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B5 Rewatch: 5×07 “Secrets of the Soul”

Hot telepath sex, not-so-hot telepath origins, and aliens who are (gasp) keeping secrets

This ep manages to have very clear A- and B-plots, with some occasional medlab scenes to help them cross-over. And the theme for today, in very different ways, is reparations.

A-Plot: As more telepaths show up at B5, tensions continue to grow. Outcasts in Downbelow resent that the teeps get free food and meds from the station. Zack has suddenly become a jerk, and has decided he really doesn’t trust teeps — except Lyta, of course, because she’s different, which attitude doesn’t endear him to her, and pushes her into being … kind of sketchily fanatical.

LYTA: If Byron asked me to follow him into hell, I’d do it gladly with a smile on my face, because I believe in him. What could you possibly say in five minutes that would change that?

Babylon 5 5x07 Secrets of the Soul - byron bloody lip
Byron’s “Turn the Other Cheek” routine is likely to end just as badly as the previous fellow’s.

There’s one briefly violent encounter where Byron lets himself get punched in the face multiple times, both defuse a bully’s anger and to teach his people about being non-violent.

BYRON: Your anger has nothing to do with me. What will satisfy your anger will never come from me or anyone else here. I’m afraid you must look for it elsewhere.

Unfortunately, the same gang ends up curb-stomping another teep found on his own — and when Byron’s teeps telepathically torture one of the gang members to find out who was responsible, Byron gets arrested for the crime (very clearly unjustly). Which mean, since Zack is being a jerk and leaves Byron to cool his heels in a cell overnight, it means that Byron’s not there to restrain his people from assaulting one gang member telepathically to torture the whereabouts of the perp, and then beating the perp to death, all in utter silence.

There’s probably a sane middle ground between Byron’s “oh, I am so disappointed with them, I am a failure as a leader” moaning, and Lyta’s “I can’t excuse what they did, but, yeah, I can totally excuse what they did,” but the script turns up the melodrama dial. Lyta’s been reluctant to dive headlong into the teep colony, but seeing her beautiful cover model brood and angst over what’s happened (a scene that is either overwrought in its acting, or Byron intentionally manipulating her), she strips down and has hot telepathic sex with him.

Yeah, it seemed a bit odd to me, too.

Not, of course, as odd as what happens next.

One, the telepaths are clearly aware that their main man is going at it with his new girlfriend. I mean, it’s not like the bead screen between the floors they were sleeping on and Byron’s quarters offered that much privacy anyway, let alone the whole telepathy thing, but …

Babylon 5 5x07 Secrets of the Soul - vorlon fetal experiment
Fetal alien being made … telepathic?

Two, finally having some hot sex (or any sex) for the first time since she was taken by the Vorlons and Made Their Agent, triggers a whole bunch of memories for Lyta, both how things were like when she was working for the Vorlons (first Kosh, then, far less pleasantly, Kosh 2), and then, before that, how things were when she was in a tank, being biologically altered, and could see, in thousands of tanks around her, other individuals, some of them babies or fetuses, for a dozen races, similarly being modified.

And, of course, those memories are all being projected into Byron, and into all the teeps who have been awakened and are watching.

Which is when things get a bit dark, because while Byron has been begging folks for a planetary colony to being his people, now he knows a deeper truth: telepathic abilities were bred into races around the galaxy by the Vorlons, to serve them as weapons against the Shadows. And while he can’t sue the Vorlons, all the younger races are on the hook for their debts.

BYRON: They owe us a place where we can be among our own kind. We’ll ask to speak to the Alliance, put our case before them, see if they can be persuaded to do the right thing.

LYTA: And if they can’t?

BYRON: Then we’ll make sure they have no other choice.

Ssssssooo much for being Gandhi?

Babylon 5 5x07 Secrets of the Soul - hyach
“I’ve got a secret.”

B-Plot: Franklin hasn’t gotten much love this season, but now gets at least half an episode to play with. He’s been tasked by Sheridan to study inter-species disease, to help address potential illnesses and plagues that could jump populations. It’s right in line with his past studies of non-human physiology, and with his refusal to develop bioweapons against non-humans.

Babylon 5 5x07 Secrets of the Soul - hyach-doh
Hyach-doh. Apparently the cap-wearing was considered genocidally déclassé.

In this ep, he’s researching the Hyach, a race that wants to be in the Alliance, but is very secretive about their past. Franklin researches the shit out of them, and ultimately uncovers the secret they have hidden from the galaxy: two sentient races, capable of interbreeding, were present on their world until about a thousand years ago, when the Hyach decided it was time to exterminate the Hyach-doh, and, in fact did so.

While it looks like Franklin might be killed for uncovering the secret, it turns out the racial elders had a reason to let him uncover it: the Hyach are going extinct. Something about past hybridizing with the Hyach-doh was apparently necessary for their medical/genetic survival, but now they’ve unwittingly killed the people who might have saved them. Unless Franklin might possibly research and discover a cure …

Franklin will do no such thing, more than happy to indict the present Hyach, who have been maintaining this secret, as accessories after the fact to genocide. Only if the secret is let out will he help organize the massive, interplanetary research project needed.

It comes across as kind of a strident response to the situation — Yes, you are responsible for the sins of your fathers — but it also abruptly reminded me a bit of the debate over contemoprary reparations to Black Americans over slavery (and post-slavery racial injustice), esp. with Franklin, a Black man, serving as proxy for the Hyach-doh.

Babylon 5 5x07 Secrets of the Soul - vorlon experiments
Remember when folk still thought the Vorlons were good guys?

Other Bits and Bobs: So, yeah, reparations. Byron is convinced that his people deserve a planet, not just because it would be a charitable thing, but because they are owed it because of Vorlon interference with their fates. And Franklin is sort of demanding it of the Hyach– a public acknowledgment of (and shaming about) the identity and existence of the Hyach-doh, and what happened to them.

Not sure if that synchronicity was intended, but it passed right over my head the first time.

Babylon 5 5x07 Secrets of the Soul - teeps arriving
“What, we’ve got more of THEM arriving?”

As mentioned, Zack is playing his blue-collar Everyman role a bit strong, acting as a racist jerk toward the telepaths moving into his neighborhood and making trouble.  (That he is maybe a bit jealous that Lyta is spiraling into their orbit probably doesn’t help.) That Zack has, in the past, been a voice of reason when Garibaldi was going off the deep end doesn’t help it feel a bit jarring.

The teeps, meanwhile, keep getting more and more cult-like. Early on in the ep, Lyta refuses to sleep over with the gang because she feels she doesn’t belong yet. At which point, Byron violates a whole bunch of confidential boundaries, walks out into the main room, and announces that Lyta doesn’t feel like she belongs with them. Which leads, in turn, to all the teeps getting up and gathering around her and giving her hugs.

Knowing (as I didn’t when the episode aired) that Joe spent time in a cult after he left home … yeah. The signs are all there.

Meanwhile:  An odd episode with only three of the twelve regular cast members present (Franklin, Zack, and Lyta).

While Patricia Tallman was not actually nude (though with only quite sheer and unreliable pasties) they still made it a closed set during the filming. JMS — who apparently was quite uncomfortable even writing an intimate scene like that (he literally has in the script, “I wonder which is more embarrassing, reading this or writing it?”) — did not visit the set during filming. Though apparently Doug Netter, leading a group of studio executives on a tour, and having missed the CLOSED SET note on the call sheet, did.

It’s maybe worth remembering that while the genocide of the Hyach-doh a thousand years back is treated here as a terrible shame, tragedy, and capital-crime-by-association, back in S.1, the Centauri extermination of the Xon (only two thousand years ago) is treated as, well, literally a joke (at least by the Centauri).

So the B5 Rewatch has been stretching on for some time, but it had been multiple months since the last time we watched. My son had put together (for a different show we’re watching only when he’s home) a Google Slides presentation to brief us on characters and dramatic situations we might have forgotten. Inspired by that, I came up with this presentation to refresh him and my wife before we started watching this ep.

Most Dramatic Moment: The Lyta-Byron-sex-flashback-Vorlons-voyeurism scene probably hits the high mark here, especially when her eyes go all black and spooky.

Lyta started this series as something of a victim, and continued along that path for the past four years, trying to find an institution — Psi Corps, B5, the Vorlons — who would support her and treat her the way she wanted. They all failed. Unfortunately, the moment she’s going to choose to finally take an independent stand … will not be a good one for her.

Most Amusing Moment: This is not a laff-riot episode, and the usual suspects for humor and humorous interaction (Sheridan, Lochley, Londo, Garibaldi, Vir, even Lennier) were not around.

Babylon 5 5x07 Secrets of the Soul - pakmara vomit
Just another day in Medlab.

So the best probably comes from the pre-credits sequence, where Franklin introduces what he’s doing about interspecies diseases in a conversation with a Pak’ma’ra, which is amusing in and of itself, but gets better when Franklin tries to feed him a barium milkshake.

(The Pak’ma’ra prosthetics/movement are actually very, very good. Today it would be done with CG, but the practical FX are nicely executed.)

Babylon 5 5x07 Secrets of the Soul - Lyta in the tank
Lyta, Vorlons, and the tank

Most Arc-ish Moment: Lyta’s flash-back, hands-down — literally hitting big moments from her character arc, plus peeling a further lid off the history of telepaths and the not-very-nice nature of the Vorlons.

Overall Rating: 3.1 of 5.0 — The A-plot whipsaws back and forth, with a lot of obvious set-up, a lot of melodrama, and a lot of cultish weirdness.  I’m probably giving it a higher score than it deserves because of the big Vorlon/flashback scene.  The B-plot is a fascinating setup, but ends in a very talky way that turns out both smarmy and preachy and far too neatly wrapped with a moral bow.

(Rating History)

Other Resources for this episode:

Previous episode: 5×06 “Strange Relations”

Next episode: 5×08 “Day of the Dead” – Neil Gaiman guest writes, as folk on the station are visited by the deceased of their past. What could go wrong?

There is some controversy as to where “Day of the Dead” should be placed. It was written early in the season, after only four scripts had been completed by JMS, and before all the detailed chronology was figured out; it was originally shot 11th, but shuffled to 8th during the original run because of conflicts with the NBA playoffs, and so as to let a more solid sequence of episodes occur. This creates some minor continuity conflicts, and some oddness with G’kar and Londo being (still? again?) on B5, but other recommended options have their own inconsistencies as well. Since it’s all relatively trivial, I’m going with DotD next, as in the original broadcast and HBO Max.

Movie Review: “Spider-Man: No Way Home” (2021)

Tom Holland SM films have been about growing up. This one’s even more so.

Spider-Man: No Way Home is a complicated film, on one level. There are multiple fight sequences, as well as a lot of talking sequences, some big passages of time, some thorny conundrums that get handwaved aside, and some others that last until the bitter end.

The last SM movie ended with Peter Parker being outed by Alex Jones fill-in J Jonah Jameson both as Spider-Man and (thanks to villainous shenanigans) as the murderer of Mysterio and the wreaker of havoc across London.

The movie manages to quickly get past that, but it also has impacts through the entire film. Even though the cliche of “wanted by the police” isn’t lingered over, the repercussions of the event continue to last, leaving Peter’s life a never-ending media circus. But, as we’ve had hammered home over the years since the last SM film, public belief doesn’t necessarily align with truth, meaning that even when Peter is exonerated, he remains under attack by JJJ and by a substantial portion of the general population.

Worse, the biggest villain fought against by our her for the first quarter of the movie is the college admission process, and MIT decides that all the excitement means they will take a pass not just on Peter’s application, but on his girlfriend MJ’s and his bestie Ned’s. Which in turn leads Peter to go to Doctor Strange to see if the Sorcerer Supreme can set things aright.

He does not, but in the process the universe is broken, and beings from other worlds start to shift into ours, in particular some arch-enemies of previous Sony Spiderverse films.

It’s all a glorious muddle, yet the narrative through-line is maintained amidst various super-battles, with Peter trying to take care of his friends and family … and learning that great Spider-Man lesson not yet uttered in this go-around.

