3 - 2005 | ***Dave Does the Blog

The customer is always … um … never mind

A woman, unable to get her Western BBQ Burger made the way it was supposed to be made, and tired and cranky and with a car full of kids just…

A woman, unable to get her Western BBQ Burger made the way it was supposed to be made, and tired and cranky and with a car full of kids just out of Tae Kwan Do class, calls 911.

Yes, the emergency phone number for reporting life-threatening stuff. And it wasn’t even that eating too many Western BBQ Burgers will threaten your life — it was that she wanted the cops to come down there and do something about it, dagnabbit! Like, make them give her the burger she ordered! Dagnabbit!

And now I present an award for the calmest, most adult 911 operator you can imagine:

O: Then I suggest you get your money back and go somewhere else. This, this is not a criminal issue. We can’t go out there and make them make you a cheeseburger the way you want it.
B: Well … that is, that, you’re supposed to be here to protect me.
O: Well, what are we protecting you from, a wrong cheeseburger?
B: No, it’s —
O: Is this a harmful cheeseburger or something? I don’t understand what you want us to do.
B: Well — just come down here, I’m not leaving!
O: No ma’am, I’m not sending the deputies down there over a cheeseburger! You need to go in there and act like an adult, and either get your money back, and go home.

I expect to hear about a law suit filed against the 911 operator, and the sheriff’s department, and Burger King, over all this, but, damn, how nice is it to hear someone actually advocating taking responsibility for your own life?

I’d almost think this a hoax, except that the sound file sounds absolutely authentic …

(via Kevin Drum)

Make believe

Fascinating article on kids, make-believe, imaginary friends, fantasy, self-hypnosis, myth — and, tangentially, fiction writing. (via Mind Hacks)…

Fascinating article on kids, make-believe, imaginary friends, fantasy, self-hypnosis, myth — and, tangentially, fiction writing.

(via Mind Hacks)

If I only had the nerve

The Credit Card Prank I The Credit Card Prank II For what it’s worth, I can confirm from my own experience that they almost never check to see if the…

The Credit Card Prank I

The Credit Card Prank II

For what it’s worth, I can confirm from my own experience that they almost never check to see if the signature on the back of the card matches (my signature is messy and the space on the back of the card is rarely large enough to match what I sign on a receipt; Margie’s is an illegible squiggle that I think she chose in homage to her brother, the doctor), though they will ask for an ID if there is no signature there (or if the signature has blurred with time into a vague, bluish cloud).

(via J-Walk)

Unity at Last!

Islamic, Jewish, and Christian clerics meet together in Jerusalem! They stand united! They stand together! They speak as one! The subject? The reason for this ecumenism? A cry for peace…

Islamic, Jewish, and Christian clerics meet together in Jerusalem! They stand united! They stand together! They speak as one!

The subject? The reason for this ecumenism? A cry for peace between Israel and the Palestinians? A condemnation of terorrism? A call for brotherly love? A recognition of humility and common bonds between them?

Of course not. They’re there to oppose a gay rights festival.

International gay leaders are planning a 10-day WorldPride festival and parade in Jerusalem in August, saying they want to make a statement about tolerance and diversity in the Holy City, home to three great religious traditions.

Now major leaders of the three faiths — Christianity, Judaism and Islam — are making a rare show of unity to try to stop the festival. They say the event would desecrate the city and convey the erroneous impression that homosexuality is acceptable.

“They are creating a deep and terrible sorrow that is unbearable,” Shlomo Amar, Israel’s Sephardic chief rabbi, said yesterday at a news conference in Jerusalem attended by Israel’s two chief rabbis, the patriarchs of the Roman Catholic, Greek Orthodox and Armenian churches, and three senior Muslim prayer leaders. “It hurts all of the religions. We are all against it.”

Abdel Aziz Bukhari, a Sufi sheik, added: “We can’t permit anybody to come and make the Holy City dirty. This is very ugly and very nasty to have these people come to Jerusalem.”

Well, at least they’re united on something.

