Movie review: “The Green Hornet” (2011)

So the biggest problem with Seth Rogan’s new The Green Hornet is that it just cannot decide what it’s going to be.  Gritty crime drama? Super-hero romp? Tarantinoesque violence escapade? Campy frat  film? Redemption and maturity arc? And, sure, there’s comedy, but within that realm, what kind? Farce? Goofball? Dry? Juvenile? Situational? Absurdist?

The movie tries to be all of the above, and it makes the sum less than its parts.  Where Rogan (who writes and stars) goes for “Britt Reid is a childish wastrel who turns a rebellious romp into something that helps him grow up a bit,” it does fine — but instead we oscillate wildly from wit to fart jokes, from “this is deadly serious” to “this is just stupid” to “Britt’s finally becoming a hero” to “Britt’s a buffoon” way too much and way too inconsistently.

(Margie thinks part of the problem was a late effort to distinguish between Britt Reid and Tony Stark, and maybe that’s so … but regardless, it’s awkwardly done.)

This carries over into the rest of the cast.  The primary antagonist (Christoph Waltz) can’t decide if he’s really a stone killer or a silly supervillain.  There’s some clever play on his vanity, but a lot of stuff comes out of nowhere.  When he’s not being scary, he’s being absurd … and the Joker he ain’t.

Similarly, John Cho’s Kato character never quite gels.  Uber-competent and unflappable martial artist (and mechanic and barrista and pianist and …) one minute, jealous and envious and touchy macho idiot (sometimes with provocation, to be sure) the next.

Only Cameron Diaz comes off well — and that’s because she’s playing the whole thing straight.  As does Edward James Olmos, for that matter, but neither of them actually progress as characters in the film. They’re minor points of sanity against which Rogan (and Cho) can bounce.

The overall result is a movie that entertains in its components, but loses its way by the increasingly violent end.  It’s a case of a film where the trailer has most of the good parts and paints a much more coherent and enjoyable story.

Putting all that aside …

• The Black Beauty rocks.  Sometimes absurdly and deus ex machinistically, but it remains a star of the movie.
• Kato’s fight scenes are lovely to behold, even with all the visual enhancements.
• The 3D wasn’t used gratuitously.  I’m not sure it was essential, but it worked well (until someone decided to go wildly overboard in the end titles, which was okay).
• The music was fine (and they even slipped in the GH theme — with some of the visuals — from the old TV show).

Katherine (at 10-going-on-11) thought it was “awesome,” though she was clutching my hand for much of the second half.  But, honestly, I felt the violence got a bit over the top toward the end, for me, let alone her — not even in terms of blood and guts per se, but when it occurred and how and to whom and by whom.   The dispatching of the main antagonists, in particular, felt inappropriately bloody.

Overall, I’m a bit sorry I saw this in the theater (long series of coincidental conversations that led to it), but I’m more sorry that the movie ended up as it did — the waste of a fine heroic character for a generation and some good talent.  Having seen the comic book adaptation of Kevin Smith’s earlier script for the film … man, I wish they’d gone that route (even with Seth Rogan as the star).

Oh, well.  A night out with wife and daughter is still better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.