Ultimately, SMNWH is a story about growing up, of coming of age — not solely because Tom Holland is becoming a more mature actor in appearance, but also (to not be meta) not just in personal courage and heroism (Peter has already demonstrated that). This is a movie about that moment of maturity when one learns to extend the application of one’s virtue beyond just a  circle of friends and family. That includes the willingness to lose everything in order to save others, even those who might not deserve it.

Throw in a great soundtrack by Michael Giacchino, some really nicely done SFX (including battles of CG figures that look more and more realistic), a variety of cameos from elsewhere in the Multiverse, and a ton of witty banter and general geekery, and it’s a delightful capstone to the Tom Holland trilogy of Spider-Man films.

(So, of course, they’ve announced a fourth film. We’ll see what they do with it.)

P.S. There are two post-credit scenes, one to placate Sony, one to placate Marvel. Neither are great, but worth waiting for unless you really, really need to pee.

Spider-Man: No Way Home poster

Originally posted on Letterboxd.

Death

It sucks.

I got word today that my online friend, Les Jenkins, passed away. He was suffering from too-late-diagnosed pancreatic, et al. cancer, knew he was dying soon, and, after a few weeks of hospice care, did.

Dammit.

Les started his “Stupid Evil Bastard” blog a little bit after I started this one. We crossed path fairly early on, ended up being fairly regular commenters back and forth in different social media, and eventually developed one of those weird Internet friendships that the 21st Century has wrought. We never met in person, I regret to say, but we discussed things online, we chatted online back and forth, we actually talked on the telephone multiple times (as we older folk do), and we even did, over the last decade, several podcasts/vlogs where we just nattered on about politics and pop culture and philosophy and life.

And now, as they say, he’s gone.

Les was smart and clever. He was a deft hand at PC technology, that being his career path. He had a dry sense of humor, and a deep devotion to the people and causes he held dear. He no pretenses to personal virtue (thus the name of his blog), but never became utterly cynical about human nature (thus the subtitle to his blog, “What the fuck is wrong with you people?”

Les was a firm atheist. He’d reached that conclusion through consideration and logic and reasoning. He could be merciless in dealing with theists (usually fundies) who would come to his site to debate him or, worse, preach at him. Yet even though I’m not of that persuasion, he never subjected me to his razor tongue, probably because I wasn’t interested in debating him on the subject. We’ll all eventually learn the truth (or not be in a position to care about it), and both of us were willing to play that long game.

Which turned out to be far shorter for Les than it should have been.

So on the one hand, it would be presumptuous of me to  consider him in any sort of afterlife, looking down with that crooked smirk at the world. But my own belief, or weakness, as someone who believes in such an afterlife (though clueless as to how it’s constituted), is to hope that someday I’ll get a chance to sit down with him, in “person” this time, and chat over what he’s learned. He’s definitely the sort of company I’d want in such a state.

And, of course, if he was right, neither of us will know otherwise. So either way, it’s all fine.

I’ve lost family members over the years. I was there when my dad passed. But Les — a peer, a friend, someone who went from “Oh, hey, another tweet” to “he’s gone” in a seeming heartbeat — that’s a wake-up call to the transitory nature of life, a reminder of the mortality of anyone (self included).

Discussions of death should be about the subject who’s gone, but inevitably are about the person writing about them.

Anyway …

… thanks, Les. You helped me through some PC tech issues, sure. You engaged me in interesting conversation and consideration of my own beliefs. You were a friendly presence in my life, and my life was better for you being in it. Even without an afterlife, your impact on others around you lives on. Rest in peace, sir.

stupid evil bastard banner

Yes, Putin is acting because he sees weakness. But …

… it’s not the weakness that the GOP is nattering about

After decades of on-again, off-again muttering, Vladimir Putin has sent his Russia (and his Belarus) to invade his neighbor, Ukraine.  There are a lot of internal reasons for him to be doing this — NATO expansion is not one of them, but his own sense of mortality and history more likely are — but the result is arguably the largest military operation on European soil since the end of WW2. And it’s a conflict that will not only mean blood and suffering in the Ukraine, but further weaken the bonds of the international order and trigger further wars, if not in Europe then elsewhere.

One of the most amazing elements of the whole tragic affair so far, though, has been this sort of thing:

House GOP weakness tweet
Stay classy and patriotic, House GOP

I mean, clearly, the era of “partisanship stops at the water’s edge” is long over (if it ever really existed), but the Republican Party’s eagerness to score whatever political points they can, in any way, under any circumstances, has reached new depths.

(Not to mention nonsensical ones: how is the President, leaving the podium and exiting the room, after briefing the press, a sign of weakness? But, following the rules of the Big Lie, the GOP simply repeats its Trump-led mantra of “Sleepy Joe” and pretends it’s being witty.)

As the situation around Ukraine worsened, the GOP had a single message: that Vladimir Putin was moving in his perceived national self-interests (which Fox folk like Tucker Carlson say seem perfectly legit to them!) because Joe Biden’s “weakness” was taunting him on. Or, put another way: This never happened under Donald Trump’s presidency! Putin respected Trump’s strength and resolve, and would never have dared do such a thing! Biden’s weak! Trump is strong! [insert sounds of beating on chest here]

Trump strong! Trump smash!

Leave aside for a moment the lack of merits as to Putin’s casus belli here (which many in the GOP and GOP-adjacent seem to be flirting with simply accepting, out of some slavish devotion to Putin as a Strong Man who is anti-“woke” and pro-Christian and anti-LGBTQ and pro-“family” and therefore rings all those chimes for the far Right). Leave aside that, even if Joe Biden had literally invited Russia to invade Ukraine, invading another sovereign nation is Not Cool, and is still an action that Putin — who has previously invaded other parts of Ukraine, not to mention Georgia — still decided to do, on his own initiative. Leave aside a degree of American hypocrisy about sovereignty and flimsy justifications for invasion.

Did Joe Biden’s “weakness” contribute to Putin’s terrible (or, if you listen to Donald Trump, “clever”) decision to invade Ukraine?

Yes. But not the way yahoos like Trump and Cruz and Tucker will have you believe.

But Putin didn’t invade while Trump was Prez. That shows Putin doesn’t respect Biden!

Is it actually a bad thing that a murderous, anti-democracy autocrat, someone who beats, jails, assassinates, or disappears his opponents and critics while retaining supreme power for decades, on behalf of himself and his kleptocratic buddies, doesn’t respect the sort of person Joe Biden is?

That actually strikes me as a good thing.

Well, what I mean is that Putin respected Trump’s strength and resolve! 

Hardly. Putin got nearly anything he wanted from Trump. Trump went along with the fait accompli of Crimea annexation. Trump did his darnedest to roll back those “worthless” sanctions that had been placed on Putin’s regime because of them. Trump weakened Ukraine’s defenses, removing a GOP plank to send arms to Ukraine, and then delaying and leveraging arms shipments to get the Ukraine government to politically damage Joe Biden (you might recall there was an impeachment about it and everything). Trump weakened NATO, trying to recast it as a transactional, mercenary arrangement, downplaying the value of that alliance and, in fact, of any alliances, and casting doubt that, if another NATO country were attacked, he’d actually fulfill US Article 5 obligations to step in. Trump showed over and over again, from Iraq to Syria to Afghanistan that he’d pull troops out of anywhere because he wasn’t interested in world order or commitments or principle, only in his own ego and what made him look good. Trump raised Putin’s image on the world stage, calling him strong and smart and ruthless and powerful. Meanwhile, at home, Trump divided America, taking partisan gaps and wrenching them further open with a crowbar.

Why on Earth would Vladimir Putin ever endanger that? After investing in monkeywrenching the 2016 presidential election and, to his great surprise, being rewarded with a Donald Trump winning the damned, thing, why would he ever do anything that might antagonize or weaken his greatest global ally, witting or unwitting?

Putin and Trump
BFFs

No, no, Putin knew Trump was strong and resolute and would strike out at anyone who crossed the US. He’d never admit it, but he feared Donald Trump.

If Putin feared Trump, it was to this degree: Trump is, even if you have him accurately pegged as an unprincipled narcissist, unpredictable and savage. Crossing him too publicly, in a way that offended his ego, affected his support, endangered his chance of being carved into Mount Rushmore, was to risk not only an ALL CAPS EARLY MORNING TWITTER SCREED!!!!!! but possibly something even more damaging.

Does anyone doubt that Trump would be willing to threaten — if not carry out — lobbing nukes if he took it into his head (and his sycophants suggested it was a good way to look strong)? A man who was so bound up in his pride that he was willing to sit by while a violent mob stormed the US Capitol on his behalf, and seriously considered deploying the military to overthrow the 2020 election?

Yeah, even a bad guy fears a crazy desperado with a gun. That’s still not a good thing.

Not a real photo but part of a real quote

But Biden is clearly weak. He didn’t prevent the invasion of Ukraine. Putin knew Sleepy Joe’s weakness would let him do whatever he wanted.

It’s worth noting that those who make this argument are extraordinarily vague about what should have been done to prevent Putin’s act of war. They simply wave their hand and say that it would never have happened under Trump, without even bothering to suggest what Trump would have done to stop it.

(They don’t have to because, of course, it’s not a rational argument.)

But there is one nugget of truth, at the last, in their accusation.

Joe Biden is weak.

Because America is weak.

McCarthy & McConnell
Party over Nation

Joe Biden is hobbled by the profound partisan divisions in the US, divisions led by a GOP that is still dominated by Trump and Trumpism, and who are more interested in pulling down Joe Biden than in stopping Vladimir Putin. Putin knows this. Indeed, he’s actually done what he can to engineer the whole situation.

What are the chances that the US will stand firm and united in doing what it can to stop, mitigate, or punish Putin’s actions? Zero. Nobody is actually going to suggest sending in US troops. That leaves economic and political retribution, and the effect of that will take years, even assuming it is maintained for that long. And the GOP will be right there, unwilling to offer realistic solutions, just claiming that Biden “lost” Ukraine (or even that Russia was justified in their actions and that Biden was a loser anyway for not realizing that).

Putin, whatever his reasons for invading Ukraine, has to have seen this as the perfect moment, not because Joe Biden is a weak man, but because he oversees a government that is weakened by internal division, by an opposition party that sees Biden as their real target and Putin, if not an ally, then a tool to use against him. Which makes them tools in Putin’s hand for long-term success.

Putin wink
Beyond his wildest dreams

And if the GOP hamstring Biden from systemic, sustained action against Putin, and manage to put Trump (or whoever is the Trumpiest candidate they can agree upon) in the White House in three-plus years, will that person simply do what Trump did, shrug and work to lift any remaining sanctions? Write off NATO as a bad and expensive idea and let it shift for its own?

What will that weakness encourage Putin to do next? What will it encourage the rest of Europe to do to appease him?

What will it encourage China to do?

What will it encourage any nation around the world who see a richer, weaker neighbor, and knows we’re lurching backwards a century or more, to an era of “spheres of influence” and “might makes right.”

The GOP is correct in saying that Putin is emboldened by weakness.

But they’re the source of it. And the consequences will extend long beyond the Russian conquest of the Ukraine.

TV Review: “The Book of Boba Fett” (2021-22)

The lovely parts are far greater than the muddled, poorly-structured whole.

So … The Book of Boba Fett.

Sigh.

YES THERE ARE SPOILERS HERE FOR THE SERIES, AND BITS AND BOBS OF THE FINALE. YOU SHOULD WATCH IT FIRST (YES, YOU SHOULD, EVEN IF IT HAS SOME SIGNIFICANT FLAWS).

You know the drill.

This was a marvelous, stirring, my-younger-fanboy-would-disbelieve-we’d-ever-see-it collection of incredibly cool, thoughtful, interesting, thrilling, exciting, lore-filled, great bits and ideas …

… that were greater than the eventual sum of their parts.

To start bluntly, dramatic pacing on this show was for shit. Backflashes and presentflashes and huge sidequests and where-the-hell-is-the-titular-character chunks of story dominated the whole series. Loading down the saga with backstory and exposition can be done … but it has to pay off. And inserting massive peripheral tales that have nothing to do with the core narrative would rightfully have any writing group pulling out the torches and flensing knives.

Hey, know that graph of how a novel is structured? Essentially a cascading series of rising actions, ending in a big climax and then a denouement?

