It’s the Tuesday This-or-That.
1. Tom Hanks or Tom Cruise? Cruise has neither ignited the loathing nor the adulation in me that he has in some folks. Hanks, on the other hand, is one of the few actors of this era that will be remembered in fifty years.
2. Julia Roberts or Julia Stiles? Dunno any of Stiles’ work. Roberts, like Tom Cruise, I can take or leave depending on what she’s in.
3. Kevin Costner or Kevin Spacey? Spacey’s an actor (like Hanks). Costner is a star (like Cruise) (but not nearly as good a one). I prefer actors.
4. Ben Affleck or Ben Stiller? Stiller, by and large, though I’ve enjoyed some of Affleck’s stuff.
5. Sean Connery or Sean Penn? Despite his rather Neanderthal thoughts on gender relations, Connery is one of the most enjoyable character actors around. Has Penn done anything lately?
6. Jennifer Lopez or Jennifer Aniston? Neither does anything for me.
7. Courtney Love or Courtney Cox-Arquette? See #6.
8. Sarah Michelle Gellar or Sarah Jessica Parker? Parker I can take or leave. Gellar leaves me absolutely cold every time I see her outside the Buffyverse. She sometimes leaves me cold there, too.
9. Michael Douglas or Mike Myers? Myers strikes me as an SNL grad who somehow magically became famous, but still relies on SNL character schtick. The Austin Powers franchise has been beaten to death with nail-studded clubs, and should be buried at a cross-roads before it rises again. Douglas, on the other hand, is an actor.
10. Nicole Kidman or (Anna) Nicole Smith? Um … Mike Myers?
You should rent 10 Things I Hate About You. Retelling of the Taming of the Shrew, with Julia Stiles as the Shrew. It also has Heath Ledger (that might help Margie want to see it, I don’t know…), and is a really good movie.
Stiles also had a bit part in The Bourne Identity. And I mean really, really bit part.
J. Lo was really, really good in Out of Sight, another flick I highly recommend. Didn’t quite pull it off for The Wedding Planner, but she’s trying.
Yeah, but P Diddy’s sad, dazed expression ever since J Lo dumped him is entertainment in itself. Word to the wise: Don’t let your posse toss lead around for stupid reasons when out on the town with your Goddess, even if she’s from the Bronx.
Something I always try to bear in mind when I go out to Macaroni Grill with Margie and my family. Mom has to leave her Glock at the house.
>5. Sean Connery or Sean Penn?…Has Penn done anything lately?
Well, he played opposite Lisa Kudrow in two episodes of “Friends.”
>6. Jennifer Lopez or Jennifer Aniston? Neither does anything for me.
>7. Courtney Love or Courtney Cox-Arquette? See #6.
Now just a minute here! Jennifer Aniston and Courtney Cox-Arquette, but no Lisa Kudrow? This is an outrage! I demand equal time for Lisa! I insist that… (Uh, is my obsession showing? Sorry, folks.)