Via De.
- How do you catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on it. - How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Tame way. - How do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the psychopath. - How do you get Holy Water?
You boil the Hell out of it. - What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall?
Dam! - What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t work?
A stick. - What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho Cheese. - What do you call Santa’s helpers?
Subordinate Clauses. - What do you call four bullfighters in quicksand?
Quatro cinco. - What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk. - What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite. - What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck. - What’s the difference between Roast Beef and Pea Soup?
Anyone can Roast Beef. - Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where you left him. - Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers. - Why don’t blind people like to sky dive?
Because it scares the dog. - Why did Pilgrims’ pants always fall down?
Because they wore their belt buckles on their hats. - What’s the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
A bad golfer goes, Whack, “Dang!”
A bad skydiver goes, “Dang!” Whack.
I plan on sharing these with Katherine this afternoon. She’ll think they’re hilarious.
#19 is the punchline to #18, but otherwise, hilarious! 🙂
Fixed. (And you missed I’d made the same reformatting goof on 6&7, so I feel slightly better. 🙂 )
Hey, Dave. I don’t want to offend you, but I’m one of the “crazy” ones with a diagnosed mental illness. The words crazy and psychopath get tossed around far too freely, and are very stigmatizing. I’m not talking about me – I’m used to it – but I’ve got a daughter with the same illness. For her sake, please don’t pass #3 along to Katherine. I’m hoping that by the time she’s an adult, stigma will be a thing of the past and no one will think ‘crazy’ jokes are funny anymore. And if they haven’t changed enough, then your bright, thoughtful, sensitive daughter will be on the leading edge of a better world by choosing not to repeat hurtful things.
Thanks.
Hi, Terry. I like to think (from some past experience) that I’m sensitive to issues regarding mental illness. My apologies.
Perhaps a better answer to Terry is “lighten up, Francis.”