It is perhaps a sign of my long years that I do not comfortably use that particular four-letter word. Growing up, that was the nuclear option of vocabulary, the worst possible word one could use. The "F" word trumped even the "S" word, being not only an obscenity but related to (ssshhhh!) sex.
What's remarkable to me, at least, is how commonplace the word has gotten. I haven't heard it from the pulpit or the pundit show or the politician's podium or on prime time network TV yet, but I suspect that will all come in time. And, not unexpectedly, with its widening usage, its become progressively diluted — it's no longer a fighting word, but a (strong) intensifier.
Still, it sets off little alarms in my head for me to actually consider using it in a number of contexts. A post the other day gave me pause (https://plus.google.com/+DaveHill47/posts/ZxheroLTrKz), as it used That Word (as a gerund). When it comes to my blogging, my first reaction is "Hey, my daughter reads this," followed by "Hey, my mother reads this."
(And, yes, I know that both my daughter (at 15) and my mother are well aware of the word, hear the word frequently, and are probably largely, culturally, immune to it — though I don't believe I have ever heard either of them use it in front of me.)
So I told my daughter last night, re that post, "Hey, there was something funny I wanted to show you, but you have to read it because I'm not going to say it aloud," and, after looking at it, she said, "Yeah, I saw that before, it's funny, I have a copy of it saved on my phone."
Kids.
There have been a number of humorous things over the years I've declined to share / repost (or do so publicly) because of that word. It still strikes me as not-quite-right to use in casual, public conversation.
On the other hand, when it comes to creative writing, I have no apprehension about using it as an intensifier, or to characterize individuals (as coarse, angry, or both). And, to be honest, it is a word I have been known to utter aloud on occasions. Usually loudly. Sometimes repeatedly. Often various grammatical forms. Most frequently involving mishaps with tools, household repairs, or whilst driving.
And it does sometimes slip into my day-to-day speech or writing amongst friends — a WTF here and there, a use as an intensifier, or quoting Samuel L Jackson about airborne herpetological infestations, etc. It happens, but not if I think about it (or, if I think about it, then it's very careful and intentional).
The funny thing is, though I find my own use restrained by some inner governor, I really don't take it amiss when others use it (except insofar as I feel comfortable reposting what they said). I'm sure there are outer bounds for that, but if someone says, "That's fucked" or "I told him to fuck off" or something like that — well, that's their speaking style, I do it on occasion, too, and that's what makes human conversation interesting.
As part of this personal contemplation (which is really meant as a discussion of my own verbal quirks than a jeremiad against people these days having potty mouths), I looked up George Carlin's list of "Words you can't use on television" routine (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seven_dirty_words). "Fuck" is on the list, of course. It's interesting which words / terms remain more taboo than others. Some can be heard on TV these days pretty frequently, and not just on HBO.
Also interesting is the nature of how what words are acceptable has changed. Body function / body part words seem more acceptable now, but words used as pejoratives, as intentional insults, especially about Other groups, are not. The one word that doesn't show up on that list that is more taboo than it was in 1972, and because of that pejorative sense, is the "N" word — which I will write out as an example when it comes up, but not casually, just because it is generally used in a directly and historically hurtful and denigrating fashion.
Another word along those lines — a four letter word on Carlin's list — is one of the few flags that will get me to block someone when used in a pejorative sense (as it nearly always is). Not because it (or any other word) is bad per se, but because the misogynistic sentiment with which it is almost always used is so vile that, honestly, I don't feel the need to be exposed to someone who'd use it that way.
Words are words. The sentiment behind the words is more meaningful than the phonemes, or even the definition.
(It's interesting, if only to me, where in writing this I feel comfortable using words, where I prefer to use quaint circumlocutions around initials, and where I choose not to use the word at all.)
At any rate, there you go. Unlike Captain America, I don't necessarily want people to "watch their language" (except that being aware of one's language is useful part of language usage). It was just a thought that bubbled up to the surface about they ways in which I watch my language, and how that differs (for reasons I don't assume are morally bad) from others around me.
And, yes, I expect to get teased unmercifully by close friends and family about this, in general, or next time I utter something they can point to as a "naughty word." And, yes, I expect some descendant of mine to look at this and marvel at how stuck-up and repressed Great-Grandpa Dave was. We are all children of our times and culture and subculture and family, though. And self-awareness of that is worthwhile.
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