Look! A plot structure!

This series was just a constant stream of static.

Slow moments. Fast moments. Small moments. Big moments. All thrown into a blender with no actual pacing, aside from the Disney+ “The final episode will be full of pew-pew-pew action.”

And even in that final episode, which was, to be sure, mostly the huge blow-out action sequence that people were looking for …

… we get interrupted mid-stream by an extended sequence of gratuitous Groguness.

Yeah, things are getting unbearably tense in Mos Espa … so let’s break for several minutes of cute Grogu action!

… the titular character, master of a dozen deadly weapons, spends much of his time during the big action sequences not doing much more than hanging with a (beautifully rendered) CGI figure, yanking on chains.

He … mostly sits up there.

… the denouement is an utterly flat collection of much of the cast, and then some meaningless Mando stuff, and then a mid-credit scene of a supporting character with supporting character and ROLL REST OG CREDITS.

Honestly, I didn’t recognize him on first watch.

Whu–?

(Okay, I’ll give a shout-out to the secondary characters. The Mod gang. The Gamorreans. The Freetowners. Krrsantan. The Mayor. The Mayor’s Chief of Staff. They were all finely done. But they weren’t the real focus of series, even if I’d have loved to see more of them.)

We ended up in this series spending so much time with fun stuff and cool stuff and interesting stuff and backstory stuff and lore stuff and fan service  stuff that … it feels like they forgot it was supposed to maybe … be a story … nay, a book … a book of … well, let’s grab a name at random, say … Boba Fett.

I honestly don’t know if they decided halfway through the plotting that they had run out of ideas and therefore threw in a bunch of other stuff (Sarlacc! Mando! Grogu! Cad Bane!), or if there was never a story to begin with, or if this was a way of sneaking in a Season 2.5 of The Mandalorian past the Disney overseers … but …

Really, truly, the idea of …

a bounty hunter, the coolest bounty hunter (and bodyguard and button man) ever, deciding they didn’t want to work for stupid, short-sighted, inept, venal bosses any more, but wanted to become their own boss, a boss unto themselves, building something that was theirs, and in the process learned the challenges, perils, pitfalls, challenges, seduction, and ultimately oblige of power

that is an awesome story. And that’s what the trailer promised us.

Boba Fett, and the uneasy head that wears the crown

And that’s what … we got a watered-down half-a-story of, mixed up with a cloudy brew of guest figures, parallel stories, and fan-cruft.

Heck, imagine the difference if we took all that irrelevant Mandalorian time and added in some internal conflict to the Boba Fett story.

For example, Fennec Shand repeatedly bumps heads (if lightly) with Boba Fett about taking a more forceful, bloody, and criminal course of being a mob boss. Hey, Spice is profitable! That could have given us some real conflict. Is she going to argue when he says, “No”? Is she going to consider her options? Is she going to set up a side gig? Is she going to (even seem to) consider betraying him? Will the Pykes approach her, thinking she’s a weak link? Will she show she’s her own person … and ultimately make the right choice for her own reasons?

Nope. A kick-ass character and great actress, she just spends most of her time in the series giving us recaps of the situation (overlapping the “Previously” intros),  nodding politely to Boba’s orders, and then being a deus ex assassin at key moments. A huge waste.

Just me … and my … shaaaaadow!

Or consider, if you wanted to drag the Mandalorian into the mix (which his own series laid the groundwork for), we could create some dramatic tension from that. Does Din Djarin really support Boba Fett’s ends (or his understanding of Boba’s ends) or is he supporting Boba, reluctantly, out of a sense honor? How far does that go? Does he protest Boba’s course? Does he actually show that possible internal conflict? Conversely, does Boba Fett really trust him? Does his see how his own sense of honor/obligation lines up to Mando’s? What do these two characters have in common, and where do they have differences, and how can we let that actually drive some drama between them?

Nope. Instead, we get “I am Lawful Neutral, so I will follow your orders to the death.” “Dude, you really believe that?” “It is the Way.” Ho-hum.

“Because they’re cousins … identical cousins …”

Hell, as far as that goes, even Boba Fett, the titular character, after getting a burst of character growth in the extended Tuskan flashbacks (very nicely done) … spends most of the series in an enlightened mob boss state. From the time in the present when he sits on Jabba’s throne to the end of the show … he doesn’t actually seem to grow or change. He’s the “I am the boss. I will rule with respect. I will protect my people” guy. He doesn’t get any internal conflicts, he doesn’t clash with anyone but obvious enemies, he doesn’t question his course. He just cruises along. His only challenge is a bit of naivete as to what it takes to run a city as a mob boss. That’s the only internal “conflict” he faces. Which is … a bit boring.

Boba really doesn’t tick any of these boxes.

While the Mando 2.5 miniseries bits were a huge gimping disruption, I did enjoy them for themselves. Playing with the Darksaber (when it could do things); running into Luke, and Ahsoka, and Grogu; learning that Luke is, yeah, just like we learn in the third trilogy, going to be a Jedi dick of a teacher … all of that was informative and fun. It was all great.

And it was totally inappropriate to this series. It had nothing to do with Boba Fett. It had nothing to do with the overall gang war of Mos Espa. It was simply a bridge to (we assume) the desired starting point of Season 3 of The Mandalorian.

(It also led to some of the worst telegraphing. “Oh, hey, I, the Mandalorian, am now flying around in a Naboo starfighter, but the little dome area where an astromech droid used to go is now just an empty dome, so very, very empty, I wonder what will ever fill it …?”)

I’m shocked, SHOCKED, to find Grogu here!

Sigh.

This series really could have been so much more. So many of the elements are beautiful. The Tuskan sequences were lovely and meaningful both for Boba and for Star Wars lore. (What? The Tuskans aren’t just blood-thirsty, superstitious wogs? Mind-blown!) So many of the figures used — the Pykes, Krssantin, Cad Bane, even call-outs to Mando bits like Cobb Vanth and Mos Pelgo and Peli Motto — were neat in and of themselves, and could have all fit into a rich Boba-focused narrative saga.

For that matter, Boba’s part of the story could have been about the conflicts he felt, his personal urges toward violence, what he learned from his time with the Tuskans, how that intersected with his vengeful motivations dating back to his father’s death, and how those drives still did (and, to his realization, didn’t) apply to the present …  maybe his growing uncertainty about his reasons for taking on the role of daimyo of Mos Espa, and how that ultimately translated into his taking on responsibility for the lives of the people there.

But the show decided, for whatever reason, to try to do too much, and too little, to show some lovely lore, and to short-circuit the character growth … and ultimately turned out to be a fun-to-watch, frustrating-to-contemplate, disappointment.

I don’t regret watching any individual element, really. But I definitely consider the series, the Book, as a whole … a fail.

Cool, but disappointing.

B5 Rewatch: 5×06 “Strange Relations”

Bester is here for the Teeps, and Lochley’s secret is finally revealed.

A-Plot: The past finally catches up with Byron and his Telepath gang cult commune, as EarthGov sends Psi Corps bloodhounds, led by Bester to apprehend them as criminals and send them back. With Sheridan trying to play nice with Alliance members (like Earth), and Lochley not having any legitimate reason to stop them (and, further, having previously had not-horrible interactions with Bester), there seems to be little way to stop it from happening.

Well, except for Lyta Alexander, who’s been helping steal liberate drugs for the Teeps, and whom Byron continues to woo to join his cult commune. She’s not your average telepath, having had her powers goosed by Kosh waaaay in the past. And, indeed, she manages to stop Bester and his goon squad at least once — but cannot reliably do so, especially when he gets his requested support from station security.

Fortunately, after Bester has captured all the teeps and is going to head back to Earth with them, Lochley pulls a deus ex bureaucratica, using a new medical regulation (from Franklin, with the toner still damp) that requires thorough examination and quarantine of any folk who have been in Unknown Space, like the vagrant teeps have been, before being allowed back on Earth. That frustrates the hell out of Bester, but assuming he still has an ally in Lochley, he’s willing to come back in sixty days to pick them up.

Lochley, in turn, while not carrying the animus against Bester that Sheridan and Garibaldi do, isn’t by any means a fan, and it’s clear that while she can’t “let” the Teeps escape B5 before Bester’s return, she will not be at all disappointed if they find a way to do so.

Babylon 5 5x06 Strange Relations - lyta close up
Sad, lonely, isolated Lyta is sad, lonely, and isolated.

But while the Telepath plot here gets solved by Lochley, it’s really Lyta’s story, and there’s a lot of heartbreaking moments as Lyta watch the teeps run down and captured, one by one, and Byron tells her he’s turning himself in to be with them, even if it means his likely death.  You can see the increasing isolation she’s under — cut off from Kosh, not a member of the Corps (despite still wearing a badge), not a member of the command team any more (and relegated to sneaking station supplies to the Teeps), but also not a member of the Teep cult colony.  In every scene, it grows more and more painful …

Until, at the very end, as Byron is reunited with his cult family, and they all sit around and sing a slightly creepy song about love and harmony and finding “a better place” …

And we will all come together in a better place
A better place than this
My love will guide you
My love will hold you
My love will show you the way
There will come a tomorrow
Where we’re free from our sorrows
And our love will show us the way
We are sister and brother
And we will all come together in a better place
A better place than this …

… she takes off her Psi Corps badge and, a bit uncomfortably, goes to Byron’s side.

This will not end well.

And it shouldn’t. Zack is already on the record thinking that Byron is going to be trouble, not because of telepath prejudice (he and Lyta had a thing going on at one point, remember?) but because Byron is so clearly aiming to be a martyr. Byron himself is clearly about one batch of Kool Aid from a self-inflicted tragedy. The guy is just so plainly manipulative that it’s terrifying seeing Lyta sucked into his orbit.

Some reviews try to complain that Byron and his cult band of merry teeps are being forced on us as heroes. I disagree, at least so far to date: I don’t trust the guy, even if he’s as sincere as a saint.

B-Plot: The Mystery of Lochley is Revealed! Delenn chats with Lochley, having been given the skinny by Sheridan the previous night, though nothing specific gets said. Lochley’s a bit peeved that Sheridan didn’t warn her, but also feels vaguely apologetic to Delenn. Meanwhile, Garibaldi is hanging out around the corner, taking notes.

But not for long, since in short order he’s in the brig, having stormed into Lochley’s office to punch Bester in the snoot — understandable (even to Lochley), but not to be allowed (even if she has to threaten the security team she summoned before they lay hands on their former boss).

In short order, she and Zack discover Garibaldi has been riffling through Lochley’s personnel files on the computer, so she goes down to his cell (quite a nice and sizeable room, to be sure) to hash it out — which annoyingly turns into Lochley answering all of Garibaldi’s questions.

She explains her chumminess with Bester from a past experience where he took out a rogue telepath who had killed two of her people (who had found out he was using his telepathy to win at gambling). And she explains that Sheridan chose her because it would be politically valuable to have an EarthForce officer who was on the “other side” in the war, but one he could trust both not to stab him in the back, disagree with him when needed, and back him up likewise.

As to how Sheridan would know that …

LOCHLEY: We met fresh out of Officer Training School. We hit it off, fell crazy in love, got married, realized we’d made a terrible mistake, fell crazy out of love, and split up. You see, in a relationship. you gotta take turns being in charge, but, we both wanted to be in charge all the time. We had arguments that could peel paint off the wall.

They remained friends and respectful of one another and knew they could trust one another.

It almost feels a little anticlimactic, esp. since the scene feels rushed and info-dumpy, and Lochley’s spilling all the beans that Garibaldi asked for comes across more as weak than reasonable.

(It also feels … unrealistic. None of her records — or his — indicate her marriage to Sheridan? The press — directly or via politicians and partisans in EarthGov —  haven’t learned about this? It’s a kind of clever idea, but it makes no sense.)

Other Bits and Bobs: Londo is shifting into the next phase of his life, preparing to return to Centauri Prime to support the ailing Regent, and anticipating becoming Emperor — the prospect of which he’s increasingly melancholy and pessimistic about.

