Category: Humor

Par-tay!

From the Top5 Comics list, 1 September 2006:

The Top 7 Things Overheard at a Superhero Party

7> “HULK WANT HEAR ‘PURPLE RAIN!'”

6> “Do you think anyone should tell Sue Storm only her costume goes invisible when she’s drunk?”

5> “I found out the hard way that (a) the red chair was PlasticMan, and (b) he was really happy to see me.”

4> “Sure, they can fight crime, but just look at the Teen Titans now: Boys lined up along one wall; girls lined up along theother.”

3> “Supergirl and Powergirl came in the same outfit this year? Awk-ward!”

2> “With great power comes great responsibility… and my world-famous Spidey-Tater-Salad!”

and the Number 1 Thing Overheard at a Superhero Party…

1> “And let’s give everyone just back from the dead a big hand!”

And Honorable Mention to the Runners-Up List:

“Can you believe Elektra’s wearing white after Labor Day?”

“Hey! Whose idea was it to play Twister with Plastic Man, Mr.Fantastic and Elongated Man?”

“Maybe they wouldn’t put you to work in the kitchen every time, Cap, if you didn’t carry around a giant serving tray.”

“Please, Logan! Not in front of the Runaways.”

“So, what kinda mileage does the Batmobile get?”

Battle Cries

Fun thread on the boards about battle cries and “color” tell-binds. My favorite:

Whenever I make a bot, my battlecry is always “Error 404: Battlecry not found.”

Brilliant.

I actually haven’t use Battlecries for some time (I remap that F-key to the “Typing …” bind, which I also regularly forget to use), as saying the same thing over and over again is (except in the above case) boring.

I do, though, love to create cascading tell-binds (pressing “T” says something witty and then loads another keybind file that resets “T” to say something else witty next time). I started that with some of my “team” toons — Ho Ho, Fazenda — but have it now on most of my regular toons (except, ironically, Psi-clone). The most right is Mr. Ravenous, with 29 different ones; I try to limit myself to doing it no more than once a mish (usually against the big boss), so that the humor stays fresh.

My only regret is that it’s so annoying to manually generate the files for them.

My personal favorite is one of Ho Ho’s lines:

“I call this the Venus Butterfly Axe!”

Cracks me up, every time.

Like I need more motivation

RPG Motivational Posters. The thread would be even more entertaining if folks didn’t reply to posts quoting the entire previous message (including large graphic). As it is, it’s now stretching over 242 pages.
And for the MMORPG-lovers among you, there’s this accompanying thread. Though, as the plain RPG one I have pictured here (dedicated, in my mind, to War Bones) demonstrates, there’s a lot of cross-over between the crowds.
Oh, and RPG Movie Posters, too. Glee.
(via Doyce and Les and Doyce)

NPC Zen

Overheard running through Perez last night:

Guardian: This ceremony cannot be stopped!
Embalmed Abomination: Grr!
Thorn Wielder: This ceremony cannot be stopped!
Guardian: This ceremony cannot be stopped!
Guard: This ceremony cannot be stopped!
Guardian: We are beyond you.
Guard: We are beyond you.
Guard: We are beyond you.
Guardian: We are beyond you.
Thorn Wielder: This shell is needed.

You could write poetry (modern poetry, at least) out of this stuff.
And, for the record, as much as the Hollows is an annoying place, Perez Park has it beat all (ahem) hollow for annoyance. Even with the map zoomed in all the way and the vidiotmaps background, it’s still a PitA to get to places inside the trees, even if you have a travel power.
(And, as Margie points out, why is it that only high level missions in the Hollows have entrances in the buildings right by Wincott, as opposed to the still-low-level, still-sometimes-pre-travel-power mishes that get thrown up in the far eastern edge of the zone, or down in the Mountains of Madness kind of thing?)
That said, I will still take a generic mission in the Hollows vs. Perez, any day of the week.

