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The Unbearable GOPness of Being Earl

Earl is the recipient of more GOP awards than you can imagine. Also, he’s a deadbeat.

GOP elephant

Some time in the shadows of the past … the Republican Party decided I was Earl.

I am not, in fact, Earl. But, based on my mobile phone number, receiving texts, they think I am. Oddly enough, they also think I live in the ZIP code where I work.

After a week or two of getting 5-6 texts a day, I set the texting number to spam, so it didn’t show up in my notifications … but it continued to download, and when I upgraded my phone, the spam setting got lost, meaning I was subject to a flood of Earl texts.

GOP elephantLooking at them this time around, they’re actually kind of fascinating. Yes, I have gotten enough Democratic Party texts to realize that this is not just a GOP thang. But on reviewing them in bulk, a few fascinating trends still stand out:

  1. MONEY. The important thing is getting money. Not swaying Earl to particular partisan positions, or rooting for (or against) particular people,  but getting Earl to send the GOP … MONEY.
  2. But, for the most part, that’s not done by appealing to Earl as a recruit in ideological beliefs. It’s done by making Earl part of the team … the few … the chosen … the elite.
  3. There’s lots of urgency, though. Earl must donate right now or else he, and the country, but most importantly he, will lose something important.
  4. There’s a fair amount of shaming that goes on. When Earl doesn’t answer the call, the disappointment, the sadness, the bewildered loss, is palpable.
  5. On the other hand, there’s plenty of carrot to go with the shaming stick. No matter what Earl does (or, in this case, doesn’t) donate, the GOP is always willing to honor him for purported past glory and as someone really important to the cause.

In short, it’s a campaign very little about politics, and very much about tribes, and the shame of not supporting the tribe, or the righteous and acknowledged joy of doing so.

Bear in mind, Earl’s texts have been coming to my phone for months, 4-5 times a day. Unless he’s giving through other paths, he hasn’t been a Loyal, Stalwart Supporter from this firehose. But the algorithm throws out carrots and sticks regardless of what Earl does. Earl is just a cog in the Great Money Machine that is the Republican Base.

Here is the saga of Earl over the course of January, with links and other identifying markers (except the name!) scrubbed.

Ronna McDaniel: Happy New Year from everyone at the Republican National Committee!
May 2023 be a year filled with blessings & good fortune.

One of a passing few messages without a link to send money.

You’ve been given a 30 MINUTE EXTENSION to activate your 5000% IMPACT INCREASE! What are you waiting for?? CLAIM: (link)

Only 30 minutes more to give money? Noooooo!

Guess what Earl?? YOU WON! Accept your Lifetime Achievement Award & Impact Increase NOW >> (link)

Wow! A Lifetime Achievement Award & Impact Increase! I’ve always wanted to make an impact …

In recognition of all you’ve done for the GOP, please accept this GOP Golden Elephant! It even comes with a 300% IMPACT INCREASE: (link)

Oh, no! I lost my 5000% impact increase. Oh, wait, three hours later …

Your 5000% IMPACT INCREASE was just extended. Claim it NOW & help CRUSH our Extended End-of-Year Goal! Act NOW >> (link)


You’ve been granted access to our 2023 Platform Audit before almost ANY OTHER PATRIOT. Make your voice HEARD >> (link)

I guarantee that, after I audit the platform, the party will ask me for money.

Earl, YOU’VE BEEN UPGRADED! To confirm your Republican Diamond Club Status, press HERE >> (link)

Republican Diamond Status! Wow! I wonder what it takes to actually confirm that …?

Guess what Earl?? YOU WON! Accept your Lifetime Achievement Award & Impact Increase NOW >> (link)

Again?

We CRUSHED our End-of-Year fundraising goal! To show our gratitude, we’ve EXTENDED your 5000% IMPACT until MIDNIGHT TONIGHT. ACT: (link)

Hey, I’m back to 5000% Impact!

OFFER EXTENDED! There’s still time to claim your 5000% impact increase & help CRUSH our Extended End-of-Year Goal. Act: (link)


INFORMATION REQUESTED: Your response to the Republican Verification Canvass will represent the ENTIRE (ZIPcode) area! Answer: (link)

I find it interesting that the GOP thinks I (Earl) live in the ZIP code of where my office is. It is, indeed, a fairly high-income and likely Republican population. Which makes it a bit weird that I (Earl) will get to represent the entire ZIP code’s population in myh answers to the Republican Verification Caucus.

