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Co-dependence

They say it’s bad to make your emotional state contingent on another person’s. That’s difficult to avoid, though, when your little four-year-old wakes up way too early (fortunately you’re downstairs…

They say it’s bad to make your emotional state contingent on another person’s. That’s difficult to avoid, though, when your little four-year-old wakes up way too early (fortunately you’re downstairs working) with a cough and a hack and a wheeze, complaining with slow tears about a bad dream, about a head that hurts, about being scared of the dark.

The expedient in you wants her back asleep so you can get back to what you should be doing. The parent in you wants her back asleep because it means she’s not feeling bad.

And when she wakes up twice more, you can’t help but ask her if she wants to come downstairs and curl up on the couch. And when the decongestant kicks in, and she’s feeling a bit better, and she begins to smile and laugh, you can’t help but feel better.

Even if that means your emotional state is, in some fashion, contingent upon hers.

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