“Your papers, please!”

I approached the United automatic check-in kiosk with mild trepidation. Swiped my card and … oh, keen. Frontier at least let me play with seat assignments; United immediately says I have to check with an attendant. I repeat: keen.

Nab one of the folks managing the baggage check-in there. He takes my Drivers License without a boo, punches me in, grimaces … “Sorry, I just need to get something removed from your reservation.” He calls back, and asks for a “GSC [GSE?] Supervisor” about a “No-Fly.”

About five minutes later, an older man with an impressive moustache and goatee comes over, and I’m pointed out to him. He looks at the DL, looks at me, looks at the screen, gets on the phone …

Wait. Wait. Wait. After about another five minutes on hold, he gets through to “Debbie,” who is clearly somewhere else since he introduces himself as “from Denver” to her. “I have an [United] Express not on the List …”

Pause. Pause. He reads off my DL number. Reads off my Date of Birth. Reads off and spells my middle name. Pause. “Thanks.”

He begins punching up my ticket. “Has this happened to you before?” he asks.

I wonder which answer will get me more in trouble, a lie or admitting that I’ve fallen under suspicion earlier. “Um …”

“What you can do to help avoid this in the future is make sure you have your middle name on the reservation. ‘Dave Hill’ is a pretty common name.” Shades of the Sex Offender list …

“Okay, thanks.”

“Oh, and make sure you use your United Frequent Flier number … oh, wait, that was in there already.”

“Okay, I’ll make sure I use my middle name, then.”

So, memo to self: update travel agency profile at work, update info in our browsers for making private reservations. (And, of course, we just made reservations for a flight at the end of August. *Sigh*)