Things get a bit more exciting when the Centauri cruiser he’s supposed to be on is destroyed in an obvious assassination attempt. Delenn and G’kar are concerned over Londo’s safety, so Delenn decides he needs a non-Centauri bodyguard — and that G’kar is the perfect choice. The Narn is initially taken aback, but the idea of his being a necessary part of the Centauri court tickles his funny-bone, and by the end Londo and G’kar are heading off the Centauri homeworld, bickering about who gets the aisle seat.

Meanwhile, the criminally-underused Franklin is given by the writer the Alliance a new side gig: research head for medical care of Alliance species, with an emphasis on diseases and the like that can jump to other species. It’s actually a good tie-in to some of his original research (which he dumped when he learned that EarthForce was going to use it for bio-weapons). And it means he’ll get more opportunities to do something in the show than hang out in MedLab and look distressed.

Meanwhile:  So JMS briefly belonged to a religious cult/commune when he was in his early 20s, after escaping an extremely abusive and isolating household. A lot of that experience feeds into the Byron / Lyta / Telepath saga — Byron as charismatic leader, the group behavior, even the song they sing.

babylon 5 5x06 Strange Relations - byron homecoming
No, nothing at all creepy or cult-like here.

And knowing that makes it clear that there will be no happy ending here, for anyone — we know that Psi Corps is awful, and Bester a nasty piece of work, but in his own way Byron is as manipulative as the Psi Cop, and his band of teeps is as much a trap as the Corps.

Babylon 5 5x06 Strange Relations - byron
The only question with someone like Byron is how many of his followers he’ll take down with him.

I can’t let a Bester episode go by without commenting on Bester. He is his usual maddening self — gentile and oh-so-pleasant sharing jokes and tea with Lochley, snarky and smirking whenever he knows he has the upper hand (and wants to rub it in), and, at a few moments, almost desperately eager in wanting to take Byron in and being told he can’t (yet).

Babylon 5 5x06 Strange Relations - bester
Don’t you (like Garibaldi) just want to punch this guy?

Bester is not Walter Koenig’s most famous role, but it should be, and any time he’s in an episode, like this one, it’s a treat.

Most Dramatic Moment: Despite the reeeeeally annoying (and creepy song), there’s a lovely moment from the director, John C Flinn, where Lyta approaches the Teep colony, and sees them with their candles and their singing and their camaraderie and family … through a plastic grid, separate and shut away from them and emphasizing for the final moment how cut-off and alone she is …

Babylon 5 5x06 Strange Relations - lyta on the outside looking in
Lyta, on the outside, looking in.

Most Amusing Moment: Lochley realizing that, with all the other things that have been going on, she’s forgotten to order Garibaldi released from holding.

LOCHLEY: I also have this nagging feeling that I’m forgetting something.

CORWIN: I’m sure you’ll figure it out. Good night, Captain.

LOCHLEY: Good night, Lieutenant. [beat] Oh no! [into link] Lochley to security.

SECURITY: [over link] Security here.

GARIBALDI: [over link] I said, let me the hell out of here! [Sound of something getting thrown]

LOCHLEY: You can release Mr. Garibaldi now.

GARIBALDI: [over link] About time.

Honorable mention to most of the dialog between Sheridan and Lochley. She still feels stiff with the other characters — trying to be the hard-ass Ivanova type in a way that Tracey Scoggins just cannot pull off with her perfect makeup and hair — but her banter with Sheridan is almost always loaded with gems that are delivered neatly.

SHERIDAN: I’m caught in a web of my own good intentions.

LOCHLEY: Well, the road to hell is paved with them, sir.

SHERIDAN: I know, but why does it have to go through this office?

Or, as Lochley’s explaining why, legally, she has to cooperate with Bester:

LOCHLEY: How am I doing do far?

SHERIDAN: Annoyingly logical.

LOCHLEY: Thank you.

SHERIDAN: It wasn’t a compliment.

Most Arc-ish Moment: Londo has a chat with Zack. The security chief doesn’t understand why Londo is moping about — being emperor sounds like a sweet gig. But Londo has forebodings, both from Centauri premonitions about the future, and from family history — he will be the second Mollari to be emperor, and that one ended badly, too.

babylon 5 5x06 Strange Relations - londo and zack
“This is where it begins to go bad for all of us.”

Knowing what’s coming, he’s not wrong. But even on first watch, it was easy to remember the threads — Londo’s premonition of his death at G’kar’s hands, the flash-forward Sheridan had about him and Delenn being held captive by the Centauri, and, of course, the creepy Shadow stuff going on in the palace.

Yeah, this is where it all starts to go bad for Londo … and everyone in his orbit.

Overall Rating: 4.3 of 5.0 — After two episodes that were largely filler (entertaining in their own way, but still not really progressing anything), we finally get some plot movement around the Telepaths, the Alliance, and an array of personal stories. It’s the best episode of the season so far.

(Rating History)

Other Resources for this episode:

Previous episode: 5×05 “Learning Curve”

Next episode: 5×07 “Secrets of the Soul” – Hot telepath sex, not-so-hot telepath origins, and aliens who are (gasp) keeping secrets

Reposted on Pluspora.

B5 Rewatch: 5×05 “Learning Curve”

Wherein we learn more about being a Ranger, none of which is pleasant

A-Plot: A delegation from the Rangers goes from Minbar to B5 to chat with Delenn, the Entil-zha. Two of them are older gents, instructors — Turval, from the religious caste, and Durhan, of the warrior caste — and they bring with them two trainees, Tannier from the religious and Rathenn from the warriors.

Along the way, they get entangled with a new gang boss in DownBelow, Trace. The New Boss has Big Plans, and he’s doing some demonstration killings to show people who’s in charge.

Babylon 5 5x05 Learning Curve - Trace
Bullying Gang Boss Leader is a Bully

Unfortunately (for all concerned), recruit Tannier gets involved in one of Trace’s incidents — and ends up being seriously curb-stomped as another demonstration. That leads to Delenn taking the whole matter away from Zack and station security, and handling it via the Rangers. “Those who harmed him,” she tells Lochley, “now have power over him. He must take back that power, or he will never be whole again.”

Tannier, barely back on his feet, is given a chance to duke it out solo with an increasingly panicked New Boss. The recruit ends up taking the guy apart, resolving both the New Boss problem and giving Tannier back the self-respect and self-control he’ll need as a Ranger.

DURHAN: Where is your fear now, Tannier?

TANNIER: Gone, Master.

TURVAL: And what do you feel? Anger? Do you feel triumphant? Happiness? Joy?

TANNIER: Pity.

DURHAN: Why?

TANNIER: Because this is all he will ever have and all he will ever know. Because his name will be swallowed by silence. Forgotten. His name belongs to no one.

TURVAL: And who does your name belong to? History? The world?

TANNIER: No. It belongs to me.

And then we get some neat little bows, and Security moves in to clean up the mess.

Babylon 5 5x05 Learning Curve - post fight bow
“Don’t mind me, I just beat up this dude who beat me up.”

There’s a lot of this that seems to play well, if a bit preachy. On reflection, it does make the Rangers seem a bit more, um, cult-like, and with a fondness for violence as a way of resolving problems. That is, in part, their remit, but it’s also an extension of, as Garibaldi later comments, Minbari inability to back down from a righteous fight.

That these are the guys who are running interstellar security and espionage for the Alliance is both comforting and uncomfortable.

B-Plot: The Mystery of Lochley Continues!  Garibaldi is obsessing over the station’s new captain, her past, and which side she fought on in the Civil War.

This leads to a blow-up between the two (with a very uncomfortable Zack sitting by), where Lochley ends up not-confessing that, yeah, she was loyal to Earthforce, because she believed in the chain of command, she wanted to keep her crew safe, and she wasn’t ordered to do something she couldn’t in good conscience do.

LOCHLEY: I am a soldier, Mr. Garibaldi, and as such my vocabulary is rather limited. I only really understand three words: loyalty, duty, honor. If I did it your way, one of those would have to go … and then the other two would become meaningless. Just like this conversation. Good day.

That hardly satisfies Garibaldi, esp. since it reinforces the question of why Sheridan would have picked her for the job.

(Parenthetical note: some poor direction or editing  here: In some parts of the scene, the crowd in the cafeteria is definitely hanging on every word Lochley says as she and Garibaldi get into it, complete with applause when she leaves; but in the main shot when she’s saying it, everyone in the background is just chit-chatting amongst themselves.)

While the scene is a little clumsy and rushed, it’s a solid, legitimate argument against what Sheridan & Co. did. JMS plays fair with both sides — which is fine, now, but back actually during the Civil War, a lot of comments were made that “just obeying orders” or “the military can’t set political policy” were treated as weaselly, if not evil. Turning around and treating Lochley’s “as long as I don’t get ask to commit war crimes, it’s not my place to interfere” as something we want to hear our protagonist saying needs a little bit more explanation at this point.

In a later scene, Lochley mentions something in passing that Delenn picks up on as indicating that she’s known Sheridan in the past. And the final scene of the episode has Delenn and Sheridan in bed that night, discussing the matter (or having discussed the matter) — with Delenn on the far side of the mattress, her back turned to him …

DELENN: I’m going to pretend that you were going to tell me this sooner or later.

SHERIDAN: I was just looking for the right time.

DELENN: Ten seconds after you thought of it would have been good.

SHERIDAN: Yeah. Yeah, maybe so.

What “this” is will remain a mystery until next episode.

Other Bits and Bobs: Garibaldi is beginning to work with Byron’s telepaths, though they seem unenthused (or perhaps just disdainful of Garibaldi and the other nats).

He’s also beginning to butt heads with Zack. There’s still a mentor/mentee and even old friends aspect to their relationship, but Garibaldi doesn’t want to listen to Zack, and there are hints here that he’s accessing station security info that Zack doesn’t approve of.

Meanwhile:  This episode has one of the rare cases of an actor who played two significant (and not heavily made-up) characters: Turhan Bey, who not only plays the Religious Caste Ranger Instructor Turval here, but back in S.2 played the Centauri Emperor Turhan.  This was his last credited role before his death a few years later.

In the script book, JMS recounts how a lot of this episode was driven by the curb-stomping he received when he was young, and at a time when he just got booted out of the cult he’d fallen into. A lot of the “face your fear” stuff here seems to come from this incident, even if Joe never got a chance to beat the shit out of his attacker while his colleagues stood around and applauded.

(His letting the remaining anger about that incident drive this episode is one of the reasons he feels it’s so weak.)

Most Dramatic Moment: Yeah, probably Lochley’s “Loyalty, Duty, Honor” speech to Garibaldi.

Honorable Mention to the cool dismantling of the retreating gang as they seek to escape their level of DownBelow, with thugs being picked off from the front and rear and dragged into the shadows by the Rangers.  Not only is it creepy, but when the (mostly Minbari) Rangers in the shadows finally become visible in the dim down-lighting, they look positively satanic.

(The whole incident is scary — while the Mora’Dum, the “Application of Terror,” is meant to be about a Ranger overcoming their own terror, Trace, the New Boss, is clearly terrified by the whole matter, too.)

Most Amusing Moment: Gotta be the final scene there between Sheridan and Delenn.

Babylon 5 5x05 Learning Curve - Sheridan and Delenn
Sheridan faces the No Win Scenario

Honorary Mention to: One of the new cross-species Ranger recruits is a Pak’ma’ra — who refuses to learn new languages, and whose dietary habits make it difficult to house him with the other Rangers.

Delenn figures out that the ubiquity of the Pakmara (and the fact that nobody wants to pay any attention to them) makes them perfect couriers for the Rangers, turning lemons into lemonade.

Most Arc-ish Moment: This episode is 98% arc-free, but there is one intriguing moment where Delenn and Turval are chatting, and he mentions how Lennier, now at Ranger Camp (though unseen in the episode) is not tackling training in a healthy fashion, driving himself to the breaking point.

Delenn, of course, knows why, but it’s not like she can talk much about it. She just asks Turval to watch over him.

It might have made this episode a lot better — and a lot more on-point — if we’d gotten Lennier rather than Tennier as one of the visiting apprentice Rangers.

Overall Rating: 3.5 of 5.0 — This episode is … kind of a waste of time, in an otherwise crowded season.  There’s some minor progress on side fronts, but with Londo, G’kar, and the Telepaths all MIA, there’s just not that much there there, though what’s there is entertaining. It’s hardly a bad episode in and of itself — it just feels like an unnecessary one. Its problem is strategic (where it shows up in the series and what it does there) more than tactical (the show itself).

