And as Father/Daughter Movie Week draws to a close, we end up with a movie that so many people told me was (a) cool to see, but (b) kind of a disaster, plot-wise. And so many people were right.
Full review: http://letterboxd.com/three_star_dave/film/batman-v-superman-dawn-of-justice/
2.5 stars out of 5.
And, now, my live-note-taking:
—
Bat-origin again!
So it's a Zorro showing, but the marquis is all about Excalibur coming next week? What sort of theater does that? Though it does establish the date of the Waynes' death as 1981.
Very pretty. Even the spray of CGI pearls from Martha Wayne's neck.
It's all a nice retelling until we get … Bat-levitation? Really? Or is that a dream?
It's like 9/11 all over again.
Nobody is evacuating their buildings? Really?
Okay, there's a good reason for Bruce to have a mad-on. Assuming that's what we need to be doing here.
So dude is obviously not an archaeologist, given he just bashes that thing with a hammer.
Camera guy really uses … a real film camera?
Was that a throw-away Jimmy Olsen? [Apparently, yes.]
Wow. Somber is turned up to 11 on this film. Even with Clark/Lois bathtub nookie.
Crazy, brutal Batman is crazy and brutal.
So is the idea that … we're not rooting for anyone? Because super-heroes are too dangerous to root for?
Young, crazy genius Lex plays stereotypical young, crazy genius.
People fear Superman! People fear Batman! But nobody fears Lex! Yet!
Oh, so Lex has parallels with Bruce? Orphan boys who inherited riches?
Bruce has bad, bad dreams.
Why is Bruce glowering at his bat-suit?
Because of course Lex would have his server room across the hall from the kitchen. And isn't locked. Or guarded. But then sexy-dressed Luthor functionary (Mercy!) just leaves Bruce … in the server room?
All that said, nice media montage debating about Superman. Because there would be.
Wonder Woman is playing an interesting role. Also, wearing an interesting dress.
Dream sequences need to be short. Otehrwise they seem too coherent.
Parademons?
And still this dream is going on.
Yes it's creeeeeeeepy. But …
"The White Portuguese is a ship." I'll bet a Google search could have told you that.
So the soooper-seeekrit cargo is … in a "LexCorp" crate?
Who actually carries a shoulder-launched missile in the back of the truck to shoot at hypothetical super-vehicles following after rolling up the back door of the truck?
Super-obsessive Batman is super-obsessive.
Because tracers always have a red blinky light on them (on TV and in movies).
Batman breaks into LexCorp and blows everything up? Way to be unsubtle, Bruce.
Superman's "farmer's dream" speech feels very artificial. Gloomy, guilt-ridden Superman is gloomy and guilt-ridden.
And only now does Luthor actually finish his prep to get into the Kryptonian ship? And then learns everything in the cosmos. And then gets the ship to use technology for stuff that it's apparently not allowed to do but apparently it still can.
Getting tired of dream sequences. Especialy unannounced ones.
Metahuman file footage of Wonder Woman is … okay, I'll admit, that was fun.
So Lex designed the logos for the other Justice Leaguers?
So why have amazingly powerful Bat-armor … that has your mouth, etc., exposed?
Lex Luthor channels the Joker. Or maybe the Riddler.
Steely-willed Lois doesn't bother to mention to Superman that Luthor is behind everything with a long-game conspiracy. No, she just kisses him and lets him fly away to his doom.
But that goes right along with Superman then not telling Lois about the blackmail effort. Neener neener neener.
(Gotham and Metropolis right across the river/bay from each other? Really?)
Superman goes from "You have to help me" to kicking Batman's butt around the building awfully, awfully fast.
The Bat Armor fight scenes look really … not good. Bad CG compositing or something.
(I'm not sure Kryptonite poisoning works that way.)
So, Batman expected the battle with Superman to end up where it was, so that's where he left the Kryptonite spear?
And … it all hinges on … both of them having Moms named Martha? And that's enough to cause Insanely Angry and Vengeful Bruce to back down? Really? And to throw away the spear? And now they're buddies?
And does Kryptonite glow only around Kryptonians? Or, no, but it sure isn't glowing when Lois picks it up.
Yes! We must use our stealth to free the captive Martha! Batman is always stealthy, a creature of the night! Except for all the Batmobilejet and bursting through windows thing.
Batman fights endless mooks. Again. And does so in a nice R-rated violent way. Again. So why wouldn't this be a "less is more" kind of a moment?
So … he does seem to be killing people.
By the way, exploding fires stuff aren't directional. The flash of the blast in the air would kill Martha and Bruce both.
Look, it's Doomsday the Cave Troll.
("With a cleft chin. Like everyone else in this movie," quoth the daughter.)
The CG of Doomsday is … not good.
ICBMs don't work that way, either. The don't follow a target. They don't detonate on impact.
EMP?
Yes, of course, getting the horrifying monster to chase you back to a populated city is just what we want to do.
How do eye beams — which presumably follow vision — ever miss? If you're looking at it, you should be hitting it.
Hope there were no night watchmen in that refinery you just blew up.
And … suddenly we have … banter?
