Hear from Spirit – NASA Jet Propulsion Laboratory – Awwwww …
  9. Medical marijuana: Donor complaints lead food bank to abandon dispensary pot-for-food drive – Denver News – The Latest Word – Yes, and we can’t accept any roadside help from those Samaritans — I mean, what would Jesus say?!
  10. The Tokyo Joe’s Story – Love my TJ lunch!
  11. Yglesias » Arab Autocrats Think Fighting Gaddafi Will Help Them Maintain Power – “There’s an obvious question as to what, in reality, American policy in the Arab world is. Is this part of a policy of boosting democratic change in the region, or is it part of a policy of bolstering the position of the Persian Gulf dictators who are important clients of American arms manufacturers?”
  12. David Barton’s Anti-Islam Expert Is Disgraced Former FBI Agent – “Apparently, the Muslim Brotherhood is so powerful that it managed to get Guandolo to sleep with the key government witness he was supposed to be protecting in order to discredit him and stop him from exposing their plot to take over the United States.”
  13. The Founding Fathers Had a National Motto: E Pluribus Unum – Yes, but we aren’t interested in the “Many” any more — just the folks who believe in our “God”!
  14. IRD: How Dare Methodists Include Buddhist and Shinto Groups in Japan Memorial Service – Because of you’re not praying to Jesus, YOU’RE EEEEVIIILLLLL!!!!!
  15. CWA: Gay “Bullies” Too Powerful In Government – Then why do you keep opposing anti-bullying legislation? Dolts.
  16. Communication Is Key – Yes!
  17. Cool World Control Panel for budding evil geniuses – Boing Boing – Sweet!

Blatant

This spam starts off pretty standard …

Greetings! We once again try to notify you as our earlier letter was returned undelivered. I hereby attempt to reach you again by this same email address to inform you that you were one of our lucky winners in the 2010 Nokia Promo. Unfortunately we could not reach you before the end of the promo. All winners who we could not reach before the end of the promo, are mandated to contact ALLIED GUARANTEE TRUST BANK in West Africa to claim the winning prize. Therefore, your winning prize of 315,000 Great British Pounds has been deposited in ALLIED GUARANTEE TRUST BANK. The requirements to claim your winning prize is to provide your full bank details and your demurage security keeping fee of 115 Great British Pounds to ALLIED GUARANTEE TRUST BANK with the contact details stated below;

ALLIED GUARANTEE TRUST BANK.
Contact Person: Mr. Ken Jonathan
Email Address: alliedgtbonline@info.al
Telephone: +234-818-227-6596

First off — “West Africa”?

Country code 234 is Nigeria. The .al domain, though, is hosted in Albania. Hmmmmm …

I’ve never seen GBP spelled out as “Great British Pounds,” by the way.

Then, all of a sudden, things get … very blatant. Usually these sorts of scams rope you in first before asking for money. This one includes it as the initial price of admission. Ballsy move! It must be real!

NOTE: We have paid for the Insurance premium and Clearance Certificate Fee whose policy hardcover the impossibility of deducting the demurage security keeping fee from your winning prize. Try to contact the bank with the information above to avoid any further delay and remember to pay them their Demurage security keeping fee of 115 GBP for their immediate action. Payment of the (Demurage Security Fee) should be sent through Western Union to the bank account officer with the following information . Western union is required to accept the payment because is the fastest, safest, and most reliable payment method the bank use in receiving payment from international customers.

Receiver’s Name: Mrs. Elizabeth Baker
Address: Plot 865b Canada Square,Edo State, Nigeria.

 

And back to Nigeria (nice work if you can get it).

“Demurrage” (note the correct spelling, by the way) is a charge for delays in delivery not the fault of the deliverer. In this case, you silly person, you didn’t pick up your prize on time, so they have to charge you for the delay. But then, after you send it via Western Union, you’ll get your GBP 315K right away! Ken and Liz guarantee it!

1. Name of sender.
2. Address of sender.
3. Amount sent.
4. Money Transfer Control Number. (M.T.C.N)
5.Test Question: In God
6.. Answer : We Trust
Regards,
Dr. Authur Collins.
+44-701-115-1094

Nice patriotic/religious “test question/answer” passphrase.  Look for a man in a dark suit with a red carnation in the lapel.

I’m still a bit confused by whom the email is being sent, to whom the money should go, and who Dr. “Author” Collins is. He has a UK phone number, though. A search on that gives more on this particular spam scam here.

