Luxury Camping? Ha!

These folks know nothing about “luxury camping,” as anyone who has gone on one of our KOA (“Kleerup Organized Activity”) outings can attest.

When 6-year-old Ethan Bondick told his mom and dad he wanted to go fly-fishing in Montana, his well-heeled parents were stumped.

“We looked at each other and said, ‘Oh, god, now what?’ ” said Gigi Bondick, 37, a “reformed” attorney whose husband works as a private-equity partner in Massachusetts.

“We’re just not the camping kind of people. We don’t pitch tents. We don’t cook outdoors. We don’t share a bathroom. It’s just not going to happen. This is a kid who has never flown anything but first class or stayed anywhere other than a Four Seasons.”

After typing “luxury” into a Google search along with “camping” and “Montana,” the couple settled on The Resort at Paws Up, a 37,000-acre getaway in the heart of Big Sky country. It’s a place for affluent travelers who want to enjoy the outdoors but can’t fathom using a smelly outhouse, a place where paying someone to light the campfire is a badge of honor, not the mark of a Boy Scout flunky.

The Bondicks, who live in a sprawling home on the edge of a state park outside Boston and hire a personal chef at home, shelled out $595 a night — plus an additional $110 per person per day for food.

Versus this year’s KOA which had no smell outhouse, plenty of folks willing to light the campfire, faboo food and drink, great company chauffeured wine country tours, water skiing and inner tubing, more faboo food and drink, and cost everyone a bit over $100 each for the long weekend.

Take that “Paws Up”!

It’s a hefty price to sleep in a tent, but the perks include a camp butler to build their fire, a maid to crank up the heated down comforter at nightfall and a cook to whip up bison rib-eye for dinner and French toast topped with huckleberries for breakfast.

I’ll set our dinners — and breakfasts — against theirs any time.