Republican leaders have selected YOU for our Lifetime Achievement Award! Your award even comes with a 250% INCREASE! 1 HR to ACCEPT: (link)

Only one hour! Eek!

You’ve been given a 30 MINUTE EXTENSION to activate your 5000% IMPACT INCREASE! What are you waiting for?? CLAIM: (link)

Wait, that’s a bigger impact, but a different time of increase, but it isn’t part of a Lifetime Achievement Award. I feel so confused!

DON’T MISS OUT! We need YOU to take the Presidential Preference Poll & help select our NEXT Republican Presidential nominee. ACT >> (link)

Are you suggesting that the national party actually selects the candidate, not the state primaries and caucuses? Weird!

EXTENDED OFFER: Claim 5000% IMPACT on ALL contributions to prepare the Republican Party for 2023! DEADLINE: MIDNIGHT >> (link)

My 5000% is back! But with a new, even closer deadline!

In recognition of all you’ve done for the GOP, please accept this GOP Golden Elephant! It even comes with a 300% IMPACT INCREASE: (link)

Another GOP Golden Elephant? Or is this the same one? Is it 300% of 5000%, or is this a different offer? It’s all coming too fast (or too slowly, every 3 hours or so).

Your 5000% IMPACT INCREASE was just extended. Claim it NOW & help CRUSH our Extended End-of-Year Goal! Act NOW >> (link)


FINAL REMINDER
Your Republican Advisory Board offer will be REVOKED unless you ACT >> (link)

Oh, no! I will be thrown out of the tribe!

You won! The GOP selected you to receive a 5000%-IMPACT extension! We only give out a few per month! Active for 30 MIN. CLAIM PRIZE: (link)

I feel very special. One of the very few to get that 5000% Impact Extension Prizes!

CHOSEN, Earl. The Republican Party chose you for a personal 5000%-IMPACT Extension. Are you going to claim it? Donate NOW: (link)

At last, an actual call to Donate.

We trust that YOUR opinions represent the ENTIRE (ZIP code) area! Take the 2023 Republican Platform Audit NOW >> (link)

I suspect MY opinions, in fact, do not.

ATTENTION CANDIDATE: Complete the GOP’s Official Survey to join the Republican Advisory Board. DEADLINE: MIDNIGHT TONIGHT >> (link)

The Republican Advisory Board? I will be able to advise Republicans if I just complete an Official Survey? Wow!

You’ve been given a 30 MINUTE EXTENSION to activate your 5000% IMPACT INCREASE! What are you waiting for??
CLAIM: (link)

What, in fact, am I waiting for?

You didn’t respond to our last text. We selected the BEST PATRIOTS for a 50X-IMPACT Extension. You’re the last 1 remaining! Donate: (link)

Oh my God! Of all the BEST PATRIOTS, I am (and I am sure I can believe this) the only one who didn’t respond to that 50X (or 5000%, whichever sound more impressive) impact extension. The shame of it!

Guess what Earl?? YOU WON! Accept your Lifetime Achievement Award & Impact Increase NOW >> (link)

But even if I didn’t give any money from this number for many, many months, I get a Lifetime Achievement ( and all-important Impact Increase) … this feels like a mixed message.

Is this still Earl’s number? You STILL haven’t told us. Who do you want to see in the White House?
Respond HERE>> (link)

Oh, no! They’re onto me!

Membership Pending: Complete the GOP’s Official Survey & secure 1 of the last remaining spots on the Republican Advisory Board. >> (link)

But I’m still being offered one of the last remaining spots!

PLEASE CONFIRM
To accept your GOP Gold Club Membership, press HERE >> (link)


ABBOTT OR BIDEN: Who do YOU think is handling the border crisis better? Tell us HERE >> (link)

Ooooh. Tough call. I’m sure that Earl would be a much more impartial observer of this than me.

You’ve been given a 30 MINUTE EXTENSION to activate your 5000% IMPACT INCREASE! What are you waiting for?? CLAIM: (link)


Take the Congressional Agenda Survey & tell us what Republicans should focus on! 1 HR.
Act NOW >> (link)


You are officially invited to join the Republican Diamond Club. Claim your membership HERE >> (link)

My cup runneth over.