(via Jeff Jarvis)

The only hero

Ed Brayton talks about (not his words) “the only true unvarnished hero in the recent ‘legal’ phase of the Terri Schiavo saga,” 11th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals Judge Stanley…

Ed Brayton talks about (not his words) “the only true unvarnished hero in the recent ‘legal’ phase of the Terri Schiavo saga,” 11th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals Judge Stanley F. Birch, Jr., who took the Administration and Congress to task for their unconstitutional dabbling in the Schiavo case.

Judge Birch was essentially ending any possibility of being nominated to the Supreme Court (you don’t win nominations by accusing both the White House and the Congress of brazenly flouting the Constitution for political gain), and he had been mentioned by many as a potential nominee because of his solidly conservative views and reputation.

He then talks — wisely — about the value of an independent judiciary, and its foundational nature (in the Federalist Papers) as a check on the other branches.

That is indeed what the battle over “judicial activism” is really all about. It’s a sustained attack on the independence of the judiciary undertaken because the judiciary is such an easy target for elected politicians to take aim at. It’s a power grab by the legislature, which doesn’t like to be told no, which is precisely what the courts were invented to do. We owe Judge Birch a great thanks for reminding us of that once again.

Neither party has been immune to this, but as the party in power, the GOP has been the most egregious offender over the last few years.

Requiescat in pace

May Terri Schiavo, and her family, now finally find the peace that was denied them by the politicians, pundits, and the press. Her relatives and friends never reached a consensus…

May Terri Schiavo, and her family, now finally find the peace that was denied them by the politicians, pundits, and the press.

Her relatives and friends never reached a consensus on whether the Florida resident would have wanted to linger for so long in what doctors called a persistent vegetative state. However, all who knew her agree the once-bashful woman would have shunned the litigation-spawned spotlight.

(via Scott)

Time passages

Just a reminder to my US brethren that Saturday Night (well, Sunday Morning) we “spring forward” into Standard Time. Just what I need — one less hour of sleep….

Just a reminder to my US brethren that Saturday Night (well, Sunday Morning) we “spring forward” into Standard Time.

Just what I need — one less hour of sleep.

One ringy-dingy …

Faboo 1927 silent film short instructing the residents of Fresno on what to do after the impending cut-over of the local phone system to (gasp!) dial phones. Includes instructions on…

Faboo 1927 silent film short instructing the residents of Fresno on what to do after the impending cut-over of the local phone system to (gasp!) dial phones. Includes instructions on such memorable subjects as:

Looking up numbers in the phone book.
What’s a dial tone.
How to dial the phone (something our kids may need help with, too).
How you shouldn’t dial the “dash” in the phone number.
How you should have the receiver off the hook before you begin to dial.
What a busy signal sounds like and what you should do if you get one.

It was like the Internet of the 1920s!

(via BoingBoing)

Rise of the Dark M-pire

Oh. My. A commercial tie-in to a media product that’s well done, to the point of being damned funny for a product that actually looks like I want it Obviously…

Oh. My.

A commercial tie-in to a media product that’s

well done, to the point of being damned funny
for a product that actually looks like I want it

Obviously one of the signs of the Apocalypse.

(via Julia)

Girl Genius Online!

Studio Foglio is moving from publishing individual issues of Phil’s comic Girl Genius to a web-centered model — new pages on Monday, Wednesday, Friday (starting 18 April), with annual collections…

Studio Foglio is moving from publishing individual issues of Phil’s comic Girl Genius to a web-centered model — new pages on Monday, Wednesday, Friday (starting 18 April), with annual collections in print.

A great idea, if they can pull it off. Like, ah, most of Phil’s output, Girl Genius has been, um, occasional. Triffic and funny when it comes out, to be sure, but rarely adhering to promised monthly (or bi-monthly, or quarterly) schedules.

Can Phil & Co. stick to a 3-page-a-week schedule? Will removing the grunt work of actual issue publication make the whole thing a lower-threshold effort?