That’s not just my opinion. JMS has commented, “There are some stories you tell that you look back at later and wonder, what the hell was I thinking?” Between not having a core-character-focused story (after the previous not-a-core-character-focused story), and using yet another interchangeable violent crime guy trying to take over the gangs, Joe opines he would just as soon this episode vanish softly and silently away.

(Rating History)

Other Resources for this episode:

Previous episode: 5×04 “A View from the Gallery”

Next episode: 5×06 “Strange Relations” – Telepaths! Psi-Corps! Assassinations! Divorces! Finally, some chewy arc bits!

Reposted on Pluspora.

B5 Rewatch: 5×04 “A View from the Gallery”

An unusual slice-of-life episode, as epic events and characters are observed by … B5 janitors

A-Plot: The focus in this episode are the two floating maintenance workers, Mack and Bo. The former is salt-of-the-earth building super, always with a wry quip about the little guy. The latter is also grounded, but has a little bit bigger perspective.

Over the course of the episode they have chances to observe — and comment to each other about — each of the major characters, and their relationships. It’s actually feels still part of the TNT reintroduction of the series, since there’s both a lot of show and a lot of tell.

Babylon 5 5x04 View Gallery - Bo and Mack
Bo and Mack

Beyond observation, there are two parts of this plot. First, there’s the sense that the little guys (like Mack and Bo) never get paid attention to by the big guys. They’re the set changers in a kabuki play, invisible except when someone has a complaint. On the flip side, there’s also the idea that the little guys look for something more consequential than their work life. Bo, in particular, envies the snazzy Star Fury pilots out there, dogfighting their ways to glory.

So Byron (whilst they’re hunkering down with the teeps in Brown Sector) links Bo up to one of the pilots — initially terrifying, then exciting, then …

Babylon 5 5x04 View Gallery - Bo as pilot
Bo suddenly seeing himself as a Starfury pilot

The vision is interrupted — but it’s a taste of a life he never had, never really grasped, making him both more respectful of the pilots and more glad of the role he gets to play on a daily basis.

A third aspect to this part of the plot is that, even as we see the little guys both feeling rare bits of appreciation and even a little adventure, we also get to observe how they see through the facade of heroism, up-close. Delenn and Sheridan’s love.  Lochley’s fierceness. Franklin’s pain. G’Kar and Londo’s ties that bind. The telepaths’ humanity. It feel a bit stagey at times, but it still manages to work.

B-Plot: There’s a fleet of evil aliens looking to invade B5’s sector — let’s call them the McGuffins, because in the end who they are and what motivates them isn’t important, and they’ll never be seen again. Anyway, the station knows they’re on the way because of the Gaim. B5 has to give them, at the least, a bloody nose to teach them not to move along to another sector.

Lochley is facing her first big military challenge. B5 is a formidable force, but with the White Star fleet away (see last episode), they’re vulnerable.

Sheridan is facing the reality of not being in charge of the station any longer, but still wanting to see Delenn protected. Delenn, on the other hand, isn’t going to be the damsel locked in the tower for protection.

Garibaldi is fighting for his job, having both gotten the initial Gaim intel, but also missing out on some key strengths of the bad guys. He’s also paranoid about Lochley, trying to pin down on what side she fought during the Civil War.

Franklin is prepping for the big battle, to receive casualties both from B5 and the attacking aliens. When Bo asks why he’s willing to save aliens there to kill them, he exposits some backstory about how his own father (who visited the station in 2×10 “GROPOS”) had his life saved by an enemy doctor, inspiring Franklin to go into medicine himself.

Londo and G’Kar are in shelter, bickering, but also giving us a few glimpses at themselves through their origins. G’Kar grew up in bomb shelters, barely protected from the Centauri bombings, always eventually coming back out into the sun. Londo, on the other hand, was always saddled with layers of noble duty — he never grew up, as G’Kar put it, only grew old.

(That insight will inform the rest of the season, as G’Kar blossoms in the sunlight of freedom, and Londo becomes ever more burdened by his destiny and his duty. More on this below.)

Byron is protecting and honing his people, quoting Shakespeare (again), but still being moved enough by humanity to help Bo make the connection he’s looking for.

Ultimately, the McGuffins are defeated, thanks to a deus ex White Star return of the fleet to trounce them. The command crew are wearied but satisfied with their jobs. Sheridan and Delenn can bill and coo. And Franklin gets stuck signing the death certificates.

The B-plot, in the end, isn’t meaningful, except to advance its entwined A-plot. It would have been nice to have thrown in some plot development in what’s been a slow start to a busy season, but …

Other Bits and Bobs:

Meanwhile: JMS has noted that Mack was modeled somewhat after Harlan Ellison, who had been pestering him the entire series about doing an episode from the perspective of “the little people.” Ellison gets a story credit on this episode.

Most Dramatic Moment: Franklin, having already talked about his desire to go out and find any lives he save after the battle … ends up the episode tagging corpses overflowing out into the hallways.

Babylon 5 5x04 View Gallery - Franklin morgue
You think Mack and Bo have it tough?

As Mack starts saying in complaint to Bo, “They get all the glory, we get all the mess. Well, maybe not all the mess.”

Most Amusing Moment: Mack and Bo exchange any number of amusing quips, not even counting their interactions with the series protagonists, but the best has to come as Londo and G’Kar, after lengthy bickering, kvetching, and kvelling, wander off …

Londo: [uncomfortably] I think I will see how things are going out there.

G’Kar: I’ll go too. Good idea.

Londo: What, are you afraid I won’t come back, G’Kar?

G’Kar: No, afraid you will. [They walk off.]

Mack: [to Bo] So, how long you figure they’ve been married?

Amusing, but insightful. The two are bound, if not by oaths of love, by deeper strands of destiny and personality. There are times when it seems that B5 is actually a show about those two aliens, and, even if it’s not true, it’s still close to being so.

Honorable mention to Delenn arguing Mack and Bo out of escorting her to an escape pod at Sheridan’s orders.  It may be Sinclair who studied from the Jesuits, but he instilled some of that into the Minbari generations ago, and Delenn has learned her lesson well.

Most Arc-ish Moment: Much of this episode is throw-away regarding arc, but the interaction between Londo and G’Kar and their mutual childhoods is both foundational and predictive of where things are going for the two of them.

G’Kar: Ah, that explains a great deal.

Londo: Really? And what exactly does it explain, G’Kar?

G’Kar: I spent my years in one shelter after another, but sooner or later, I was able to leave the shelter and walk out into the daylight. You do not have that luxury. You carry your shelter with you. Every day. You did not grow up, you grew old.

Babylon 5 5x04 View Gallery - Mack Bo reading
Mack and Bo in the raid shelter, enjoying some time off.

Overall Rating: 4.1 of 5.0 –My son, who’s always had a love-hate relationship with (his dad forcing him to watch) B5, opined, as the credits rolled, that he’d be happy to watch B5 in the future if every ep was like this.

I think this comes mainly from that human, non-epic, un-pompous note to it. Even though some of the dialog from JMS feels a bit — elaborate and heavy, even from Mac and Bo — it’s still much more of a grounded episode, reflecting not just the legendary heroes (and villains), but the little guys who get whipped up into their wakes.

We’ve seen B5 from other perspectives in the past — but that was the news media, friendly and un-. Mack and Bo, even if a bit too precious and wise at times, still give us an everyman’s perspective on life on B5 that’s too often missing in the sturm und drang of galaxy-shaking drama.

(Rating History)

Other Resources for this episode:

Previous episode: 5×03 “The Paragon of Animals”

Next episode: 5×05 “Learning Curve” – No janitors, just Ranger trainees, going toe-to-toe with a new gangster chief on B5. Oooookay.

Reposted on Pluspora.

The Bestest Toaster Ever

In which I wax lyrical over a kitchen appliance, which turns out to be pretty special.

When I was growing up, I was jealous of the toasters other people had. Because when the toast was done, they went SPROING and flew the toast up practically into the air. Or actually into the air, if you were on TV.

Toaster popping
I thought this was sooooo cool.

(It’s such a popular gag that you can find at least three other scenes from I Love Lucy using it.)

Our toaster, however, didn’t do that fun thing. It went “Click,” and the toast slowly, slowly rose. How boring.

Over the years, I came to value our family toaster for its clean, classy look (and, at the same time, stopped actually wanting to use my toaster as a projectile weapon). And at some point in my life, after I was on my own, I bought one.

Which wasn’t easy, because it was, y’know, vintage in some fashion. They didn’t make them any more. So I ended up buying one on (if I recall correctly) eBay. And, when it arrived, mirabile dictu, it actually worked.

And Margie got used to my peculiar toaster, and it looked pretty on the counter, and that was the end of the story.

Except … it wasn’t. Because it’s not just any toaster, it turns out. It’s a Sunbeam Radiant Control Toaster, first invented in 1949, and according to this article, it’s the Bestest Toaster Ever.

Sunbeam Radiant Control Toaster advert 1952
Advertisement from 1952

Or, heck, watch this video, that talks about not just how it’s the Bestest Toaster Ever, but how all the really cool stuff works:

Or read this honest-to-God fan site for the toaster, lovingly crafted in Microsoft FrontPage.

Or, heck, learn how one of these beauties was the first commercial kitchen appliance connected to the Internet.

Okay, I’m convinced. It’s the Bestest Toaster Ever.

As for my particular model, it’s a T-20C, manufactured between 1957-58. It has the art deco etching on the front, which only the original T-20 models did.

Sunbeam Radiant Control Toaster T-20C
Sunbeam Radiant Control Toaster T-20C, on our clearly crowded kitchen counter.

I believe my parents had a T-35, which had the yellow Sunbeam logo on the front, and the darkness dial on the side, but no etching. It was made 1958-1967, which would line up neatly with being a wedding present.

Sunbeam Radiant Control Toaster T-35
A T-35 like I grew up with (photo via automaticbeyondbelief.org)

Sunbeam stopped making these beauties in the late 1980s, as they were simply more complex and expensive to manufacture than those ones that were so popular on TV.

toaster popping
And, unlike normal toasters, mine isn’t scary, either. Unless you start poking a knife into it WHICH YOU SHOULD NEVER DO OR YOU WILL DIE.

All of this was a lot of time to write about a toaster, even if it’s the Bestest Toaster Ever (or even “Automatic Beyond Belief!”). But it is pretty spiffy, and evocative of my childhood (and adulthood), so … perfect for today.

Do you want to know more?

My Movie-Watching Year in Review (2021 Edition)

Not a lot of theater-going, but an MCU rewatch helped the numbers

While I managed to get back into the theaters for part of 2020, overall film watching still took a hit from normal. This was the year that we got much more into streaming, though we still maintain a healthy DVD/Blu-Ray collection. For 2021, I recorded in Letterboxd:

44 movies watched.
14 movies watched for the first time.
3 movies watched in a movie theater.
30 movies rewatched.
40 movies liked. ❤
24 movies (re)watched from the Marvel Cinematic Universe

So MCU flicks made up over half the movies watched, both rewatches and new releases.

Highest Ranking movies watched:
5.0 – Fellowship of the Ring
4.5 – Howl’s Moving Castle
4.5 – The Avengers
4.5 – Captain America: Winter Soldier
4.5 – The Death of Stalin
4.5 – Sneakers
4.5 – Black Panther
4.5 – Ant-Man and the Wasp
4.5 – Ice Station Zebra

Lowest Ranking:
3.0 – Iron Man 3
3.0 – Thunder Force
3.0 – Aquaman
3.0 – Conan the Barbarian

Month with the Most Movies Seen: April (8)
Months without Movies: February, August

Hoping I’ll see more movies like this in 2021.

My Book-Reading Year in Review (2021 Edition)

I read a fair amount this year, though less than usual.

The good news is, I keep track of the books I read at Goodreads.com.

The bad news is, I don’t always do a good job of it, though, especially when it comes to graphic novels, because those read so relatively quickly. So I know when Goodreads says I read 56 books this year, that’s arguably inaccurate.

