People unclear on the concept

I arrived at LAX too late for stand-by to the earlier flight to Denver, alas, but in time to see …

Well, let’s just say neither consumer nor business covered itself in glory.

United has converted the majority of its counter space to “Easy Check-In” kiosks. Which are great, especially if you’re not checking bags. And if you’re of average or better intelligence …

At terminal 7 at LAX, the counter is divided between “PAPER TKTS” and “ELECTRONIC TKTS,” with both sides also being labelled, alternately, “EASY CHECK-IN.”

A line.

A line of folks waiting to …

… well, not get to the kiosks. Several were open (many, many more were inexplicably closed). No, to get to a person. To check in the Old School way.

One particular gentleman was particularly irate because, well, he had an “electronic ticket” (e-ticket printout), but nobody would help him. He kept pointing at the “ELECTRONIC TKTS” sign and walking back and forth along the counter, trying to grab someone’s attention.

The staff there (in theory to let folks check bags while electronically checking in) were overly busy and not terrilbly sympathetic, even though the signs were not really as helpful as they should have been.

Meanwhile, I was around number five in line. A gent at the front of the line was standing there. When some of us in line pointed out the open kiosks, he indicated he was not there for electronic check-in, at which point he had to be shooed off to the paper tickets queue.

The next lady stood there, too, ignoring the open kiosks. The line was about to rebel (queue issues are where civilization is both strongest and most brittle) when I and another lady instructed the lady in front what the kiosks were for, that the card swipe was not to buy a ticket but to verify her identity, and that, yes, she really could pay attention to the big display that said, “Check in here!” She’d never heard of such a thing, and was very excited —

— and that got me to the front of the line, to a kiosk, and checked in in mere moments.

Rrg.

Lesson learned: People are idiots, and United hasn’t communicated these things nearly well enough.

Remind me next time that there are self-service no-checked-baggage kiosks standing alone off to the left of the main terminal area. And, mercifully, the security lines were nearly non-existent. And while my remaining wait for the plane was long, it was relatively pleasant (much writing ensued, and a decent dinner). My main regret being that, well, I didn’t get home until 1:30a.