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Changing the Middle Ground

Was it only July 2000? I mean, it seems like forever ago that Vermont established its civil union law. And you’d have thought it was the End of Western Civilization….

Was it only July 2000?

I mean, it seems like forever ago that Vermont established its civil union law. And you’d have thought it was the End of Western Civilization. Radical, extreme, fringe, an assault on societal value, beyond the Pale …

And here we are, four years later … and suddenly gay civil unions are a middle of the road position. Kerry’s against gay marriage, but he favors civil unions. Bush’s against gay marriage, but he’s willing to let states do it. Even if not many states have established civil unions, there’s a sudden sense that only the oldest of fogies are willing to accept it, especially if it means that gay marriage might be off the table.

Heck, even this American Family Association article is, if not enthusiastic about civil unions, certainly speaking no evil about them.

Back a few years ago, many conservatives were outraged with Vermont became the first state in the nation to legalize same-sex civil unions. Such arrangements give homosexuals most, if not all, the legal rights of married couples without calling it marriage. But that outrage appears to be subsiding as the threat of homosexual marriage becomes more of a reality.

I just find it an astonishing shift in so little time.

A good harvest

You would think the American Family Association would learn after their abortive (so to speak) gay marriage poll that (a) online polls are worthless, regardless of whether (b) people set…

You would think the American Family Association would learn after their abortive (so to speak) gay marriage poll that (a) online polls are worthless, regardless of whether (b) people set out intentionally to distort them.

But, no. Now we have a presidential poll (Bush/Kerry/Nader). From the e-mail:

You help is requested in gaining the opinion of on-line voters to the following question. Whom do you favor for the next President of the United States – John Kerry, George W. Bush, or Ralph Nader?
Cast your vote. Forward to a friend. Help us feel the pulse of America.

At least I could see them using the (planned, targeted to their audience) results of the poll as a club against congressfolk (at least ones who are ignorant of statistics and surveys, or have constituents who are). But there’s eleventy-zillion polls out there on the presidential race, on an daily basis. What possible useful information could they get from folks taking this poll?

Beside, y’know, people’s political-preference-correllated e-mail addresses?

NOTE REGARDING USE OF INFORMATION: Periodically, in keeping with our Privacy Policy, we may notify you via e-mail of updates on matters of importance …

Ah.

(via Marc)

Half-way measures

Here’s why we need gay marriage: “Lesbian Breakup Raises a Child-Support Issue” (emphasis below mine): The highest court in Massachusetts met Thursday to consider a child-support case involving a lesbian…

Here’s why we need gay marriage: “Lesbian Breakup Raises a Child-Support Issue” (emphasis below mine):

The highest court in Massachusetts met Thursday to consider a child-support case involving a lesbian couple and their 3-year-old son. The dispute turns on whether one woman must make support payments to the other, even though the couple broke up three months before the child — conceived through artificial insemination — was born.
[…] If the case heard Thursday by the high court had involved a husband and wife who had used artificial insemination, “it would be a clear case, open-and-shut, in 50 states” — and the man would be considered the father, Bartholet said.
“What makes this complicated is that you have a lesbian couple that is not allowed to get married,” she said. “So we are seeing all kinds of law developing that treats couples who look like a marital couple like a marital couple. What has been happening in the law generally is to treat same-sex couples as if they were married.”
[…] In the case argued before the Supreme Judicial Court, the women allegedly agreed in 1999 that T.F. would undergo artificial insemination with the intent of bearing a child. The women had lived together for 3 1/2 years in western Massachusetts and had gone through a commitment ceremony in 1998.
The couple had pooled their finances, named each other as beneficiary on life insurance policies and retirement plans and become part of each other’s extended families, according to a brief filed by Bennett H. Klein, the lawyer for T.F. Klein said the pair also agreed to jointly raise the child, identified as D.
The women’s relationship deteriorated, however, and B.L. moved out two months before T.F. went into premature labor. D. was born nine weeks early and was treated at a neonatal intensive care unit. The lawsuit contends B.L. made one payment of $800 when the boy was born but has not contributed to his support since then.
“This case is about one of the fundamental principles of our child welfare law, and that is that individuals are responsible to support the children they bring into the world,” Klein said.
But Sibbison told the court that the case revolved around contract law, not parental responsibilities. She said B.L. was “vulnerable” and under treatment for depression when she gave in to T.F.’s entreaties to have a child. “I think the responsibility [for support] is on the mother, who went ahead and got pregnant,” she said.
Sibbison dismissed the spousal consent forms B.L. signed at the fertility clinic and at the hospital where D. was born. “These papers at the hospital, they say, ‘Sign here, sign here,’ ” she said. “Do you want to be responsible for everything you sign?”