Still, here’s my Annual Report from Goodreads.

Reading The overall numbers are down from the past — I get into the non-fiction books below, but from a fiction standpoint, not being in the office, I didn’t as regularly take my lunchtime walk as I have previously. My bad.

Much of the year was spent re-reading / catching up on favorite book series. Two new (disappointing) installments were added to Cole & Bunch’s Sten series. I caught completely up with Gail Carriger’s various steampunk romances, as well as Jack Campbell’s Lost Fleet space opera multi-series. I also caught up with the latest Charles Stross Laundry titles, and read some more Terry Pratchett (though not as much as he deserves).

From a new series standpoint, not much beyond discovering Seanan McGuire’s InCryptid series, an urban fantasy (even when in the countryside) about a family of Buffy the Vampire Slayers who are also conservationists and cryptozoologists. It’s pretty cheap fun, nice world building, and I’ll be plowing through many more of them in the New Year.

Goodreads (and my Kindle) rank things from 1-5 stars. Only three books earned that rating from me this year (with links to my reviews):

(I didn’t review HtMaW beyond the rating — I think it just hit all the notes right for what it was.)

Most of what I read-read was fiction. Non-fiction works completed were few on the ground, largely because the COVID Pandemic continued to impact both my commuting to work and longer-range driving during which I usually listen to such things.

Anyway, for the record, there it all is.

Movie Review: “Fellowship of the Ring” again (2001)

Twenty years later, I still love these movies, especially the first one.

Twenty years ago started three of the greatest Christmases ever. Yeah, there was family, and food, and presents. But there was also, year after year, a new Lord of the Rings movie.

Holiday planning in that era always sounded like (from my perspective), “Okay, we arrive in California on Thursday … Christmas is Saturday … so can we sneak off to a matinee of the next LotR movie on Friday, or do we have to wait all the way to Sunday?”

This year marks the 20th Anniversary of Peter Jackson’s Fellowship of the Ring, the best, for my money, of the LotR trilogy. I mean, all three of them are good, but FotR hews closest to the original, and tells the best story.

Fellowship of the Ring poster

I’ve reviewed the movie six times, but I want to highlight my latest thoughts, twenty years on. I love so much about this film — the visualization of Middle-Earth, Howard Shore’s stunning soundtrack, the faithfulness of the adaptation (with trade-offs to keep the movie flowing forward yet stay within the three hour range — a sad wave to both Tom Bombadil and the Barrow Downs). This particular review, I wanted to focus on one particular aspect: the second bananas.

The LotR trilogy has a remarkably solid core cast. Elijah Wood gives us a Christ-like Frodo, evolving from care-free hobbit teenager (equivalent) to increasingly tormented Ring-bearer, to post-war vet who can’t find his place back in the Real World (but fortunately has another world he can move to). Ian McKellen’s Gandalf is equal parts avuncular uncle, force of nature, and leader who’s read too many prophecies and knows too much of what’s really going on to be honest or comfortable. Viggo Mortenson’s Aragorn is the surprisingly reluctant hero with an inferiority complex (likely after having had his foster father rag on him for decade about how weak humans are). Orlando Bloom’s otherworldly Legolas, John Rhys-Davies unfortunately humorous Gimli, Sean Astin’s stalwart Samwise, Dominic Monaghan’s semi-responsible Merry, Billy Boyd’s utterly irresponsible Pippin — all are an excellent core that carry the trilogy forward movie by movie.

Fellowship of the Ring
The Fellowship

But one of the real powers of the trilogy, as seen in this first film, is the quality of the supporting cast, the next tier who aren’t the focus of the story, but who bring a powerful richness to it.

Ian Holm (Bilbo) has such great moments as doddering fool, twisted Ring-bearer, and ingratiating friend. He adds backstory texture to the tale, demonstrates early on the corrupting power of the Ring, and foreshadows the tragedy that Frodo will face. Thank God Jackson didn’t do a Lucas and try to CG-retrofit Martin Freeman (also a great Bilbo in the The Hobbit films) into the original films.

LotR Ian Holm - Bilbo
Ian Holm as Bilbo Baggins, careening between charming and very scary.

Hugo Weaving (Elrond) has the tragic pathos and elvish ego to be utterly believable as a leader who bears the bittersweet realization the strength of the elves to stand down their ancient foe Sauron is passed, and in being the SOB/sympathy parent toward Arwen in her doomed relationship with that feckless human, Aragorn.

LotR Hugo Weaving Elrond
Hugo Weaving as Elrond, who always looks like he has a terrible headache.

Cate Blanchett (Galadriel) is equal parts tragedy, wisdom, and spookiness as the greatest of elves remaining  in the mortal lands of Middle Earth. As the narrator of the film (not the original concept, surprisingly enough), she provides a perspective and insight and sorrow to the whole proceeding. A lot of it is camera angle, slow-mo, and background music, but Blanchett’s distinctive, earthy beauty and smile play such a role.

LotR Cate Blanchett Galadriel
Cate Blanchett as Galadriel, mysterious, charming, tragic

Christopher Lee (Saruman) is certainly a villain. But he’s a whole-hearted one, and you can see where he’s been corrupted/seduced by Saruman, with the threat that if the most powerful wizard in Middle Earth can be so turned, what chance does anyone else have. Given that the other opponents in the film are scary, voiceless creations (Sauron, the Nazgul, the Balrog), Saruman becomes the able spokesperson for the bad guys. I regret losing his “I want to be a Third Power” subplot from the books, but Lee’s scenery-chewing largely makes up for it.

(Lee apparently really wanted to play Gandalf, and I’d love to visit that alternate reality — but I’m glad I live in this one.)

LotR Christopher Lee Saruman palantir
Christopher Lee as Saruman, who “delved too deeply” into the Palantir of Orthanc

But best of all, as I always conclude, is Sean Bean (Boromir), given a role much more sympathetic, less egotistical, than Tolkien provided his character. Boromir’s vice is his virtue: his caring for others, his willingness to sacrifice all in a monomania to protect those in his charge. He’s mentor and protector of Merry & Pippin, drilling them in combat, advocating for them on the ascent of Caradhras. He’s the man of action and protection, running to the door at Balin’s tomb, to see the approaching orcs (and cave troll), and grabbing Frodo when he’d run back to Gandalf at the Bridge of Khazad-Dum, and restraining Gimli from re-entering the Mines. He’s the voice of compassion as everyone mourns Gandalf’s death. Time and again, he’s the hero always at the fore, less cerebral and strategic than Aragorn, dealing with the immediate needs of his people and his cause … and, ultimately, he cares too much to not fall into the Ring’s seductive trap of power, or — once he needs to redeem himself — to survive the experience.

Tolkien’s Boromir is kind of a dick, if ultimately valorous. Jackson/Bean’s Boromir is the guy who really should be the hero of the story, and falls just short of the goal.

LotR Sean Bean Boromir hobbits
Sean Bean as Boromir, wrassling with Merry and Pippin, because he’s a cool guy and wants to protect the weak.

A 20th Anniversary view of FotR is a splendid way to spend an evening. To my son’s dismay, I’m willing to wait a year (as I did in 2001-2002) to rewatch The Two Towers.

Trailers before “Eternals”

A couple of things I’m interested in, plus an annoying non-movie advert.

I always fine fascinating the question of what’s advertising before which film.

  • House of Gucci — Gee, a shame they couldn’t find any decent names for this film. But seriously, this is definitely a movie I will not be seeing, but I very much look forward to reading all the articles about it and the story behind it.
  • Clifford the Big Red Dog — I will likely not go because it is waaaaay too cute, but it looks like a great film for the kids. Even if it doesn’t have The Song.
  • Morbius — Never one of my go-tos in Spider-Man’s rogues gallery, but this looks nicely dark and creepy. Unlikely to go, as it’s not my wife’s cuppa, but it’s definitely a fresh, horror-tinged leaning into that tormented anti-hero vibe. Better than, alas …
  • The Batman — I confess I am sooooooo tired of Batman as tormented, anti-hero, insane, vengeance machine, out-grim-grittying-teeth-grinding each previous version in some weird attempt to turn him into an actual villain. Frankly, I think the trend has been out of control since Batman: The Animated Series wrapped up. So, no, I don’t think I’ll be going.
  • Sing 2 — I did not see the first one, but, damn, if this ad doesn’t make me want to see this one.
  • [Regal Theaters … why the hell is there a freaking crypto.com commercial in the middle of my movie previews? Also, “Fortune Favors the Brave” is not an investment strategy, no matter how buff Matt Damon looks.]
  • The King’s Man — Same ad as we saw last going. Looks fun, more so than the original Millar outing.
  • Encanto — I feel a bit like I am seeing the entire movie, bit by bit, as Disney keeps revising the commercials. But … I will still probably go, because it looks soooooo good.

Coming Soon

Movie Review: “Eternals” (2021)

While imperfect, the questions raised and the focus on people, not powers, impressed me

No Spoilers, Sweetie

So, bottom line: I liked Eternals.

Not get-the-tatoo loved it, though there there were parts that I loved. But I had a very fine time for my money in the theater, and have no regrets over time or money.

The Good

For my money, this is one of the most thoughtful, and thought-provoking, films in the MCU. While other super-hero tales have given us moral quandaries, they’ve often been pretty binary “hero’s choices” — do I save X or Y; do I meet my date or stop the bank robbery; do I stomp the bad guy or save the falling plane?

The issues the Eternals deal with are existential ones, with questions of loyalty and love, of purpose, of destiny and pre-destiny, duty, of sacrifice, of service to God, service to humanity, service to family (or families).

While there are structural and other aspects of the film that blunt some of those questions, they are very real, and they get dealt with in different (sometimes very different) ways by different characters.

Remember how Captain America: Civil War felt a bit facile in how it teed up the superhero vs superhero conflict? This movie doesn’t. The decisions made (and sometimes regretted) are organic to the characters and their situations. This movie will always have a special place for me because of that.

This film has plenty of action and adventure, but for the most part it avoids two overdone cliches in MCU movies:

  1. disaster porn of cities turned into rubble in the course of super-hero villain battles
  2. giant climactic battles of Our Hero(es) vs hordes of CGI villains.
Or, y’know, both

While there is a Major Threat to Humanity that gets dealt with, ultimately the final conflicts in the film are driven not how many CGI baddies can we pew-pew to pieces, but by those moral questions above, and how the characters reacted to them.

This is a movie primarily about people, not a movie about powers.

The movie is visually lovely, both in terms of a global span of settings, and regarding some set pieces that were truly awe-inspiring.

Also on the visual side of things, given their common origins (if differing specialties), I appreciated the common motifs in their powers and technology. There was sufficient commonality to understand the ties between the characters, but enough distinction to appreciate their differences.

Thena weaponry
Thena gets all the flashy stuff, but all the Eternals’ tech / power expresses in these gold threads and circles

“I did not see that coming,” I thought to myself a good half-dozen times in the film. There are a lot of unexpected twists, most of them quite good. It is a much less linear film than a lot of the MCU.

People emote in this film. People emote a lot. Strong men cry. So do strong women. I am sure that really bugged some of the folk decrying this film, but, again, people not powers.

The Not-So-Good

This movie ramps up very slowly, and ramps down very slowly.

We get a lot of exposition starting off, lots and lots, with tons of flashbacks spanning human history, and then, once we start getting some stakes going, it takes a loooong time to get the band back together.

The individual pieces are done well, and it’s understandable the amount of time things take, given the scope of what we’re addressing, but it feels slow; I was really wondering at points how they were going to end all this, given the time they were taking setting it up. (That they were able to run to 2:37 is a big reason for this — and, since I usually complain about films being cut too short, I suppose I shouldn’t complain much here.)

(My wife, on the other hand, thought it was all well-handled to provide info on all the characters involved. So there’s that.)

On the tail end, we have a long set of denouements, many of them very talkie, some of them very hand-wavy in terms of addressing loose ends. I don’t know what I would necessarily cut there, but I was feeling a bit impatient.

In-between, being something brand-new in the MCU (and, honestly, brand-new in general, as much of this doesn’t follow anything related to Jack Kirby’s Eternals) ends up requiring several pallets of exposition to be dropped in at various times, especially as the protagonists learn things that have been hidden from them or that contrast with earlier infodumps. While interesting, and individually handled decently, it sometimes made things drag.

