I’m sensing hostility here. No, really. Lots of folks ragging on Valentines Day. “A creation of the greeting card industry! A fabrication to promote the buying of flowers and candy! Why is it okay to be nice one day a year and a jerk the other 364 or 365?”
The answer to the last question is, of course it isn’t okay. If someone’s using V-Day as a way to make up for being a jerk, then s/he needs to catch a clue.
But as to the rest … so what? I’m celebrating V-Day, and I’m not buying an expensive greeting card. I’m not buying boxes of chocolates. Okay, I brought some flowers home for Margie yesterday, but that’s because she was sounding irked about something, and I thought it would be nice.
Just like Christmas isn’t the only day to give gifts and dream of “peace on Earth, good will toward men,” or the Fourth of July isn’t the only day to be patriotic, so, too, V-Day isn’t the only day to be lovey-dovey. But it’s a good reminder and excuse to be.
So stop being love-Scrooges. If you want to give your bunny-boo a kiss today and tomorrow, go for it. But just because Hallmark would love for you to reach out and touch fifty of your closest friends today doesn’t mean the sentiment of the day is sucky. It just means we have to make it clear to our nearest-and-dearest that we’re not acting out of character today, but simply acting more in-character.
So Happy Valentines Day, Margie. I love you. And hopefully that’s just a reminder, not a revelation.
Dude, I know I ramble sometimes (and throw in a little random anti-consumerism), but I believe that was the point.
And you’re right, of course. I just opened up three sites (yours was the third, and the only one I had still open), and it was just feeling like the message was, “Valentines Day = Corporate Creation = Evil = Something to Get Rid Of.” Which was not what you were saying.
The two designs against Valentine’s Day that I’ve seen are:
1) It costs money. This is a common thread I’ve seen against the whole “dating experience” wherein folks (usually guys) complain that there’s a correlation between spending and “gettin’.”
2) It makes lonely people feel lonelier. This part makes some sense, too, given that the obvious bias is that if you’re not “with someone,” you’re some kind of loser. I don’t know if this is related to the “there’s someone for everyone” myth, but it seems like this is the rebound from New Years Eve, where people are encouraged to get someone, anyone, for a date to kiss in the new year.
Frankly, my husband sent me the perfect e-mail this morning. It didn’t mention any of the stress, and it summed up many of the things adored…so I’m happy. Which makes up for being alone when everyone else “suddenly remembers” to hold hands. [grin]
I think more people would enjoy VD and New Years for that matter, if they had realistic expectations of the event. If you’re with a couch potato don’t expect to be wined and dined. And maybe you’re VD “gift” to your couch potato should be free rein, no nag, choice of a movie for tonight. For me VD is a chance for me to do something a little nice for my hunny-bunny, period. Whatever he does in return is just icing on the cake. It’s all about communicating expectations.
The flowers and notes were a nice surprise, thanks love.
🙂
“It costs money” — no more than any other gifting occasion. There are plenty of things you can do for your love that require only minimal funds (and a bit of imagination). Sweet notes to your lovey on your blog, for example.
And, of course, if you’re only doing it to “get some” (or if it’s a precondition to “getting some”), then there are bigger problems than V-Day.
As for “it makes lonely people lonelier,” well … tough. 🙂
No, seriously, it’s like complaining that having a holiday like Mothers Day is unfair to orphans, or folks who have bad relationships with their moms.
I can’t say that VD is on my list of favorite holidays since its so connected to romatic love as opposed to love in general, much like Christmas. I do however, try to remember the important people in my life, especially those I don’t see often. By the way, I burned my dinner becuase I wans’t watching the clock while I read your blog, Dave, so you owe me one.
Sorry about dinner, but we appreciated the card.