(Which would be really ironic if the End of the World (or at least the Rapture) occurs on Saturday.)
So, yes, the Consortium (Extended Edition) is off to Italy for a few weeks, in case you hadn’t noticed the various tweets and other references to the trip. It’s going to be interesting both for the really cool places we’re going to be, and for the collected crewe attending this jaunt abroad.
(I sometimes joke that much of what I know about human dynamics I learned from “I Love Lucy” — from which I know that you should never go into business with friends, and that travel together can bring unexpected stresses, but that you can always resolve things with good swig of Vitameatavegamin or a shared cheese sandwich. Also, mistrust Paris fashions, and grape stomping isn’t nearly as easy as it looks. But I digress.)
This is also the first time I’ve been on an extended vacation someplace where they Don’t Speak the Language. Which does, I confess, worry me a bit (the irony being that the only Italian I know are words that are unlikely to ingratiate me to the people I encounter).
So, in honor of the journey, a few quotations on travel and journeys and Italy.
TOWER: Flight two-zero niner, you’re cleared for take-off.
CAPT. CLARENCE OVEUR: Roger.
ROGER MURDOCK: Huh?
TOWER: L.A. departure frequency one two three point niner.
CAPT. CLARENCE OVEUR: Roger.
ROGER MURDOCK: Huh?
VICTOR BASTA: Request vector, over.
CAPT. CLARENCE OVEUR: Huh?
TOWER: Flight two-zero niner, cleared for vector three-two-four.
ROGER MURDOCK: We have clearance, Clarence.
CAPT. CLARENCE OVEUR: Roger, Roger. What’s our vector, Victor?
TOWER: Tower Radio, clearance, over.
CAPT. CLARENCE OVEUR: That’s ‘Clarence Oveur’, over.
TOWER: Roger.
ROGER MURDOCK: Huh?
TOWER: Roger, over.
ROGER MURDOCK: What?
CAPT. CLARENCE OVEUR: Huh?
VICTOR BASTA: Who?David Zucker (b. 1947) American writer-director
Airplane (1980)
(with Jim Abrahams, Jerry Zucker)
You are properly exhausted after journey or business work. Worthily divert yourself from boredom and create new sense of perception that makes you completely relaxed & happy, please call on LONGMAN HOTEL where our multifunctional recreations will surely feast your tastes. YOU ARE ADDED WITH FUN …
Relaxation & happiness, a new sense perception a day, brochure for the Longman Hotel, Shanghai, China
Perhaps travel cannot prevent bigotry, but by demonstrating that all peoples cry, laugh, eat, worry, and die, it can introduce the idea that if we try and understand each other, we may even become friends.
Maya Angelou (b. 1928) American poet, memoirist, activist [b. Marguerite Ann Johnson]
Wouldn’t Take Nothing for My Journey Now (1993)
The canal system of this country is being threatened by the spread of a new form of transportation known as ‘railroads.’ … As you may well know, railroad carriages are pulled at the enormous speed of 15 miles per hour by engines, which, in addition to endangering life and limb of passengers, roar and snort their way through the countryside. The Almighty certainly never intended that people should travel at such breakneck speed.
Martin Van Buren (1782-1862) US President, 1837-41
Letter to the President (while Governor of New York) (1829)
Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
The Innocents Abroad, Conclusion (1869)
There ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.
Jerry Seinfeld (b. 1955) American comedian
The world is like a book, and those that never leave home read but one page.
Augustine of Hippo (354-430) Christian church father, philosopher, saint [b. Aurelius Augustinus]
Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not.
Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) American essayist and poet
Essays: First Series, “Art” (1841)
When traveling with someone, take large does of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee.
Helen Hayes (1900-1993) American actress
A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it.
John Steinbeck (1902-1968) American writer
Travels With Charley: In Search of America, Part 1 (1962)
The techniques of opening conversation are universal. I knew long ago and rediscovered that the best way to attract attention, help, and conversation is to be lost. A man who seeing his mother starving to death on a path kicks her in the stomach to clear the way, will cheerfully devote several hours of his time giving wrong directions to a total stranger who claims to be lost.
John Steinbeck (1902-1968) American writer
Travels with Charley: In Search of America, Part 1 (1962)
A man who has not been in Italy is always conscious of an inferiority.
Dr. Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English writer, lexicographer, critic
Comment (11 Apr 1776)
In J. Boswell, The Life of Samuel Johnson (1791)