Category: Love & Marriage

So the irony here is that, as the father of a new 9th Grader, I have to actually filter this story through my own feelings. And, yeah, I'll admit I'm a little torn about some of this stuff — but it's with the realization not that I think the material under discussion is wrong, or that it's not useful, but because I really don't want to think of my daughter as someone who is dealing with sexual discovery and decisions (and perhaps making decisions that I wouldn't approve of).

Which is my problem, then, isn't it. Unless it becomes my daughter's problem because I'm not stepping up to the plate as a parent.

Which circles back to a point that the Concerned Parents in this story (or the stories linked to it) ignore. Even if you posit that these are situations and aspects and decisions about sexuality that a 9th Grader isn't going to face yet, isn't that the right time to be teaching them about it?  It's like saying, "Teach them about wilderness camping? Egads, no, they're too young for that. Let's wait until they're in the wilderness and hope we can teach them about poisonous plants and hypothermia and wild animals and campsite sanitation then."

And I'll add that the idea that writing anything about sexuality other than lists of body parts and what happens during "that time of the month" — anything that talks about feelings and interactions and people and sensation — is "pornography" and therefore inappropriate to be teaching teens is completely missing the fact that these matters are already coming to their attention, via books they're reading, TV and movies they're watching, and, of course, conversations they are having with their peers (if not other experiences they are having with their peers, or on their own).  Do any of these adults remember when they were in 9th Grade?

In that context, is actually addressing these issues in a textbook really so outrageous?

Finally, 9th Graders are not "children." They aren't adults yet (at least not in most parts of our culture), but calling them "children" makes it sound like you're talking about 8-year-olds, not 14-year-olds (who are now hanging out with 15-, 16- and 17-year-olds).  We can wail and piss and moan and sing the verses to "Sunrise, Sunset," but time has already marched on.

So boo to the vocal minority that shot down this particular textbook (even though they had the option to simply opt their kids out of the class when That Topic came up). You haven't really saved those 9th Graders from learning about this stuff. You've just ensured they won't be learning anything about it in school.