While the story notes that law has generally been interpreted to treat this sort of thing between gay couples under existing support rules, there’s still an element of uncertainty (as shown in the statements of the defense counsel). Establishing gay relationships as something beyond simple “contract law” (which, it sounds like, can be trivially discarded if the contract signee was simply having a bad day) and civil unions seems to be essential, if we’re going to allow gay couples to adopt or have kids “together” — for the sake of the children involved, if nothing else.

(via Joe Kelley)

Sauce for the gander

On the flip side of the gay marriage debate, Walter Cronkite weighs in with an essay that sounds eminently reasonable, but strategically misstates some key points, framing the debate as,…

On the flip side of the gay marriage debate, Walter Cronkite weighs in with an essay that sounds eminently reasonable, but strategically misstates some key points, framing the debate as, perhaps, he’d like to see it framed, but in a fashion that is unfair and misleading.

Continue reading “Sauce for the gander”

Dennis, Dennis, Dennis …

I’ve usually found Dennis Prager to be an insightful and intelligent commentator on religion and society. I’ve listened to him on the radio, on and off, for years. I haven’t…

I’ve usually found Dennis Prager to be an insightful and intelligent commentator on religion and society. I’ve listened to him on the radio, on and off, for years. I haven’t always agreed with him, but I’ve usually respected what he had to say.

But the current gay marriage debate has sent him over the deep end. While I think it’s a tad — just a tad — unfair to claim, as others do, that he’s equating supporters of gay marriage with al Qa’eda, he manages everything but.

America is engaged in two wars for the survival of its civilization. The war over same-sex marriage and the war against Islamic totalitarianism are actually two fronts in the same war — a war for the preservation of the unique American creation known as Judeo-Christian civilization.
One enemy is religious extremism. The other is secular extremism.
One enemy is led from abroad. The other is directed from home.

Okay, well maybe it’s not unfair. Certainly there’s a moral equivalency placed here. Supporters of gay marriage are no better (if no worse) than Islamofascist terrorists, and everything from terror bombings to the WTC attack is as the moral and functional equivalent of support for gay marriage. That seems to be what Prager is saying here.

The first war is against the Islamic attempt to crush whoever stands in the way of the spread of violent Islamic theocracies, such as al Qa’eda, the Taliban, the Iranian mullahs and Hamas. The other war is against the secular nihilism that manifests itself in much of Western Europe, in parts of America such as San Francisco and in many of our universities.

Secular nihilism? I certainly don’t consider myself a secular nihilist.

America leads the battle against both religious and secular nihilism and is hated by both because it rejects both equally. American values preclude embracing either religious extremism or radical secularism. As Alexis de Tocqueville, probably the greatest observer of our society, wrote almost 200 years ago, America is a unique combination of secular government and religious (Judeo-Christian) society.

To be honest, while de Tocqueville had some very interesting things to say about the US, it was 200 years ago. That said, I think Prager both overstates the historic record of our having a secular government, and doesn’t see the irony that it is in fact the secular redefinition of our government in the last half-century that has led us to where we are today (and I say that as a Good Thing).

Not only has this combination been unique, it has been uniquely successful. America, therefore, poses as mortal a threat to radical secularism as it does to Islamic totalitarianism. Each understands that America’s success means its demise.

To the extent that radical secularists — who I suppose we can define as folks who want to do away with all religious expression in the public, and, preferably, the private forum — and radical religionists, who want to impose a religious cast (of their choosing) on both public and private life, are threatened by the multiplicity of American social religious expression and by the rigorous walls that have been set up around governmental involvement with and sponsorship of sectarian religion, I’d agree.

This is a major reason why the Left so opposes anti-Islamism (just as it opposed anti-communism). In theory, the Left should be at least as opposed to the Islamists as is the Right. But the Left is preoccupied first with destroying America’s distinctive values — a Judeo-Christian society (as opposed to a secular one), capitalism (as opposed to socialism), liberty (as opposed to equality) and exceptionalism (as opposed to universalism, multiculturalism and multilateralism). So, if the Islamists are fellow anti-Americans, the Left figures it can worry about them later.

In broad strokes, I can see where Prager is coming from with this. That the Hard Left seems to spend more time spewing bile at George Bush than at Saddam Hussein, or the mullahs of Iran, or the nutcase running North Korea, is as deep an indictment of their moral standing as the insistence on personal liberty, but only as long as it doesn’t involve gays doing icky things with each other, stands as an indictment of the Hard Right’s.

That said, Prager seems to be lumping an awful lot of positions under the banner of “the Left” — everyone from puppet-toting transnationalist anti-globalization protesters to … well, since I’m in favor of allowing gay marriage, me. Which is kind of funny, given that a lot of folks would probably think I’m a lost closer to Dennis Prager than, say, Noam Chomsky.

Prager, though, seems to be drawing hard lines. If you’re in favor of gay marriage, is the message, then you’re in favor of a whole raft of other Lefty lunacy. Which seems to be a gross oversimplification.

