Thank God it wasn’t Mike Wallace

Mike Wallace used to be infamous for “ambush interviews” on 60 Minutes — spotting the miscreant of the week in the parking lot and approaching him then and there to ask hard-hitting questions, things like that.

I’ve always thought I’d probably do well under such circumstances. I have, I like to think, a pretty quick wit, I speak well, etc.

So I’m walking at lunch, over by the Barnes & Noble, and I am hailed by a couple of nice young men with a video camera. And they ask very politely if I’d like to answer a few questions on camera for a TV show. They showed me the questions, and they had to do with the Ten Commandments and with Pornography.

Now, I’m initially thinking, “Run! Run now!” The questions were clearly (if not inappropriately) directed in a particular direction. My answers were not likely to be what they wanted, which meant either it would be confrontational or worthless.

But there was a bit of ego involved. And there was also a sense that, if the only people they interviewed were folks who bought into their agenda — that wouldn’t be right, either.

So … “Sure.”

Now, they showed me the questions. So there were no ambush issues. But I feel, in retrospect, I didn’t do a very good job of it. Wasn’t prepped and clear and ready to speak. I wasn’t inarticulate, by any means, but I was not as good as I know I could have been (and certainly not as good as if I was writing about it). I spoke too quickly, my voice was too strained, I jumped aroudn a bit, etc. I was nervous, actually being on camera, which is a bit surprising, but that didn’t help.

I didn’t say anything wrong — but I didn’t say it as right as I ought to.

The questions (which are for two different shows, evidently):

1. Do you know the Ten Commandments? Can you name them?

   What I said: I think I eventually got most of them. I’m not sure I got taking the Lord’s name in vain, nor honoring my Mother and Father. (No offense, Mom and Dad — it’s not something I have to reference in order to remember to do so. 🙂 )

   What I should have said: Well, I should have had them pretty pat. Certainly I know all of them. Rattling them off as a list isn’t quite as important to me, it seems, but, regardless, if it was sitting in a chair with friends, I think I could do it. On camera, not. *sigh*

2. Do you believe the Ten Commandments should be posted in public buildings?

   What I said: I think only in conjunction with a number of other documents. Shouldn’t be standing on their own. Don’t want to give the impression that the Ten Commandments are the law of the land. Some of them are in the law, but some of them aren’t.

   What I should have said: Take a look at about of several dozen posts I’ve written on the subject, all of which were much more articulate and well-considered. I didn’t want to be an absolutist “no, it should never be posted,” but I may have been too nuanced here for the sound bite that no doubt will be used.

3. Are you concerned about the increase of pornography in our society?

   What I said: No, not really.

   What I should have said: Probably a no-win kind of question. I might argue that pornography has ever been with us, that what is considered pornographic changes over time, that there’s pornography and then there’s pornography. But that would likely have been too nuanced.

4. Have you ever accidentally come across pornography while browsing the web?

   What I said: Yes, a few times.

   What I should have said: “… and I then closed the window and moved on.” There’s a lot of stuff on the internet I find offensive, and not all of it is pornography. Hell, there’s stuff on my pages that some folks are going to consider offensive, and may accidentally stumble across. That’s life, folks.

5. Do you control your children’s access to the Internet? How?

   What I said: Our intent is that the Net, like TV, is a family, public thing. I don’t expect that Katherine, when she’s old enough, is going to have her own computer or TV off in her room, out of sight. We’ll control it the way it should be controlled — by family oversight.

   What I should have said: And I expect that the lessons we teach our daughter on what is right and wrong, what is acceptible and unacceptible, will color her use of the Internet just as it colors her other life choices. There’s no way to absolutely control what she sees or does; all we can do is try and influence the choices she makes in a positive way.

6. Do you know if your child uses MySpace.com?

   What I said: She’s a bit young. When she gets older, I’ll want to know about what space she has online, just like she’ll know mine, and I’ll try to make sure that what she does is safe.

   What I should have said: What I said, only better.

The shows that my sound bites (no doubt edited) will beon will be at 11:00a Thursday and Friday (Ten Commandments and Pornography, respectively) next week on KRMT, ch. 41 UHF (ch. 19 on Comcast cable). I’ll be sure and TiVo it, just to see how badly I came across (and/or how badly my arguments were mangled by editing).

And if I ever see Mike Wallace coming after me, I’m doing to do the Mafioso Magazine Hat thing and run.