In case one of those Ninety Day Bible-reading programs is too long for you: The Stories of the Bible in TL;DR form: http://www.reddit.com/r/Christianity/comments/2mpv2r/the_stories_of_the_bible_in_tldr_form/
GENESIS
God: All right, you two, don't do the one thing. Other than that, have fun.
Adam & Eve: Okay.
Satan: You should do the thing.
Adam & Eve: Okay.
God: What happened!?
Adam & Eve: We did the thing.
God: Guys.
(For those who aren't hep with the crazy slang of the Net young'uns these days, "TL;DR" is short for "Too Long; Didn't Read")
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Also have you noticed religious people eat more apples than snakes.
if only this God they speak of had known reverse psychology, life would be much more peaceful and less snakes :).
Shared to my (Christian) wife’s Facebook.
+Dave Hill, still too long. Here's my summary of the entire Bible.
God: Yes.
People: No.
God: Wait…I'm back!