How to tell if you are a superhero

A long, very amusing list:

For someone with several billion dollars who can sleep with anyone they desire you’re kind of a doleful son of a bitch.
When you say you’re driven by a “personal vendetta” you don’t conclude with “against Kinkos.”
You have to remember to say “Ow” when shot.
Your MySpace page has 43,287 friends, all in peril.

RTWT.
(via Solonor)

“… When I’m Sixty-Four?”

Margie and I were discussing via IM something scheduled for tonight that I couldn’t remember.

Dave: Oh, well. Must be early dementia.
Margie: loony but lovable
Dave: Will you still play CoH with me when I’m 64?
Margie: City of Seniors – love it
Dave: Hobbling across the Hollows. “That’s one hell of a curb cut, young man!”
Steel Pin Canyon.
Fighting Ruin Mages. “I’ve fallen — and I can’t get up!”
Margie: They will need to put a rehab center and nursing home next to all the hosptals
Pocket-D converted to BINGO parlor
Dave: Well, at least the trams all have ramps.

The Plant

It’s now blindingly clear to me that “Operative Burch” is actually a plant, a test for new villains to the Rogue Islands, an update of the classic, “Well, you’ve shown us you have the stuff, now take this [unloaded] gun and put a [“click”] bullet in the head of this cop we just captured snooping around, so we know you’re on the up-and-up.”
I mean, the guy is the first person every new character is sent after.
The so-called “Longbow Agents” there are almost certainly turned or guys in captured costumes, too.
I’m just sayin’.

Another character idea

Martial arts type, katana, modeled as close as possible after the oriental warrior mobs hanging out here and there. Watch heroes come running up to fight you, then peel away when they see you have a hero reticle with the name, “What Tsoo Lookin At?”
Well, it was funny to think of, anyway.

I can stop any time I want


At least I’m not playing that addictive of a game. (Quietly tallies up the number of PB&Js and Chinese delivery he’s eaten over the last week or so …)
Actually, while Kitten can be a bit of a distraction during the game, she also provides some good (if involuntary) “breaks.” Which is probably annoying to the folks running with us at the time, but that’s the way it is. And we’re trying to make an effort to also make sure she doesn’t feel like a MMORPG Orphan …

City of Running-Dog Stooges

I deeply regret that this page of video game reviews, hosted by the Maoist Internationalist Movement, does not include any reviews of City of Heroes. One might speculate, though, from this review of Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic.

Knights of the Old Republic … or should we say Cossacks of the Old Republic?

Although many people have given this role playing game rave reviews in the united $tates for mostly technical reasons, even the rabid fans have admitted that it is easier to be evil in this game and that the Jedi Knights are too much more powerful than other characters. Apparently one way to “win” is to kill one’s traveling friends.

The universe of Star Wars is not unlike our own. There are the common people, and there are the “great” people. Unlike in our own world, however, the “great” people in Star Wars have their own caste of warrior slaves with special powers who, under the guise of “maintaining stability” move against any insurrection and crush any move to advance the society.

In this game, the player takes a role of one such warrior that calls him/herself a Jedi KNIGHT. The manufacturer doesn’t even try to hide the connection to the exploitative feudal system of the Middle Ages.
Actually, the Jedi are a bit creepy, but that aside.
Perhaps a review like this of CoH would work:

City of Heroes … or should we say City of Oppressors?

[…] Even as the bourgeois citizen technocrats on the street flee from the so-called evils they, themselves, have unleashed — proletariat workers trying to take purses that rightfully belong to them, sprocket “robot” workers trying to build a world of their own, organized military resistance, alien “invaders,” and those who are driven mad and descend into religious opiate ceremonies — the self-labelled (and government-sponsored) “heroes” strike back against these true representatives of the masses, striking them down and sending them off to the unseen fates their masters decree.

Unrest must be suppressed, in the City of Heroes. Groups of malcontents who band together must be crushed. Those who stand out must be beaten senseless — doubtless without resort to the private medical care doled out to the “heroes,” who then must labor under crushing debt until they further serve their mysterious masters.
Yeah. I like that.
(via BoingBoing)