In response to HarperCollins airbrushing the cigarette out of the photo of illustrator Clement Hurd on the back of the popular children’s book, Goodnight Moon, here are some suggestions of further pedagogically and healthfully correct revisions to this classic:
D. How long has this bowl full of mush been sitting here? A single drop of sour milk contains more than 50 million potentially fatal bacteria. At the very least Bunny is in danger of contracting irritable bowel syndrome. Not to mention mush is low in fiber. Suggested change: Digitally remove.
E. Balloons cause more choking deaths among 3- to 6-year-olds than any other toy. Suggested change: Digitally remove.
F. Given proximity and brightness of stars and moon, it’s apparent that Bunny’s room is in a high rise. Both windows lack either locks or any type of window guard or restraining device. Suggested change: To avoid the appearance of encouraging children to peer out of unsafe windows, and thus tumble to their deaths, digitally remove windows. Bunny can easily bid goodnight to a moon painted on the wall with nontoxic, lead-free paint.
Oh, my.