Mr. Kiss-Kiss Bang-Bang

Via Doyce, from the Daily Grind a way to frame to your relationships with MMOs the way you frame your … “real” relationships:

I’m sure you’ve heard of the classic “marry/kiss/kill” ranking game (or some not-so-PG version thereof) designed to rank your interest in a trio of human beings. So how about turning that upon MMOs today?

Which games would you marry, would you kiss, and would you kill? By which, I mean:

1. Marry: You’re in it for the long haul with this title, admiring the devs’ past and present efforts, and are confident that the future will hold great things. You plus this game equals “happily ever after.”
2. Kiss: You’re interested — or currently involved — with a brief fling with this game, but you’re pretty sure that it’s not going to last. This is a title best left to brief flirtations versus long-term relationships.
3. Kill: You are done with this MMO — or never wanted to get involved with it in the first place. You abhor the studio’s practices and products, and wouldn’t mind seeing the game thrown into the sun. Metaphorically, of course.

Actually, kind of an objectionable way of framing it, but let’s see if I can tweak it a bit:

Marry:

• City of Heroes:  A first love, and still a best love.  She’s comfortable, pleasant, mature, fun to be with, a great sense of humor, still has plenty to explore … and she eve now manages some new surprises and unexpected presents now and again. My friends know her, which is nice.  There have been times we separated, though I always come back.  Lot of people think she’s over the hill, but I’m quite happy with her.

Kiss:

• Lord of the Rings Online:  Old, kind of crazy girlfriend I remember fondly and still occasionally socialize with. Things just never seemed to be going quite the way I was hoping, though, but I’m very glad she’s found other relationships.  Still occasionally think about another brief fling, since she’s free now, but it hasn’t happened yet.
• Wizards 101:  I’m happy enough chatting with her while the kids are capering on the playground equipment. We were never close, but she always seemed good with children.

Kill Don’t Return Phone Calls From:

• World of Warcraft: We went on a first date, and I carefully thereafter blocked her on my phone. Never did see what people saw in her.
• Champions Online: She was bright and shiny and promised so much but gave back so little.  We had some fun times, but ultimately she was never someone I could settle down with.
• DC Universe Online:  Another try at rekindling an old relationship, but it was just too much of the same old grind.  I keep thinking I might give her a call some day, have some coffee, no strings attached, but I can never quite work up the interest.
• Star Trek Online:  Met her at the con, seemed to share may of the same geeky interests as me, but eventually it seemed like that was all she was about.  The repeated conversations grew boring. I still play some of the music she lent me, sometimes.

(Maybe I need to stay away from girls named “Online” … it ever seems to end well.)

Ogle from Across the Room:

• Star Wars: The Old Republic:  She’s hot, she’s new to the scene, she’s hot, she’s got everyone talking.  But she looks like someone who could take over my whole life, and I’m just not ready for that now.
• EvE:  She’s mysterious, intriguing, and into some wild and different stuff.  I know folks who go on and on about how cool she is. Rumor has it she’s a tiger in the sack, but a very demanding mistress. Staying way away from her.

Man, gaming relationships are complicated …