Now here’s a plan I can get behind:
FBI TO ISSUE 5-DAY TERROR FORECASTS
Recognizable Format Should Make It Easier for Americans to Organize Week
Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) — Abandoning the last-minute, panic-inducing warning system it has used until now, the FBI today said it will begin issuing regular, five-day terror forecasts. Today’s outlook: light, scattered terrorism early, tapering off by noon. Tomorrow: Clear, and seasonably dangerous.
