“Because it feels so good when I stop”

So, a few days afterwards …

Life goes on. Sing o-bla-di-bla-da.

Actually, for me, it’s been such a perfect storm of … well, multiple storms … that I keep finding myself forgetting who’s miffed at who over what. Some CoX-related, some not, and some spinning off of work-related issues.

For me, the Breaking of the Alliance (let’s make it sound exciting) isn’t nearly as traumatic as the Big January Brouhaha. Part of that is because I am slowly winding down on CoX. Oh, yeah, I still play it, and don’t plan on canceling my subscription any time soon. But it’s not a “I have to rush home and get on and hope the kid doesn’t drown in the bathtub and stay up way too late” 7-day-a-week obsession any more. If I decide to take a break and read, or watch a movie, I can do that
and not feel like I’m “falling behind,” or “missing out,” or “letting people counting on seeing me there down.” It’s a moderately serious hobby, not an obsession.

And, also unlike January, I don’t feel the need to Fix Everything. Some people did some crappy stuff, other people did some sort of crappy stuff, most folks are going somewhere else, and the people left behind are, frankly, mostly the people I’ve been having the most fun with anyway. Heck, if it were just Margie and me, it would still be good.

Or, put another way, most of the folks who have left are people who, while I miss some of them saying howdy on CC, I’m not going to cry into my pillow over. Acquaintances, mostly. And a few I’m more than happy to be quit of.

As for personal rancor … there’s a bit of it. Most of it is impersonal — folks who chatted behind backs about me and mine, mostly revealing more truth about themselves than about us. Some of it is more personal — but, even there, it’s not too difficult to let go. I do resent the people who brought it all crashing down, whether for good reasons or nasty reasons. But not so much that I have to hunt them down, or rant and rave and wail and gnash my teeth over them here, at least right
this moment.

And if I encounter some of those who’ve departed in a train station? Even assuming I can keep straight Who was Which? I’ll probably at least wave. If I get a tell from them, I’ll probably reply. Heck, if I get asked for assistance … I may very well give it. That’s what heroes do, after all, isn’t it?

Life’s too short. And, paradoxically, it does go on.