Some words of possible wisdom, from a variety of sources.
A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it.
John Steinbeck (1902-1968) American writer
Travels With Charley: In Search of America, Part 1 (1962)
Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they can not be separated; often moving in opposite directions, yet always punishing anyone who comes between them.
Sydney Smith (1771-1845) English clergyman, essayist, wit
Lady Holland’s Memoir, Vol. I, ch. 11 (1855)
Full text.
The most important thing a man can know is that, as he approaches his own door, someone on the other side is listening for the sound of his footsteps.
Clark Gable (1901-1960) American film actor [b. William Clark Goebel]
(Attributed)
In Ronald Reagan, Where’s the Rest of Me?, ch. 18 (1965). Quoted as something Reagan wrote to his first son, Michael, before his marriage
No long-term marriage is made easily, and there have been times when I’ve been so angry or so hurt that I thought my love would never recover. And then, in the midst of near despair, something has happened beneath the surface. A bright little flashing fish of hope has flicked silver fins and the water is bright and suddenly I am returned to a state of love again — till next time. I’ve learned that there will always be a next time, and that I will submerge in darkness and misery, but that I won’t stay submerged. And each time something has been learned under the waters; something has been gained; and a new kind of love has grown. The best I can ask for is that this love, which has been built on countless failures, will continue to grow. I can say no more than that this is mystery, and gift, and that somehow or other, through grace, our failures can be redeemed and blessed.
Madeleine L’Engle (1918-2007) American writer
“The Irrational Season” (1977)
I used to believe that marriage would diminish me, reduce my options. That you had to be someone less to live with someone else when, of course, you have to be someone more.
Candice Bergen (b. 1946) American actress
(Attributed)
Marriage is a coming together for better or for worse, hopefully enduring, and intimate to the degree of being sacred.
Justice William O. Douglas (1898-1980) US Supreme Court (1939-75)
Griswold v. Connecticut, 381 US 470 (1965) (7 Jun 1965)
Marriage is a lot like life, only with more fun parts …. The only secret is showing up every day with an open heart.
Jon Carroll (b. 1943)
San Francisco Chronicle, “New Ideas on the Culture War” (6 Jul. 1999)
1. Don’t, don’t nag.
2. Don’t try to make your partner over.
3. Don’t criticize.
4. Give honest appreciation.
5. Pay little attentions.
6. Be courteous.
7. Read a good book on the sexual side of marriage.
Dale Carnegie (1888-1955) American writer, lecturer
How to Win Friends and Influence People, “Seven Rules for Making Your Home Life Happier” (1936)
Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a Sears battery.
Erma Bombeck (1927-1996) American humorist
(Attributed)
The pride of the peacock is the glory of God.
The lust of the goat is the bounty of God.
The wrath of the lion is the wisdom of God.
The nakedness of a woman is the work of God.
William Blake (1757-1827) English poet, mystic, artist
“The Marriage of Heaven and Hell” (1790 – 1793)
Marriage must continually vanquish the monster that devours everything, the monster of habit.
Honoré de Balzac (1799-1850) French novelist, playwright
Physiology of Marriage (1829)
Companionship, partnership, mutual reassurance, someone to laugh with and grieve with, loyalty that accepts foibles, someone to touch, someone to hold your hand — these things are marriage, and sex is but the icing on the cake.
Robert A. Heinlein (1909-1988) American writer
Time Enough for Love [Lazarus] (1973)
It is not lack of love but lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.
Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900) German philosopher and poet
Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. That is what makes a marriage last — more than passion or even sex!
Simone Signoret (1921-1985) German-French actress [b. Simone Kaminker]
Daily Mail (London) (4 Jul 1978)
What makes a marriage last is for a man and a woman to continue to have things to argue about.
Rex Stout (1886-1975) American writer
One advantage of marriage, it seems to me, is that when you fall out of love with him, or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until maybe you fall in again.
Judith Viorst (b. 1931) American writer
This is why you get married. You run into a difficult situation, can’t seem to find a way out and — TAG — your partner jumps in and fixes everything. A good marriage isn’t just about love and friendship, it’s about sharing your talents and making the struggle of life a little bit easier.
Okay. That sounds like a load of crap. So I’ll just say that even if life is a constant mess, you’ve got some company to kill the time. Better?
Michael Jantze (b. 1962) American cartoonist
The Norm, “Norm’s Daily Journal” (7 Sep. 2003)
Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. May her breasts satisfy you at all times; may you be intoxicated always by her love.
The Bible (14th C BC – 2nd C AD) Christian sacred scripture
Proverbs 5:18-19
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
The Bible (14th C BC – 2nd C AD) Christian sacred scripture
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
I had rather live and love where death is king, than have eternal life where love is not.
Robert Green Ingersoll (1833-1899) American lawyer and orator
“At A Child’s Grave” (eulogy) (8 Jan 1882)
It is a splendid thing to think that the woman you really love will never grow old to you. Through the wrinkles of time, through the mask of years, if you really love her, you will always see the face you loved and won. And a woman who really loves a man does not see that he grows old; he is not decrepit to her; he does not tremble; he is not old; she always sees the same gallant gentleman who won her hand and heart. I like to think of it in that way; I like to think that love is eternal.
Robert Green Ingersoll (1833-1899) American lawyer and orator
“The Liberty of Man, Woman, and Child” (1877)
It is not necessary to be great to be happy; it is not necessary to be rich to be just and generous and to have a heart filled with divine affection. No matter whether you are rich or poor, treat your wife as though she were a splendid flower, and she will fill your life with perfume and with joy.
Robert Green Ingersoll (1833-1899) American lawyer and orator
“The Liberty of Man, Woman, and Child” (1877)
You had better be the emperor of one loving and tender heart, and she the empress of yours, than to be king of the world. The man who has really won the love of one good woman in this world, I do not care if he dies in the ditch a beggar, his life has been a success.
Robert Green Ingersoll (1833-1899) American lawyer and orator
“The Liberty of Man, Woman, and Child” (1877)
Full text.
Best of everything, you two crazy kids.