Some of the darker horses running for President.
Jonathon Albert “The Impaler” Sharkey — 43, Satanist/pagan who is the founder, national chair and commanding general in the 1st Vampyre, Witches, Pagans Party Regiment (2006-present); former U.S. Army soldier; former board member of Hillborough, New Jersey’s County Executive Republican Committee; dark priest/ advisor to the Church of the Followers of Lucifer; founder and national chair of Vampyres, Witches, Pagans Against Impaired Driving (2005-present). As an ordained Satanic dark priest, vows to perform same-sex marriages at White House at least once a month and to only impale criminals and terrorists, not law-abiding American citizens.
Jackson Kirk Grimes — 56, a single pagan with a GED who once portrayed Hitler on “Star Trek,” this director of the United Fascist Union (which promotes the economic theories and political ideologies of Benito Mussolini and Saddam Hussein) and two-time presidential candidate promises to abolish paper money and create a global government if elected.
Yaphet Kotto — 67, Yes, that Yaphet Kotto, the actor best known for playing a no-BS federal agent chasing Robert De Niro in “Midnight Run” and appearing in such films as “Brubaker,” “Alien,” “The Puppet Masters” and “Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare.” The Web site for his exploratory committee lists as its main goal the popularizing of “vibration politics,” which seeks harmony among all men and planets.
Sh’yeah, like anyone would ever take seriously the thought of electing an actor.
(via BoingBoing)
0h, I don’t know, they elected Ronald Reagan didn’t they. We did get Mr. Grimes on the ballot in Maryland and NJ and are pretty sure we can get him on in Penn. where the United Fascist Union started, maybe 0hio too.
Hail Grimes!
Stranger things have happened in American politics — but hopefully they won’t this time.