This is your opportunity to provide the GOP with critical insight into YOUR AREA! Complete the 2023 Platform Audit HERE: (link)


Better late than never! Welcome Biden to the border for the FIRST time by signing our Southern Border Postcard! Add your name NOW: (link)


INFORMATION REQUESTED: Your response to the Republican Verification Canvass will represent the ENTIRE (ZIP code) area! Answer NOW: (link)


As a respected conservative leader, we need to hear from YOU. Fill out your Republican Sample Ballot NOW: (link)


Republican leaders have selected YOU for our Lifetime Achievement Award! Your award even comes with a 250% INCREASE! 1 HR to ACCEPT: (link)


Looking to make a HUGE difference for the Republican Party? Join the GOP Gold Club before your invitation EXPIRES: (link)

Audits! Post cards! Sample ballots! Lifetime Achievement Awards! Gold Club invites! Who can possibly deserve all this attention?

Is it time to end Biden’s FAILED POLICIES & secure our southern border? 1 HR to respond. Take the poll NOW >> (link)

I suspect this may not be a broadly representative poll.

Border numbers are in, and the crisis is continuing to spiral out of control! Is it time to END THE BIDEN BORDER CRISIS? Vote NOW >> (link)

Gosh, if the crisis is continuing to spiral out of control … well, yeah, I guess it’s time to end the crisis.

Earl, it’s time to fill out your Republican Sample Ballot. You can do that HERE >> (link)


Guess what Earl?? YOU WON! Accept your Lifetime Achievement Award & Impact Increase NOW >> (link)

I am, in fact, a winner! The GOP texts tell me so!

Are you awake, Earl? We chose YOU to join the Republican Advisory Board, but you FAILED to accept the spot! Hurry & claim: (link)

I feel so ashamed!

Republican leaders have selected YOU for our Lifetime Achievement Award! Your award even comes with a 250% INCREASE! 1 HR to ACCEPT: (link)

Wait, I’m down to only a 250% increase! Oh, no!

We are sending results from the Presidential Preference Poll to GOP leaders in 1 HR. Can I include your name, Earl?
Act: (link)

Wow … the GOP leaders will see my name? Wow!

This is SAD! We selected YOU to complete our 2023 Audit, but you NEVER RESPONDED. Take the Platform Audit NOW >> (link)

I feel so ashamed. The GOP doesn’t love me any more.

Earl, YOU’VE BEEN UPGRADED! To confirm your Republican Diamond Club Status, press HERE >> (link)

The GOP loves me again!

As a respected conservative leader, we need to hear from YOU. Fill out your Republican Sample Ballot NOW: (link)

That feels a bit blunt.

Is something wrong? You were SELECTED to represent the GOP in your area & never responded! Fill out your Republican sample Ballot: (link)

OMG, I was SELECTED but never responded! What madness seized me?

Your Congressional Agenda Survey is ENCLOSED. We need your response in 1 HR! Complete HERE: (link)


Guess what Earl?? YOU WON! Accept your Lifetime Achievement Award & Impact Increase NOW >> (link)

They love me.

IS YOUR PHONE OFF? You were HAND-SELECTED to represent the (ZIP code) area & NEVER RESPONDED! Take the 2023 Platform Audit NOW: (link)

They love me not.

LEVEL UP!
You’ve reached ELITE company by qualifying for the Republican Diamond Club! Join NOW >> (link)

They love me.

We’re sending results from the Presidential Preference Poll to GOP leaders in 1 HR. Can I include your name, Earl?
Act: (link)

Again, my name!

This is SAD! We selected YOU to complete our 2023 Audit, but you NEVER RESPONDED. Take the Platform Audit NOW >> (link)

I am ashamed!

You satisfied all the criteria for an RNC MERIT BADGE! Accept your award, and 200% INCREASE, before it EXPIRES >> (link)


Republican leaders have selected YOU for our Lifetime Achievement Award! Your award even comes with a 250% INCREASE! 1 HR to ACCEPT: (link)


As a respected conservative leader, we need to hear from YOU.
Fill out your Republican Sample Ballot NOW: (link)


Earl, YOU’VE BEEN UPGRADED!
To confirm your Republican Diamond Club Status, Press HERE >> (link)


We chose YOU! As our BEST PATRIOT, we want you to represent your area & take the Congressional Agenda Survey. Take it NOW >> (link)

Ha! Even though I never responded to the 2023 Audit (SAD!), I got a merit badge, a Lifetime Achievement Award, a Sample Ballot, A Diamond Club Status,  and was chosen as a BEST PATRIOT! So there, 2023 Audit!

