Where is the government when we need it!?
Rotation Of Earth Plunges Entire North American Continent Into Darkness
NEW YORK—Millions of eyewitnesses watched in stunned horror Tuesday as light emptied from the sky, plunging the U.S. and neighboring countries into darkness. As the hours progressed, conditions only worsened.
[…] As the phenomenon hit New York, millions of motorists were forced to use their headlights to navigate through the blackness. Highways flooded with commuters who had left work to hurry home to their families. Traffic was bottlenecked for more than two hours in many major metropolitan areas.
Across the country, buses and trains are operating on limited schedules and will cease operation shortly after 12 a.m. EST, leaving hundreds of thousands of commuters in outlying areas effectively stranded in their homes.
In related news, the Bush Administration announced the need for sweeping new homeland security powers “for as long as there is a possibility of this event recurring.”
“You’re either with us, or you’re with the forces of darkness,” said the President.