Tweets from 2010-06-05

  • RT @BPGlobalPR: Words can not express how sorry we are. So we are going to stop apologizing and just give our investors 10 billion dollars. #
  • RT @matociquala, @leahbobet: Is Arizona just trolling at this point? #
  • Dear dirtbag Twitspammer @XxxxNnnnnn: Hey there! I would rather gouge out my eyes than buy into your #FREE MacBook Air! spam. Please die. #
  • K is trying to finish “Half-Blood Prince” so we can watch the movie tonight so she’s caught up for Potter-themed Girl Scout camp tomorrow. #
  • Another sign Kitten is growing up — she can now wear Margie’s hats. Yikes! #
  • RT @stevesilberman Between them, Gingrich and Limbaugh have had 7 marriages. And they want to abolish my one. #
  • After madcap shopping spree at Target, off to teppan dinner at Miyama. #
  • RT @wilw Neil: How long has the chicken been on? Everyone: ummm… Me: Check the timestamp on Paul’s picture! Neil: Nerds FTW! #

Oh, boy! I hope I get what’s coming to me!

spam

Look! In my email!  I get a “PayPal Refund”!  Yippee! I haven’t bought anything with PayPal for a while, but why look a gift horse in the mouth?

The message doesn’t go into much detail.  It just says “PayPal Authorized Refund,” with efficiently terse instructions to “Please download and complete form.”

Then, I guess, I’ll just have to send it back to “paypai.com” (a simple typo on their part, I’m sure).

I just can’t wait to download this mysterious HTML file and see what it gets me!

[Kids — and adults — don’t try this at home. Really.]

Laughably inept or ophidianly menacing?

Kobra, by Jack Kirby (1976)

This morning’s spam message:

from Mr. Kobra ([redacted]@gmail.com
to [my office mail]
date Tue, Feb 17, 2009 at 4:33 AM
subject HI

Hi Sir,
R u free for business meeting

Thanks & Regards
Kobra

Now, ordinarily, this would just seem like some spammer who isn’t even really trying.  I mean, bad English, bad grammar, bad punctuation, nothing like any actual business missive would include.  Obviously a spammer, a goofball, someone not worth worrying about.

But maybe that’s just what he wants me to think!

If I vanish sometime soon, just wanted to let folks know about this.

Variations on a theme

Received by mail today:

I am (Sgt Perry Johnson), an American soldier, serving in the Military
with the army’s 3rd infantry division,we discovered some amount to be
transfer out of iraq ,we seek your sincere co-opration as the business
is risk free.Please respond for further details:

Email scams — they’re not just for the widows of Nigerian government officials any more.

Unblogged Bits for Friday, 30 October 2009

Links (most recent first) that caught my eye, but did not warrant full-blown blog entries ….

Professional SPAM

spam

Somewhere, somehow, my work email had gotten on some “professional IT services” list that is spawning many emails per day from many legitimate purveyors of IT services and info. I’m opting out whenver I can, but it’s like playing IT Whack-a-Mole. I don’t want to flag them as actual spam because these are legit companies, and if I just delete them I’ll continue to get mail from the folks. 

I just wish I knew where my email addy got out into the wild recently so that I could track the person who did it and hit them, hard.

How could I resist?

TO: dave.adams@conglomerate.com, dave.hill@mywork.com, dave.jones@inc.com, dave.smith@company.com
FROM: Roberta@hotmail.com
SUBJECT: I need 2 tell u something

hi

I found your contact info online. My friend thinks you seem really strong.

u should totally msg her on M.S.N. messenger

add her, her name is : paris19smith@hotmail.com
 

 

spam

Oh, yeah, I should so definitely message Paris (what a hot name!) and offer to show off my biceps.

If only I used MSN Messenger. 

I wonder who those other Daves are.

Oh, well.

[No real email addresses were used in this post.]

Well, there’s something you don’t see everyday, Chauncey …

spam

We get spam …

From: Anita Goodluck

Okay, bad sign when your name sounds like a Bond Girl.

Hello My dear one
How are you? i hope all is well with you, i hope you may not know me, and i
don’t know who you are, My Name is Miss Anita goodluck, i am just
broswing now i just saw your Email it seams like some thing touches me
all over my body, i started having some feelings in me which i have
never experience in me before, so i became interested in you, l will
also like to know you the more,and l want you to send an email. so l can give you my picture for you to know whom l am.
 
I believe we can move from here!
I am waiting for your mail to my email address above.
 
(Remeber the distance or colour does not matter but love matters alot in life)
miss Anita

“Mrs. Robinson, are you trying to seduce me?”