All this explains why the passions are so intense regarding same-sex marriage. Most of the activists in the movement to redefine marriage wish to overthrow the predominance of Judeo-Christian values in American life.

No doubt there are some who do. There are others who think that, given the highly-touted-by-Prager secular nature of our government, how the government treats marriage should also be as secular as possible.

Those who oppose same-sex marriage understand that redefining the central human institution marks the beginning of the end of Judeo-Christian civilization.

It’s difficult to take with a straight face that proposition. It certainly speaks poorly of Judeo-Christian civilization to think it so feeble.

Let us understand this redefinition as clearly as possible:

Oh, let’s.

With same-sex marriage, our society declares by law that mothers are unnecessary, since two men are equally ideal as mothers and as the creators of a family; and that fathers are unnecessary, since two women are equally ideal as parents and as the creators of a family.

The reality of the world is that there are many, many more children brought up in single parent homes, or in homes with neglectful parents of one or another (or both) genders, than are every likely to be raised by those gay couples who want to raise children. The “ideal” — assuming it can be defined to everyone’s satisfaction — is just that, the ideal.

And, of course, we allow gay individuals already to bear children, should they choose to. And we’ve allowed them to have custody of children. Ought we outlaw both? It seems to me that the added security of marriage — with both its privileges and responsibilities — would be good for kids of a gay parent.

Do I think having a female and male role model is important for kids of both genders? Sure. I think there are a lot of other things that are important for kids to grow up healthy and well-adjusted, too, but I don’t see society forbidding childbearing (let alone marriage) to those who are unable or unwilling to provide them.

With same-sex marriage, our society declares that there is nothing special or even necessarily desirable about a man and a woman bonding. What is sacred to the proponents of same-sex marriage is the number of people marrying (two, for the time being), not that a man and woman bond.

I think what is sacred is the bonding itself, the reasons for it, not the genders of the folk who choose to bond. The majority of those cases seem likely to always be male-female, and that’s great (speaking for myself, that’s wonderful). I don’t see why, for those for whom it doesn’t float their boat, that should be the only consideration.

With same-sex marriage, when taught in school about sex, marriage and family, children will have to be taught that male-male and female-female sex, love and marriage are identical to male-female sex, love and marriage. And when asked, “Who do you think you will marry when you grow up?” thanks to the ubiquitous images of media, far more children will consider members of the same sex.

And the problem here is …?

If this were 19th Century England, I might write,

With cross-class marriage, when taught in school about courting, marriage, and family, children will have to be taught that love and marriage between the upper and lower classes is identical to that between those of the upper class, or those of the lower class. And when asked, ‘Who do you think you will marry when you grow up?” thanks to the ubiquitous images of media, far more children will consider mates regardless of class.

Heck, there are circles in the US today where that would seem an equally profound and dire prediction. I could change around the words a bit and make it say “color,” too. Or set it in India and make it “caste.” Or set it in various theocracies and put “religion” in there.

Most Americans, though, would reject those distinctions, would reject that the world and civilization will go to heck in a handbag if we let those people date us people. Why we should lend credence to the argument when it’s about gender, I’m not altogether certain.

With same-sex marriage, no adoption agency will ever be able to prefer a married man and woman as prospective parents. Aside from the tragedy of denying untold numbers of children a mother and a father, this will lead to a drastic diminution in women placing children for adoption, since most of these women will prefer something that will then be illegal — that agencies place her child with a man and woman, not with two men or two women.

In other words, the prospect of adoption by a gay couple will so distress a “drastic” number of women that they’ll never consider putting their kids up for adoption. That strikes me as wildly unlikely.

Nonetheless, for those who are so distressed, I believe there are plenty of private adoption agencies that may, as private institutions, screen applicants based on criteria that public institutions may not. For example, a Christian adoption agency may insist on adoptive parents being Christian, and a woman can put her child up for adoption there with the knowledge that it will be raised by Christians, as opposed to (gasp) Jews or Muslims or some other dreaded heathen group … should that be of paramount importance to her.

With same-sex marriage, any media — films, advertisements, greeting cards — that only depict married couples as a woman and a man will be considered discriminatory and probably be sued.

No more than greeting cards that show married couples as white folk get sued by the NAACP.

Will there be an increased number of same-sex anniversary cards? Sure. But, again, given the relatively small number of gays in the population, I don’t expect it to be a very big market.

But I mean, come on now — we should rally folks to oppose gay marriage for the sake of the greeting card industry?

With same-sex marriage, those religious groups that only marry men and women will be deemed beyond the pale, marginalized and ostracized.

What happened to the much-touted barrier between secular government (which is responsible for legal things like marriage law) and society? The corollary of Prager’s argument seems to be that because most churches don’t approve of gay marriage now, it should not be allowed by secular government … which doesn’t seem to make the government all that secular, if you ask me.