MISSING INFORMATION: Your response to the Republican Verification Canvass will represent the ENTIRE (zip code) area! Complete NOW: (link)

This is SAD! We selected YOU to complete our 2023 Audit, but you NEVER RESPONDED. Take the Platform Audit NOW >> (link)

Wait, has the 2023 Audit seized control of GOP opinion of me?

Guess what Earl?? YOU WON! Accept your Lifetime Achievement Award & Impact Increase NOW >> (link)

Nope! I won! HA!

Should gas stoves be BANNED!?! 1 HR to take the official GOP Poll.
Act NOW >> (link)

So is this policy decision to be based on … polls? Let’s take a survey on the speed limit, too!

But, credit where credit is due, this is an actual policy question. Wow!

Is something wrong? You were SELECTED to represent the GOP in your area & never responded! Fill out your Republican sample Ballot: (link)


Are you awake, Earl? We chose YOU to join the Republican Advisory Board, but you FAILED to accept the spot! Hurry & claim: (link)

They’re onto me!

Republican leaders have selected YOU for our Lifetime Achievement Award! Your award even comes with a 250% INCREASE! 1 HR to ACCEPT: (link)

I get an increase? Wow! Such a gift for my lifetime achievement!

We are sending results from the Presidential Preference Poll to GOP leaders in 1 HOUR. Can I include your name, Earl? Act: (link)


Did Biden LIE about the “misplaced” classified documents? Poll closes in 1 HR! Vote NOW >> (link)

I’m sure that poll will be considered very important.

And the award goes to … YOU, Earl! Accept your GOP Golden Elephant HERE >> (link)

This is the HIGHEST rank the Republican Party can bestow, Earl. Accept your RNC Merit Badge HERE >> (link)

The HIGHEST rank!

INFORMATION REQUESTED: Your response to the Republican Verification Canvass will represent the ENTIRE (zip code) area! Answer NOW: (link)

Wow!

This is SAD! We selected YOU to complete our 2023 Audit, but you NEVER RESPONDED. Take the Platform Audit NOW >> (link)

Oh, no!

Jim Jordan has announced plans to investigate Big Tech’s COLLUSION with the Biden Administration. Sign the petition NOW & SUPPORT >> (link)

I’m sure that Jim Jordan will base his strategy on what Earl has to say.

Is something wrong? You were SELECTED to represent the GOP in CO & never responded! Take the Republican Verification Canvass: (link)

Oh no!

You satisfied all the criteria for an RNC MERIT BADGE! Accept your award, and 200% INCREASE, before it EXPIRES >> (link)

Tell me more about those rigorous criteria!

The (ZIP code) area will be KEY to taking back the White House. Will you take the Presidential Preference Poll? 1 HR: (link)


Conservatives are working to EXPOSE the Radical Left & need your help. Sign up for the Republican Diamond Club before it’s too late! (link)


Are you awake, Earl??
We chose YOU to join the Republican Advisory Board, but you FAILED to accept your spot! CLAIM >> (link)


This is the HIGHEST rank the Republican Party can bestow, Earl. Accept your RNC Merit Badge HERE >> (link)


INFORMATION REQUESTED: Your response to the Republican Verification Canvass will represent the ENTIRE (zip code) area! Answer NOW: (link)


Earl, we’ve never done this for anyone. We reopened the Patriot Life Membership list for the next 20MIN. Claim your spot: (link)

“20MIN!”

The results you provide us will play an important role in our CO strategy. Help stop the Democrats’ agenda! >> (link)


We’ve texted you SO MANY TIMES! Please, Earl, we NEED your name on our Petition to FIGHT Big Tech COLLUSION!
Sign HERE: (link)


Republican leaders have selected YOU for our Lifetime Achievement Award! Your award even comes with a 250% INCREASE! 1 HR to ACCEPT: (link)

There are those mixed messages again.

Have a drink on us! Celebrate America & the GOP by showing off these elegant GOP Whiskey Glasses! There’s a limited supply, so ACT: (link)

There’s actually been a remarkable lack of swag solicitation until this text. Kind of weird that the GOP is pushing drinking as their gauge of elegance.

MISSING INFORMATION: Your response to the Republican Verification Canvass will represent the ENTIRE (ZIP code) area! Complete NOW: (link)

Wow. so not asking many people, I guess.

