Actually, I always thought one of the big challenges at proms was to restrain heterosexuality amongst the participants. But apparently the local grandees at an Alabama high school are a lot more concerned about an even more dire threat than what all those promsters plan to do after the dance: they’re worried about GAY COOTIES!
Tharptown High School near Russellville told Cynthia Stewart she could not attend the prom in March with her girlfriend in tow. On behalf of the 17-year-old junior and her guardian, the ACLU is now demanding that school officials reverse their decision.
Yes, that’s right. One of those lesbians had the audacity to actually want to attend a school event. The nerve!
According to Mat Staver of Liberty Counsel, the case is typical of the ACLU in that “anything that is anti-moral, anti-religious liberty, and anti-freedom, you can always find them on the other side.”
Right! Because clearly the school isn’t the ones who are anti-freedom here! They want the freedom to, um, not let other folks they, ah, don’t like be, er, free. And, of course, you can’t have religious liberty without the ability to discriminate on religious grounds! And we won’t even go into the whole morality thing — there’s a reason that nassssssty ACLU’s name starts with an “A”!
“Here they are again: They’re supporting lesbianism in a school situation where…the school does not want to promote lesbianism,” the attorney explains. “The prom is [designed] for young men and young women to come and celebrate — it’s not [intended] for an exhibition of lesbianism; and the school simply has said [it’s] not going to allow lesbianism in the prom.”
Right! Because it’s okay for young women to come and celebrate … as long as they aren’t doing it with lust in their hearts … for other young women.
And that is, clearly, what this is all about — it’s all a stunt! An exhibition! A direct attempt to undermine all that’s good and pure and holy about our proms! Because the thought that two young women might actually (shudder) love each other, and want to go to a big fancy dance with all their friends … well, that’s just silly.
And thus the title of this post — because clearly if to let two women come as dates is to “promote lesbianism” (“Lesbianism! Lesbianism! Rah! Rah! Rah!”), then clearly the point of proms isn’t just to “come and celebrate” … it’s to come and celebrate and promote straightism! Go forth and multiply, children! It’s Alabama — we don’t mind!
Staver warns against giving in to the ACLU’s demands. “The ACLU would essentially undermine all the core values that made America great,” he remarks, “and they would use these radical agendas of homosexuality, abortion, and other kinds of anti-faith and [anti-]family policies to literally undo America.”
Next up — the ACLU demands the prom have an on-site abortion clinic! A direct attack on those kids who are promoting heterosexuality the way they’re supposed to, and who get themselves in a family (values) way! Because that’s what made America great!
According to the ACLU, the school cancelled the prom altogether in order to avoid having to let the lesbian student bring her date — but then put the dance back on the school calendar.
Staver believes the school has the right to set boundaries on the prom, as it is not intended to shine a spotlight on lesbianism. The school has until November 20 to respond to the ACLU’s demand letter.
Right! The only spotlight that’s shone should be on the King and Queen of the Prom, slow-dancing on the floor before they head off to the King’s pick-up truck for an evening of (straight!) carnal delight. Make sure you have that tux turned in tomorrow by Noon, son!