There are two mid/post-credit scenes, for those wondering if you need to run to the bathroom. Unfortunately, those feel very tacked on, and introduce three MCU characters for future consumption. I was not a fan of any of the introductions, to be honest. I’ll talk more about them in post-spoilers days.

While the Eternals cast is more diverse, the Celestials all kind of looked alike.

Kirby's Celestials
Kirby’s Celestials

As a side note, my wife noted that it was really awkward when the various Eternals hug each other, because their shoulder pads always get in the way.

The Okay

This movie has a huge ensemble — ten members of the Eternals, plus supporting players. It’s impossible to give them all equal time, let alone the time each deserves.

That said, the movie does a decent job of it. There’s a distinct narrative focus on Sersi, with narrative rings circling around her, getting their various turns. While I could use a lot more of practically everyone, most of the characters do get moments in the sun that help us to know them and appreciate them.

Cover of Eternals #1
Rather understated, don’t you think?

As noted, this is not Jack Kirby’s Eternals, but core themes — the Van Danikenesque space gods and super-heroic basis for myths, the names and themes of the individuals, etc. — remain in place. Frankly, I’m fine with that. Kirby’s imagination was amazing, but his writing was full of bombast makes Shakespeare feel subdued.

FWIW, I don’t think Kirby would have had a problem with this film. Indeed, I think it would have inspired him to write a dozen new crazy comics.

The actual origins of the Eternals was significantly shifted from the comics, something I felt disappointment about when it got shoved in my face during the initial screen text. But what was devised in its place successfully drove the rest of the plot, so I’m good with it..

Another non-Kirby aspect I’m fine with is the diversity of the cast. As reference, here’s how they looked back in the day:

Kirby's Eternals
Makkari, Thena, Kro, Sersi, Ikarus’ girlfriend Margo, and Ikarus.

Lots of pasty-white (except for the one Deviant there). The same was true for pretty much all the main Eternals cast in Kirby’s day. Most of them men, too, except Thena and Sersi.

Whereas the movie gives us lots of strong women who aren’t dressed in bathing suits. Lots of races and ethnicities, as would be appropriate for beings set forth to interact with the breadth of humanity. Even (gasp) non-het sexual orientation.

Eternals Cast
Kingo, Makkari, Gilgamesh, Thena, Ikaris, Ajak, Sersi, Sprite, Phastos, Druig

None of it felt forced, or weird, or clashing with the original in context of the story. Yet sooooo many fanbois are outraged by these changes. Wonder why?

(In my opinion, if it pisses off Russia and the Middle East, that’s probably a good thing.)

This is the true kick-off of the Cosmic phase of the MCU, as show in both the very nature of this film and its tales of the Celestials and their shenanigans, and in how things wrap up at the end (esp. that first in-credits sequence). We’ve touched a bit on that theme previously, with Captain Marvel and the Guardians of the Galaxy film, but I expect to see a lot more starscapes in the MCU future.

Knowhere
Just a reminder that the “Knowhere” space outpost in GotG is the *head of a Celestial* that is being *mined from within.* Yeesh.

That said, this movie felt oddly detached from the MCU, and its few connections felt a bit forced. It really was very much a stand-alone film, with a couple of exceptions (one of which ended up a significant feature of someone’s motivations). To be sure, my wife, not a Marvel fan, thought that was fine, eliminating the “Oh, you won’t get this if you don’t read the comics or rewatch the movies a dozen times.”

That occurring-in-a vacuum did feel a little strange to me at times, but I also largely didn’t miss it.

Net-Net

I think this movie got a lot of early dumping upon for a few reasons:

  1. Too many film critics dislike the popularity of super-hero films in general, and the MCU (egads! Disney!) in particular. Throw in an Academy-award winning director “slumming,” and their reaction is going to be particularly harsh.
  2. For the fanboi crowd, Eternals is too feeling, too morally complex, and too willing to resolve problems in ways that don’t involve fisticuffs and pew-pews. (It may also have too many strong women and too much diversity for some of their tastes.)

For me, I found those all to be strengths. I mean, I like a good rock-em sock-em, comics-faithful, simplistic-redemption-arc film as much as the next person (I maintain that the original Iron Man is one of the best supers films ever).

But this film was also refreshing, in not providing easy answers, or even easy-to-judge characters. Each of the Eternals faces difficult decisions in the movie, makes (or chooses to dodge, or changes their mind on) those decisions, and doesn’t always get it right, because big, difficult, moral decisions rarely end up with a big red or green light next to them to immediately let you know you made the right one.

Let's Make a Deal Zonk
It sometimes takes a long time to learn you picked a Zonk behind Curtain Number 3.

Eternals is by no means a perfect move. It is (if unavoidably) verbose in its setup, and dragging in its wrap-up. It handles some elements clumsily. Some characters got a short shrift. Some of it feels melodramatic at times (though Kirby would probably smile at those elements).

But it’s a good film, a great kickoff to bigger things in the MCU and maybe some more sophisticated directions, and I’m really curious as to what happens next.

(This is an expansion of my review on Letterboxd)

Eternals teaser sheet

Quotations and Memento Mori

The problem with providing bios of people say cool things is realizing when people tend to die.

So I run a (much more active) side blog, focused on quotations: WIST.info (WIST = “Wish I’d Said That”).  Quotations have been a labor of love for me for a lot of years, the close thing I have to a pure personal hobby.

A sample quotation … about quotations

I have about 3,000-odd people who I quote there, and for each I track name, birth/death date, a few words of biography, and an image. Because knowing who said something, when, and what their background is can be useful in understanding what was said. Also, I’m a history geek, so there’s that.

For the last month or so I’ve been slowly crawling through that list of quoted folk to confirm, for those of the contemporary era, if they are still alive. It’s kind of embarrassing (as an history geek) to cite someone who died five years ago with just his birth date. Unprofessional, you know.

(For the record, Wikipedia is an awesome resource for such things, and for a lot of things. I support it, and most Internet users should, too.)

Anyway, updating biography snippets to include death dates has been kind of disturbing, emotionally. I have to check everyone where I just have a birth date, no matter what it is. But I can, actuarially, make a few preliminary assumptions.

Folk born in the 1910s are almost certainly dead.

Folk born in the 1920s-30s are probably dead, but not necessarily. And not jumping to that conclusion is important, because I have a parent and a couple of in-laws that fall into that category and they are not dead and I do not want them to be, so  I keep rooting (and keep wincing).

On the other hand, folk born in the 1990s (and later) are probably not dead … but they need to be checked any, because accidents, disease, drug abuse, etc. may very well have taken such people.

And then there are people in-between. Like, oh, say, myself, born in the 1960s. A majority are not dead (yet), but a disturbingly large minority are, again due to accidents, disease, abuse, or just an “early” death.

Remember, Man, that dust thou art and to dust thou shall return.

I have not reached my Biblical three-score-years-and-ten, and an still enough below the US average (esp. given my economic bracket) that it’s not too worrisome. But being reminded by research that Things Happen, and there are famous people born later than me who have gone to join the Choir Invisible is … not reassuring.

And that I have loved ones who are on the far side of those numbers, even less so.

Memento Mori
Memento Mori – “Vanitas” by Philippe de Champaigne

One would think collecting quotations would be, like collecting stamps, an very cool and unemotional and non-risky passtime.

Apparently not.

Soooooo many people want “Eternals” to be a “disaster”

Too many critics find the MCU not to their taste, and just can’t wait for it to fail.

I haven’t read more than a paragraph (spoilers, sweetie!) of this article  lamenting the “Disaster” of Marvel’s new Eternals , but I really didn’t have to, not with this headline:

There are soooooo many Serious Critics who want Marvel (and Disney) to suffer a serious failure. It’s evident here from the very beginning of the piece.

However you may feel about the place superhero blockbusters have occupied in the cultural landscape for the past dozen-plus years …

But you know how you should feel. 

… there is something ineluctably sad about the way directing one has become the primary marker of success for a gifted emerging filmmaker. Distinguish yourself in your field, as Chloé Zhao did when she won the Best Director and Best Picture Oscars last year for her contemplative indie road movie Nomadland, and you are ceremoniously handed the keys to the Marvel car—a gigantic CGI-enhanced vehicle that can navigate black holes and shoot rays of plasma out of its headlights, but that always moves in the same direction to arrive at the same predetermined spot.

Or, to sum up the underlying sentiment, “It’s ineluctably (!) sad that brilliant indie movie creators aren’t allowed to endlessly create brilliant indie movies for the brilliant indie movie lovers. Then everyone would become a brilliant (or at least moderately intelligent) indie movie lover like we are. O tempora! O mores!”

O filmcrit snobbery. Because when you start a movie review, not with observations about the film itself, but with bewailing that a great director has been somehow lost to the Inhuman Unartistic Evil Hollywood Marvel Movie-Making Track, you’re not here to criticize the movie — you’re here to criticize the entire genre and its leading production house. For reasons.

Marvel and Disney
Yes, it’s time for another screed about Everything That’s Wrong In The Movie Industry Today.

The idea that a director is only being pure and true to the Muse if they produce brilliant, thoughtful, low-budget, award-winning cinematic masterpieces is … well, yeah, snobbery. It makes assumptions about what is worthwhile, what is pure, what is right.

If a great, award-winning chef is offered the opportunity to make a lot of money creating a family-friendly tuna casserole — no tuna eyeballs floating in sauce, no molecular gastronomic crystalline noodle essence, just tuna casserole using what’s in the pantry — I’m betting it’s going to be a kick-ass meal regardless. Maybe not a once-in-a-lifetime culinary masterpiece that people will weep that they missed in the decades that follow, but something filling and enjoyable and probably with a bit of unexpected dazzle.

Mmmm. Tuna casserole.
Is Eternals any good? Is it a tasty tuna casserole? A hearty and multi-faceted stew? Macaroni and Processed Cheez Whiz ?  I dunno. I tend to enjoy MCU movies despite the chorus from one side (as above), or the chorus from the other side (“Zack Snyder would have made it even better!”). I have tickets for next Saturday, so I’ll let you know then.

I do have reasonably good expectations, based on the MCU track record, the source material, and what I’ve seen so far. Heck, that the director won Best Director and Best Picture for her “contemplative indie road movie” seems like a good sign that it could be something really good.

As I said, I have not read the full review by Dana Stevens (I’ll save that for after seeing the film). But I suspect, just from that first paragraph, that she fundamentally dislikes the entire genre, and its conventions, and its style of story-telling, especially as packaged within a corporate franchise that isn’t going to do anything too radical or profit-endangering in its various outings. And so Zhao’s outing in Eternals gets framed as a tremendous waste of time and talent when we could have had Nomadland 2 or something.

(Stevens admits she has a bad “record” on “comic book blockbusters,” and that she really doesn’t understand the appeal of the genre, though the original Wonder Woman movie made her cry. She also brags, re Wonder Woman 1984, “Look at me over here, liking a comic book movie! Never let it be said every film on my Top 10 list is a harsh Eastern European documentary!”)

Stevens is not the only person who has expressed literary eye-rolling at the hoi polloi popularity of super-hero flicks in general, or Marvel’s installments specifically. It’s been standard fare since the earliest MCU movies came out, and went into overdrive when Marvel was bought by that other cultural bugbear, Disney — especially as such movies showed an inexplicable tendency to attract lots and lots of viewers and make lots and lots of money. That’s like red meat to some film / book / cultural critics.

Nomadland
“Eternals” is not “Nomadland.” There I said it. Wait, should it have been?

Of course, all this begs the issue of what a “good” movie is. I don’t expect Eternals to be a brilliant “contemplative indie road movie.” In fact, that’s not the entertainment I’m looking for from it. And I can say that without maligning those who enjoyed Nomadland as out-of-touch pointy-headed intellectuals who want to tempt up-and-coming directors with low-budget, contemplative film-making.