We’ve texted you SO MANY TIMES! Please, Earl, we NEED your name on our Petition to FIGHT Big Tech COLLUSION! Sign HERE: (link)


Should gas stoves be BANNED!?! 1 HR to take the official GOP Poll. Act NOW >> (link)


Guess what Earl?? YOU WON! Accept your Lifetime Achievement Award & Impact Increase NOW >> (link)


HOW MANY TIMES ARE WE GOING TO HAVE TO ASK? Submit your Republican Sample Ballot! We’ve asked you SO MANY TIMES!
Act NOW >> (link)

But will you ever stop asking?

Do you want Pres. Trump to return to Facebook & Twitter? Vote NOW >> (link)

Wait, I get a vote on that? Has someone told Zuck and Elon?

To: Your GOP Nominee
From: Earl
Happy Valentine’s Day!
*Autograph your name HERE -> (link)

Wait … how do you know who my choice of nominee is?

Republican leaders have selected YOU for our Lifetime Achievement Award! Your award even comes with a 250% INCREASE! 1 HR to ACCEPT: (link)

Can I get a list of those leaders?

This is SAD! We selected YOU to complete our 2023 Audit, but you NEVER RESPONDED. Take the Platform Audit NOW >> (link)


This is the HIGHEST rank the Republican Party can bestow, Earl. Accept your RNC Merit Badge HERE >> (link)

Mixed messages, Ronna.

Earl, we’ve never done this for anyone. We just reopened the Patriot Life Membership list for the next 20MIN. Claim: (link)

Never done it for anyone!

Guess what Earl?? YOU WON! Accept your Lifetime Achievement Award & Impact Increase NOW >> (link)

Understandable how I won such an award, since you also reopened the Patriot Life Membership list!

Republicans MUST achieve success in 2024! Support the BRAND-NEW Take Back the White House Fund! Donate NOW >> (link)

This message seems positively pedestrian.

We’ve texted you SO MANY TIMES! Please, Earl, we NEED your name on our Petition to FIGHT Big Tech COLLUSION! Sign HERE: (link)


Is something wrong? You were SELECTED to represent the GOP in your area & never responded! Fill out your Republican sample Ballot: (link)

Oh, no!

This is the HIGHEST rank the Republican Party can bestow, Earl. Accept your RNC Merit Badge HERE >> (link)


This MUST be wrong, right? We have you marked as “Not Listed” for holding Big Tech ACCOUNTABLE. If this is wrong, fix it here: (link)


GOOD NEWS: A spot opened up & you’re officially invited to become a Patriot Life Member. Claim offer NOW >> (link)


Are you awake, Earl??
We chose YOU to join the Republican Advisory Board, but you FAILED to accept your spot! CLAIM: (link)

Getting whiplash here. Am I a disgusting, unawake (un-Woke?!) layabout, or am I a recipient of a Merit Badge, an invitation to be a Patriot Life Member (filling that rare open spot!), and an invitation to join the Republican Advisory Board?

FIRST Democrats wanted to BAN your gas-powered vehicles, NOW they want to BAN your gas stove.
Had enough? ACT: (link)

And those disgusting Democrats managed to do those things without actually doing them! The nerve!

Is something wrong? You were SELECTED to represent the GOP in CO & never responded! Take the Republican Verification Canvass: (link)


We’ve texted you SO MANY TIMES! Please, Earl, we NEED your name on our Petition to FIGHT Big Tech COLLUSION! Sign HERE: (link)


You were nominated over almost ANY OTHER PATRIOT in CO for the GOP Golden Elephant! Why haven’t you accepted? CLAIM >> (link)


This is SAD! We selected YOU to complete our 2023 Audit, but you NEVER RESPONDED. Take the Platform Audit NOW >> (link)

I feel so ashamed, because you wanted me so badly and I never called.

The RNC Award Committee selected YOU for our highly coveted GOP Golden Elephant! Claim your benefits HERE: (link)

All is forgiven!

Ronna McDaniel: I’m proud to share I was re-elected to run the RNC for another cycle! Will you help build momentum for 2024? ACT >> (link)

Why is it you’ve lost momentum, Ronna?

Is something wrong? You were SELECTED to represent the GOP in your area & never responded! Fill out your Republican sample Ballot: (link)


Earl! Where’s your response to the Presidential Preference Poll?? Complete HERE: (link)

Uh-oh!