Yes, if you dive under the water, Lois, the falling debris can't hurt you.
Lots of yelly yelly yelly fighting. Though the super-duper-mega-punching stuff was pretty cool.
With all the ambient noise, I don't believe Supes heard Lois.
While pushing the spear through Doomsday looks dramatic, doesn't that take the Kryptonite spearhead out of him?
The Death of Superman.
Why don't I hear any sirens in the distance? Why no helicopters or scrambled jets?
Bald Lex. Nice.
One presumes no embalming was done.
And. Of course. A ring.
One of these coffins is, I presume, empty.
Bagpipes. Always bagpipes.
Bruce sure seems a lot more mellow now. So does all of humanity mourning Superman.
Batman's entrance into the prison seems kind of … weirdly dreamlike, with the officials opening the door disappearing. Was it a dream? We assume not, since there was a bat-shaped scar on the wall when all was said and done.
And we end with a coffin. How fitting.
Watched it recently and would only give it 1 and a half out of 5 and THAT'S being generous.
The changes to Batman were so frustrating in this movie. He kills people, and also supposedly the greatest detective on the planet can't figure out that Superman didn't mean to blow up all those buildings and so he becomes a hate-filled loony.
I continue to be okay with not seeing this. But thanks for the review, which helped inform that opinion. 🙂
Any more, if it's a DC comic movie or X-Men, it is a safe bet that it can be skipped.
+Bob 1 The visuals are (usually) cool enough, and the actors do what's asked of them well enough, I was willing to be generous. After a night on it, I'd probably drop it down to a 2/5, though.
+Dave Hill I wasn't keen on Affleck as Batman. He flopped as Flash so I don't know why they chose him.
+Ryan Beck This Batman is a lot more informed by Miller's "Dark Knight Returns" than anything else. Also, presumably, suffering from having been hit on the head too many times, thus his quickness to be fooled.
On the other hand, Superman was whiny, quick to anger, angsty, quick to be manipulated as well, pouty, and only rarely someone to admire, let alone treat as a godling.
Zack Snyder just doesn't like / believe in heroes. Which works fine for something like Watchmen, or even (theoretically) Suicide Squad, but seems an odd choice for WB/DC to hand their signature heroes over to.
+Bill Garrett There are elements worth watching. You can probably find a lot of them on YouTube. Any of the scenes with Gal Gadot on screen as Wonder Woman are fun (even if she's stabby-stabby Wonder Woman). Some of the (overused) dream imagery was interesting. The individual fight sequences tended to be too long, but decently conveyed the power levels represented. The street-side view of Man of Steel's climactic battle was well executed.
But for all the individual parts had their moments, the story as a whole, both per se and as a movie about Superman and/or Batman, stank on ice.
+Stan Pedzick I figured that, sooner or later, I would watch this. Given the various options, doing it with +Kay Hill so we could mutually snark about it seemed the best option.
+Bob 1 I thought he did a fine job as a hot-headed, PTSD-suffering, slightly over-the-hill Batman. Which is what the script called for.
+Dave Hill part of the reason for not wanting to watch it is that I'd rather go into the Wonder Woman movie fresh. I love me some good effects (Snyder's "Sucker Punch" is on my shelves and I consider that a good investment for what it is). I'm just hoping to not be dragged down by memories of the last bad movie she was in. 🙂
Daredevil (which I think Bob meant rather than the Flash) had its own problems, mostly that they hadn't figured out the Marvel formula yet (put great actors in front of a camera and let them enjoy themselves). But DC will probably always have difficulty in this space, thanks to The Problem: http://comicsalliance.com/dc-comics-marvel-golden-age-silver-age-comics-history/
http://comicsalliance.com/dc-comics-marvel-golden-age-silver-age-comics-history/
+Dave Hill your synopsis was more entertaining than the movie.
I liked it, bought the extended version, fills in many missing plot lines. Wonder Woman seemed out of place and too much CGI.
Yeah, the origin storyline was boring. Also, the battle scenes at the end were cheesy. But, I will say, the DC universe and Wonder Woman were great. I like the characters, but the screenplay was bad. Hopefully next film is better.
+Bob Adragna Unfortunately, only the "normal" version was available to me for streaming.
Wonder Woman was not an organic part of the film; she could be excised, and it would have little impact on the plot. That said, I enjoyed her more than the other two combined.
+Scott Yoast The origin story was terribly, terribly unnecessary. Everyone knows Batman's origin. In stone age tribes on Borneo they tell about Batman's origin. It's so super-saturated the culture that it's precipitating out all over the place …
There was only one reason for the origin — to remind everyone about the Bat-Mom's name. And that was handled by the crypt just fine.
(Also — why did Supes say "Save … Martha"? To Batman. Who doesn't know Clark's adopted Mom, let alone her hame. Whom he never calls Martha, anyway. I mean — yeesh.)
I feel so much better having spotted most of the "sins" that the Everything Wrong review did.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5tSpgU96WY
+Bob 1 Wasn't he Daredevil? Didn't know Affleck was flash. But I liked him as batman
+Scott Yoast Yes, he was Daredevil, not Flash.