We’ll see — and I’ll keep my fingers crossed that this works, because, as this sample shows, it’s a great title.

Medicine and money

A rambling but fascinating essay in the New Yorker on the business side of being a doctor. Great stuff (and no simple answers): I remember, nine years ago, getting the…

A rambling but fascinating essay in the New Yorker on the business side of being a doctor. Great stuff (and no simple answers):

I remember, nine years ago, getting the bill for the heart surgery that saved my son?s life. The total cost, it said, was almost a quarter-million dollars. My payment? Five dollars — the cost of the co-pay for the initial visit to the emergency room and the doctor who figured out that our pale and struggling boy was suffering from heart failure. I was an intern then, and in no position to pay for any significant part of his medical expenses. If my wife and I had had to, we would have bankrupted ourselves for him. But insurance meant that all anyone had to consider was his needs. It was a beautiful thing.

Yet it’s also the source of what economists call “moral hazard”: with other people paying the bills, I did not care how much was spent or charged to save my child. To me, all the members of the team deserved a million dollars for what they did. Others were footing the bill — so it’s left to them to question the price. Hence the adversarial relationship doctors have with insurers. Whether insurance is provided by the government or by corporations, there is no reason to think that the battles — over the fees charged, the bills rejected, the pre-approval contortions — will ever end.

(via Kottke)

Mysteries of Science

Fun article (from the New Scientist) on “13 things that do not make sense” — and are likely to achieve a fair amount of fame (at least) for anyone who…

Fun article (from the New Scientist) on “13 things that do not make sense” — and are likely to achieve a fair amount of fame (at least) for anyone who can come up with convincing explanations:

1. The Placebo Effect
2. The Horizon Problem
3. Ultra-Energetic Cosmic Rays
4. Belfast Homeopathy Results
5. Dark Matter
6. Viking’s Methane
7. Tetraneutrons
8. The Pioneer Anomaly
9. Dark Energy
10. The Kuiper Cliff
11. The Wow Signal
12. Not-so-constant Constants
13. Cold Fusion

(via Kottke)

“Hey, Marcia! Come look at the Satanist!”

*Sigh*. This is so 1980s … South Jersey man is being jailed without bail in Montgomery County, Pa. on charges that he stabbed three people to death last Friday in…

*Sigh*. This is so 1980s …

South Jersey man is being jailed without bail in Montgomery County, Pa. on charges that he stabbed three people to death last Friday in King of Prussia.

[…] [District Attorney] Castor says the motive appears to be jealousy, but they are also looking into some sort of connection with the fantasy role-playing game “Dungeons and Dragons”:

“I mean, you have many, many stab wounds and those ‘Dungeons and Dragons’ fantasy games involve swords and knives and daggers and things of that nature. There may be a connection but I can?t say for sure.”

No word yet on whether DA Castor will look into a connection with the television show Iron Chef (“You have have many, many cuts, and those Japanese cooking shows involve many sharp knives chopping up food”), or a possible objection with golf (“You have many, many slices, and those golf games sure involve slicing, from what I hear”).

Of course, it turns out that the accused does have a link, of sorts, with gaming …

Eichinger, described as quiet and a loner, was an avid fantasy-game player, acquaintances said. He may have dabbled in the occult, Castor said. Castor would not say whether the killings appeared ritualistic, but added, “We think that he might have some interest in that area.”

[…] A fan of tabletop strategy games, especially Star Wars, Eichinger was a regular player at Jester’s in Northfield, N.J., said owner Richard Gain. His game choices were not related to the occult, however. “I know him enough and have seen him play enough to know this [arrest] has nothing to do with the games that he plays,” Gain said.

No word on whether George Lucas is being held for questioning, but evidently the press has been having a field day with the game shop mentioned.

It has been a hard couple of days. We have had newspapers, radio shock jocks and even the police asking us questions. I think the storm is over until the trial. I told the one reporter that she should call the Idaho Potato Board (is there such a thing?) because I heard that 75% of all prison inmates eat Mashed Potatoes. She did not appreciate it.