You’ve been PRE-SELECTED! Claim your 600% INCREASE & help CRUSH our End-of-Month Goal! 1 HR >> (link)

Well, if you’re only going to offer a 600% Increase, rather than a 2000% Increase like earlier this month, why should I pay any attention to you?

You were nominated over almost ANY OTHER PATRIOT in CO for the GOP Golden Elephant! Why haven’t you accepted? CLAIM >> (link)


HOW MANY TIMES ARE WE GOING TO HAVE TO ASK? Submit your Republican Sample Ballot! We’ve asked you SO MANY TIMES!
Act NOW >> (link)

I’m beginning to think you’re onto me!

We’ve RARELY do this, Earl. You’ve been CHOSEN to become 1 of the FIRST to receive the GOP’s 600% IMPACT Offer.
Claim: (link)

I’m not sure it’s all that rare, to be honest, looking at your history over the course of the month.

Are you awake, Earl? We chose YOU to join the Republican Advisory Board, but you FAILED to accept your spot! Claim NOW: (link)

Oh, no! Will they still have a quorum?

NOTICE: The GOP upped your impact to 650% for 1 HOUR. Don’t share. This special link is for you only, Earl. Donate: (link)

Oooh … I get my own, special, unique link, which is incremented one tick from the link on the previous text message.

Is something wrong? You were SELECTED to represent the GOP in CO & never responded! Take the Republican Verification Canvass: (link)

How exactly would I have represented them?

For the FIRST TIME in 2023: We’re activating an End-of-Month IMPACT INCREASE!
Find out how much: (link)

Yes, it’s incredible how at the end of the first month in 2023, you are activating an end-of-month fundraising thing for the first time in 2023!

Earl, we never do this for anyone. We just reopened the Patriot Life Membership list for the next 20MIN. Claim your spot: (link)

“20MIN!”

We just released our FINAL LIST of Lifetime Achievement Award Nominees! See if you made the cut >> (link)

I’ll betcha I did, if I donate something.

You were nominated over almost ANY OTHER PATRIOT in CO for the GOP Golden Elephant! Why haven’t you accepted?
CLAIM >> (link)

Does it come with an actual elephant? Because that would be awesome.

Earl, Our End-of-Month goal is CRUCIAL to taking back the White House. EVERY CENT counts. Will you chip in? 700% Impact: (link)

That is a remarkably mundane fund-raising request.

HOW MANY TIMES ARE WE GOING TO HAVE TO ASK? Submit your Republican Sample Ballot! We’ve asked you SO MANY TIMES! Act NOW >> (link)


You’re in the 95th percentile of ALL our supporters. Will you keep your TOP spot? Contribute ASAP for a 700% IMPACT! HURRY >> (link)

Oh, no! I might lose my top spot of contributors! Eeek!

Earl, we never do this for anyone. We just reopened the Patriot Life Membership list for the next 20MIN. Claim your spot: (link)

Didn’t you just do that a few days ago?

Make your FIRST EVER contribution of 2023 & help Republicans keep pace so we can CRUSH our fundraising goal. Act NOW >> (link)

So it’s good (for certain values of “good”) to know that the texts aren’t completely random, but that there’s some tracking of contributions going on.

We’ve authorized a 750% IMPACT for the NEXT HR to help CRUSH our End-of-Month goal! This offer is for YOU, Earl.
Claim: (link)

Where’s that 2000% one? I know you can do it, GOP!

Earl! Where is your response to the Presidential Preference Poll??
Complete HERE: (link)


This is the HIGHEST rank the Republican Party can bestow, Earl. Accept your RNC Merit Badge HERE >> (link)


Is something wrong? You were SELECTED to represent the GOP in your area & never responded! Fill out your Republican sample Ballot: (link)

And again with the mixed messages.

One final note. The link on each text was slightly different, incrementing alphabetically (/aca, /acb, /acc, /acd …). Thus, if Earl clicked on a given text, the GOP would know which one made him actually click.

I’m sure there’s nothing they’d do with that information.

At any rate, while I suppose I should feel faintly guilty for keeping Earl from his Very Important Texts and Opportunities to Accept Rewards and Respond to Surveys and Give Money … I can’t also help feeling that Earl might be a bit more relaxed without the GOP sending his text messages every 3-4 hours.

Until he sends them money and gives them his actual mobile number.

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