From this weeks Top5 Little Fivers Comics edition:
9. He won’t perform rescues during Final Four weekend.
8. He can’t get into his secret HQ because his roommate is in there with a hot date.
7. All evidence points to his archenemy running a tequila bar in Cancun. Said evidence is discovered the weekend before Spring Break starts, just like last year.
6. She spends all week writing lame Top5 College entries, then has to pull a desperate all-nighter to build her superweapon.
5. Instead of feeding you to his mutant sharks, he’s making you write term papers.
4. He pulls an all-nighter cramming for his crossover battle.
3. “Avengers Assemble? Dude, it’s only 10 AM! I only have afternoon Assemblies this semester!”
2. He can’t team up with you because he still has a sidekick back home.
and the Number 1 Way to Tell If a Superhero/Supervillain is a College Student…
1. He picks fights with lame villains, aiming at the easy credits.
Copyright 2005 by Chris White. Selected from 47 submissions from 22 contributors: Marcelo Rinesi (1, 6), Bernard Donohue (2, 5), Dave Hill (3), Mark David (4), Douglas Ward (7), Marc Berard (8), Chuck Burke (9), Dave Goudsward, Moderator.
Other submissions of mine that didn’t make the cut:
A. “Only a paternalistic tool of the our corrupt capitalistic society like you, Captain Testosterone, would not recognize that my spandex bikini is actually a symbol of my liberation from outmoded patriarchal restrictions on womyn’s body freedom!”
B. “Dude, I can’t do anything with this. I only took Antimatter Planet-Cruncher Bomb Defusing for Jocks.”
C. “Tremble before the mind-bending punch of Captain Everclear!”
Thank you, thank you. I’ll be here all week …