Aside from enjoying the genre, I’m intrigued with Eternals because of some of the creative challenges it has to face, with its out-of-nowhere large cast that it has to introduce and get the audience engaged with, let alone the mythos behind it.  In some ways, it’s the most ambitious MCU film yet, bypassing the slow build-up of solo films before group gatherings for a much bigger chunk of story-telling. Some few bits of feedback I’ve heard from early viewings are mixed as to whether the film pulls that off.

Beyond that, as a dyed-in-wool Marvel comics fan, I’m at least as interested in the bigger picture of how the movie, and the characters, fit into the larger MCU and the future. And I’m sure there are other folk who just want a pew-pew blow-em-up spandex Saturnalia of good-looking people fighting CGI baddies. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.

Hamlet fights Laertes
Just like that hack Shakespeare and his inevitable crowd-pandering sword fights.

Rise the chorus of folk like Stevens, who cry out, “But it’s such a waste of talent! Chloé Zhao! And money! Millions of dollars of money that could have gone to something much more important and memorable and artistic!”

But, honestly, would not have. Nomadland won Best Picture, but if every movie produced was another Nomadland, would we have a movie industry as we know it? Would Disney (would anybody) have created forty Nomadlands for the price of Eternals? It seems unlikely. Nomadland had a box office of $39M in the US, very respectable for a $5M budget.  But Shang-Chi made $90M in the US in just its first weekend; Black Widow made $80M (plus another $60M streaming).

There’s more to the cinema than money, and there should be. But there’s very little without money.

Chloe Zhao
Do we need to issue an amber alert for Chloe Zhao?

And it’s not like Disney kidnapped Chloé Zhao and locked her in a room and forced her to make Eternals. Or is the implication that she was unfairly (and “ineluctably sadly”) tempted by filthy lucre to sell out her Muse by directing such a thing? Hey, little girl — climb into the Mickey Mouse van. We have candy!

That’s actually kind of insulting to Zhao.

Not that I think she’s not at least partially into movie-making for the money, but I can’t imagine that there wasn’t something about this project that intrigued her beyond the paycheck, just as other Marvel projects have intrigued folk like Brannagh or the Russo Brothers or Coogler or Waititi.

I did flip forward to the last paragraph of the review:

Eternals’ cinematography incorporates a little more natural light and open landscape than your average Marvel joint, but the demands of a $200 million corporate enterprise ultimately prevail over any aspirations to auteurship. That’s OK—a filmmaker of Zhao’s gifts has earned the right to try her hand at what, like it or not, is one of the dominant genres of the 21st century.

Yes, “like it or not,” but also we’ve somehow flipped from Zhao being sucked into an ineluctably sad Hollywood money-making machine to her having the “right” to try her hand at it. I guess that’s … progress.

For myself, I’m going to engage with Eternals as a contemporary super-hero movie, a genre I generally enjoy, rather than demanding it to be something hitting the 2050 Top 100 Bestest Films of All Time list. Indeed, I’ll see it, not as a stand-alone one-off art film, but as a chapter in a longer (if open-ended) saga. I expect I’ll enjoy it, too, even if it’s just “predetermined” to be tuna casserole.

Sometimes tuna casserole can be pretty good.

Eternals teaser sheet

Death by Willful Ignorance

Defiance of science leading to unnecessary death is not unique to COVID-era America.

james garfield
James Garfield, potentially one of the best Presidents of the United States.

James Garfield was a really cool guy.

He didn’t aspire to the presidency — he became an unexpected compromise candidate. But his Civil War record, and the high respect he had garnered in Congress for his modesty, integrity, intelligence, and dedication to the nation, made him a clear choice in 1880.

He was a strong but compassionate self-made man. He was deeply invested in opposing corruption, in protecting the civil rights of blacks, and in unifying a post-Civil War nation. He stood against the spoils system of governmental appointments, preferring a civil service that protected government from favoritism and partisan politics.

James Garfield being shot in the back.

On July 2, 1881, four short months after he took office, he was shot by a disgruntled office-seeker, Charles Guiteau. One wound hittin his shoulder was relatively trival. The key gunshot, deep into his back … still didn’t kill him outright, missing any of his major organs.

Instead, he lingered on for over two months as sepsis slowly, agonizingly, claimed his body with “tunnels” of pus and blood and infection.

And that didn’t have to be the case.

Germ theory was something relatively new, the mid-19th Century work of European scientists like Semmelweis, Snow, Pasteur and Lister. But the demonstrable results of its recommendations had been widely adopted by doctors.

Doctors in Europe.

Louis Pasteur
Surely you don’t expect us to take seriously theories from some guy with a foreign name like “Pasteur” (or “Fauci”) do you?

In America, it was a fancy, newfangled, high-fallutin’, furrin’, totally nonsensical, un-American theory. Invisible creatures causing disease? We all know that’s due to bad air. After all, American doctors were the best there were, trained and hardened of the fields of the Civil War. There was nothing Europe had to teach us.

Besides … the idea of requiring doctors — professionals — to wash their hands before touching their patients? To not wear around their bloodied clothing, which demonstrated their dedication to their manly profession by the “robust stink of the surgery”? To clean their surgical instruments between uses? What sort of creepy, unbelievable, freedom-infringing, effeminate crap was that supposed to be?

So, yeah, Garfield had a serious bullet wound. But he had the finest physicians in the land coming to aid him, to  investigate, to treat, to be part of the quest to save the great man’s life.

James Garfield on his deathbed, surrounded by lots of doctors with unwashed hands.

Exploratory surgery as we know it was out of the question. Doctors knew what to do if the wanted to find out what was going on inside someone, or find a bullet that was lodged within them.

You just stuck your fingers up inside of the body.

Your unwashed fingers, of course.

We know what we’re doing. We know better than those creepy Europeans with their “science” and know-it-all attitudes. They say we’re doing something unsafe. How dare they impose their standards on us? This nation is the greatest on Earth, and we stand for liberty!

Washing hands whenever you touched someone was bothersome. Washing surgical instruments equally so. Using disinfectants like carbolic acid was messy. American doctors treating Garfield declined to follow such namby-pamby recommendations, the so-called scientific discoveries of those Europeans be damned.

And so Garfield died a long, lingering, awful, unnecessary death.

* * *

Today there are still people insisting, against all evidence, that COVID-19 is a triviality, nothing worse than the flu. That not that many people get sick from it, that not that many who get sick actually die. That masks don’t limit the spread of the disease but are a tyrannical infringement on freedom. That vaccines are a conspiracy of foreigners and un-American people trying to force us to do things.

How many James Garfields have there been over the past twenty months, cut down before they could achieve their promise, due to the willful ignorance, stubborn stupidity, and misplaced nationalistic pride of people who reject science for what is convenient or soothing or politically comfortable?

How many more will die?

What more could we have possibly done? It must have been a Chinese plot!

Do you want to know more?

TV Review: “Endgame”

A short-lived show about an agoraphobic Russian chessmaster who solves murders. As one does.

The “arrogant and eccentric asshole genius who solves crimes” trope is an ancient one (hey, Sherlock!), and “… but never leaves his house” is also a sizeable subcategory (think Nero Wolfe, among many others). Endgame fits pretty neatly into that setup, but is sufficiently charming and innovative to have deserved a longer run than it got.

Endgame title card

Running on Canadian TV 2011-12, it’s the story of Arkady Balagan, an ex-pat Russian chessmaster living as a hermit in a Vancouver luxury hotel, unable to leave after witnessing the fiery killing of his fiancee, Rosemary, in front of the place. Unable to travel for competition purses, and not earning enough money from pay-to-play chess games with the hoi-polloi, Arkady backs into a career as an amateur solver of mysteries (usually murders), using his analytical skills, his ability to read opponents, his talent at visualization, and just plain old being the smartest guy in the room. Being a melancholic Russian who drinks a lot apparently doesn’t hurt, either.

Since he can’t leave the Huxley hotel (and since they can plausibly set only so many murders inside of the place), he ends up making use of the usual varied band of helpers as legmen, on- and off-premises: the game theory grad student who’s willing to be paid in games with the master, the bartender at the hotel who serves him so much booze, the savvy immigrant housekeeping staffer, the sister of his fiancee Pippa (who’s usually pursuing leads about Rosemary’s murder), and, occasionally, the obnoxious head of hotel security who’d actually love to throw him out on his ass.

Endgame cast

This is not deeply original TV, nor the most innovatively-written thing you might watch, but it does quite a nice job of the tropes it uses. Chess lends itself to the plots in various clever ways. Arkady’s visualized puzzling things out (where he steps into the scenes he’s speculating about) is fun. And the mysteries (most, but not all, of them about murder) are pretty well written.

Shawn Doyle as Arkady does great Russian, and plays the bored, entitled, asshole eccentric in quite the entertaining fashion. The supporting players all do nicely with what they’re given, and most of them get some time in the plot spotlight over the course of the 13 episodes.

EndgameThe weakest part of Endgame is, ironically, the motivating force behind Arkady’s dilemma: the mysterious daylight murder of his fiancee. This is a key element in the early episodes, with Arkady certain (to the point of alienating folk) that it was a KGB hit on him, because he’s donated so much money to pro-democracy movements in Russia, but as the season wends on, Arkady seems less and less invested in the murder, even as the plot being revealed around it gets bigger, hitting a flashpoint in the last episode. The contrast is confusing, and muddies what should have been a much more solid through-line to the series.

Endgame ran on Showcase TV in Canada, but didn’t do well ratings-wise and was canceled. It was rerun by Hulu, with hopes that it might do well enough to warrant a second season, but no go. It’s currently viewable at Imdb.com TV (through Amazon Prime), though it can take a while to find, as any search for “Endgame” keeps pulling up some stupid superhero flick.

Overall, I thought it worth the time I invested into watching through it. It reminded me, a bit, of the much more successful US series The Mentalist (the eccenric, unlikeable, genius, outsider crime-solver driven a bit nuts by the murder of his beloved). I do wish we’d had a chance to see more of Endgame, but I enjoyed what we got.

Do you want to know more?

Movie Trailers before “Shang-Chi”

There’re a lot of not-good movies coming out.

Because if they’re going to chew up a half hour of your life, it’s worth making a note of them.

Weirdly, there was a trend in these trailers … the longer it went on, the better / less-reprehensible they became. Not sure if that was a coincidence or not.

  1. Jackass Forever — The Jackass franchise is egregious enough. Coming up with something pretty clearly scripted for the Jackass franchise is unforgivable. The trailer almost made me want to leave the theater.
  2. Venom: Let There Be Carnage — The only good thing to come out of the Sony purchase of Spider-Man rights from Marvel is that the whole Venom / Carnage  piece of the Marvel Universe has been shoved into a completely different set of movies that I can ignore.  Really.
  3. King Richard — You would think a movie about Venus and Serena Williams would actually be about those tennis stars. Instead, this seems more focused on (given the name and the Will Smith star-power) their father, which is … kinda weird.
  4. No Time to Die — The Daniel Craig era of Bond has been a very good one, but having a trailer for the last Craig film present itself as half-nostalgia, half-this-is-the-final-Bond-movie-ever is … also kinda weird.
  5. Sing 2 — A heartwarming musical performer anthropomorphic animal song performance sequel to a movie I never watched and don’t regret not doing so.
  6. The King’s Man — I watched The Kingsmen because I knew the Mark Millar comic book. Which meant I had little desire to watch the sequel. But this is an Edwardian Era prequel, which could be kind of amusing.
  7. Eternals — Same trailer as seen before. I am definitely so there. But I’m also a bit worried about an ensemble movie for the MCU where none of the characters are pre-established in solo efforts. I worry about how this will fare, commercially, even while everything about it looks very cool.

Net-net? I see us going to Eternals, The King’s Man (Margie was intrigued), and maybe No Time to Die. The rest are not our cuppa.

Movie Trailers

Movie Review: “Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings” (2021)

The MCU meets Wuxia and manages to make it work

A very good martial arts / Wuxia film that manages to find the sweet super-hero spot between Orientalist stereotypes and generic Western action flick. It’s not only a good MCU move on its own, but ties into the MCU in some very distinct and intriguing ways.

Shang-Chi poster

For the record, there are two end-titles vignettes — a long one after the initial “animated” credits, and then a shorter one (but definitely worth the wait) after all the credits are done.

Do you want to know more?