(via John Kovalic)

Technological query

So my new computer has Bluetooth capabilities. Any suggestions as to what I might actually want to do with Bluetooth on my PC?…

So my new computer has Bluetooth capabilities.

Any suggestions as to what I might actually want to do with Bluetooth on my PC?

Positive feedback

It’s rather nice to have someone call you up from another congregation that’s going through a rector search, and have them tell you that your parish’s search process is being…

It’s rather nice to have someone call you up from another congregation that’s going through a rector search, and have them tell you that your parish’s search process is being held up in the diocese as a model to be emulated.

Gah!

Sometimes I embarrass myself. Like when I, out loud (and loudly) shout, “GAH!” when I get a voice mail that says my new notebook computer is here ……

Sometimes I embarrass myself. Like when I, out loud (and loudly) shout, “GAH!” when I get a voice mail that says my new notebook computer is here …

Another day at the office

Ah, the joys of office work. (There’s some fun stuff going on in the background, too.)…

Ah, the joys of office work. (There’s some fun stuff going on in the background, too.)

Archiving blogs

I have several blogs in my MT install that I want to go ahead and pull down from being online (they’re not used, they’re not live, they don’t attract comment…

I have several blogs in my MT install that I want to go ahead and pull down from being online (they’re not used, they’re not live, they don’t attract comment spam any more, but they’re still in the way).

But, being an historical sort, I don’t want to simply delete the stuff, or rely solely on an MT export file. I can download the whole thing off into a directory (for later Zipping, if need be), and that’s probably the best way — except that all the links don’t work at that point (they all point up to the soon-to-be-defunct web page).

What would be nice is if I could publish the blog to my hard drive … that wouldn’t deal with any graphics files, but it would be a start. Or something that would print out a website (to a PDF) would work, too, in its own way (like this?).

Any other ideas here?

Y’wanna lesson in karma? Here’s a lesson in karma

Why soliciting plagiarized term papers on the Internet can be a dangerous thing: you might contact a comedy writer who’s also a blogger with academic standards … I reached one…

Why soliciting plagiarized term papers on the Internet can be a dangerous thing: you might contact a comedy writer who’s also a blogger with academic standards …

I reached one more branch out to her, in the form of misspelling the name of the god of destruction as a liquor brand. But it wasn’t enough to get her to tell me to fuck myself, so I started making up my plan. Which was real simple: Take her money and cut and paste a paper together from the internet that was so obviously plagiarised that she’d be guaranteed to get caught. And then, if I was able to get the information out of her, I’d report her to whatever her school was, and who knows, maybe even pump her for double money in exchange for not turning her in. Either way, I’d eventually be writing the story up in this blog, and sending her the link to it.

Is this harsh? Eh, I don’t think so.

Good luck, Laura Pahl of Lewis University … you’re going to need it.

Pat-pat

Though I believe that pat-downs of folks during security screenings should be kept to a minimum, and while there have been some cases (or at least allegations) of improper conduct…

Though I believe that pat-downs of folks during security screenings should be kept to a minimum, and while there have been some cases (or at least allegations) of improper conduct during such pat-downs, I find by the same token I have very little sympathy for those folks who take offense at the very concept of a pat-down, or at the thought that they might be considered a possible threat and be patted down during secondary screening.

“I was really patted down everywhere,” Ginzkey said about her recent flight to Denver. “You do feel like your privacy is being invaded.”

[…] “I was told to spread my arms and legs, and they patted down every inch of me. I found it offensive,” Imansepahi said. “I’m offended by a perfect stranger placing a hand between my breasts and under my breast.”

[…] “I don’t think they should touch you. It’s a little gross,” Rague said.

Grow up, people.

That all said, the new technologies (hand-held explosive sniffers) and policies (skipping pat-downs in cases of form-fitting clothing) being considered should reduce the number of searches needed. And, yes, that’s a good thing.

But I’d rather run a little risk of being offended than of having someone smuggle explosives onto a plane because they counted on offense-avoidance protecting them.