I would not expect most Christian denominations (or others) that don’t currently support gay marriage to do so merely because it’s legal. There are a lot of things that are legal that various churches (including mainstream denominations) do not officially sanction. I do expect that, over time, some denominations will do so, as a reflection of social changes amongst their membership, just as some denominations, as a reflection of social attitudes about sex and race, allow women as clergy, or folks of different races as clergy.

If churches are so weak, though, that they cannot take a principled moral stand on what they believe because some or even most people in society point and laugh at them, then they aren’t very worth saving to begin with.

There have been many Christian countries, and they are no longer. They have been replaced by secular countries, and they are weakening. Only American civilization remains strong, and it does so because of its unique amalgam of values rooted in Judeo-Christian morality.

What has kept the US from falling into the trap of many other Western countries that were once more ostensibly Christian than we are, is that, for the most part, we’ve avoided entanglement between Church Law and Civil Law. There has been no Official Church of the State. In those nations where the Church dictates how things should be, then it becomes embodied as the Old Political Order; when that order changes (as it inevitably does), the Church loses its standing, too. France has gone that way; so, to some degree, has England.

In the US, expression of religious law within civil law has come about largely because of a relative homogeneity of religious faith; when everyone more or less agrees on the basics, those basics become universals. Even then, we’ve seen systemic and legal discrimination by the government against some religious groups because their faiths were different — Jews, Catholics, and Mormons come to mind.

To the extent that we have strengthened the secular nature of government, and recognized the heterogeneity of religious and spiritual viewpoints, we’ve improved matters. Trying to make government adhere to religious law per se, though, for the sake of keeping a particular religious viewpoint in society strong, seems bass-ackwards. If Prager truly believes in Judeo-Christian values in society as a key to America’s strength, he should be pushing for those values in society, not in law.

This civilization is now fighting for its life — as much here as abroad. Join the fight, or it will be gone as fast as you can say “Democrat.”

In a changing world, all things evolve to meet the change, or die. Our recognition of personal liberties for our citizens without regard to gender or race or religion is an adaptation we’ve made in the ongoing evolution of our society — the idea of a black woman as a respected cabinet official to the President, for example, would have appalled or sickened or panicked many of our Founding Fathers (and, likely, de Tocqueville). Those adaptations have been driven in many cases by evolving religious and philosophical sentiment amongst the populace, by recognition that what was taken for granted, sadly accepted, or even joyfully supported by our forefathers was not always wise or just.

With each of these changes, there have been those who have warned of the end of civilization. Should women get the vote, some said, our nation and culture are doomed. Should blacks be given an equal place at the table, and be allowed to intermarry with whites, it will mean the mongrelization of our Great White Society. It is ironic that Prager, often a very intelligent and insightful commentator, should find himself echoing the same bankrupt cries of gloom and doom as have come before.

If it walks down the aisle like a duck …

John Kerry has (maybe) backed making state gay civil unions functionally equivalent to marriage as far as federal rights and benefits are concerned. “It’s the first time in history that…

John Kerry has (maybe) backed making state gay civil unions functionally equivalent to marriage as far as federal rights and benefits are concerned.

“It’s the first time in history that a presidential candidate has ever supported full and equal protection for same-sex couples,” said state Rep. Mark Leno, a San Francisco Democrat and an early Kerry supporter who attended Friday’s fundraiser and queried Kerry about his position. “He told me that he would grant all 1,049 federal rights to same-sex couples in whatever legal union their states recognize,” said Leno, who has sponsored a bill that would legalize gay marriage in California.

Or maybe not.

Kerry spokeswoman Stephanie Cutter did not dispute Leno’s characterization of the meeting, but said Kerry was responding to very specific yes or no questions put to him. She portrayed his answer as in keeping with his general support for “providing federal benefits for state-recognized same-sex couples. . . . He has not reviewed the over thousand benefits but stands by his commitment to equality.”

The devil, of course, is always in the details.

But, again, that raises the question of, if you’re going to consider it precisely the same, why use a different word for it?

(One might also ask if the various federal obligations and responsibilities associated with marriage will also be imposed on gay civil unions. One would, if the bennies are to be there, hope so. After all, that’s part of marriage, too.)

Kerry’s walking a serious tight rope here, trying to appeal to those who support gay rights (including marriage), while not alienating folks who are not as comfortable with the idea (or who actively oppose it). He’s previously said he’s against gay marriage, but has voiced opposition to a Federal constitutional amendment. He supports a Massachusetts state constitutional amendment banning it, though, but only as long as it allows for civil unions. As a result, nobody is terribly happy with him on the subject.

Plus, of course, it’s not as simple a position as Kerry paints it, not just a matter of executive order.

Kerry might have a hard time upholding his promise. Granting federal rights to same-sex couples contradicts a major provision of the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act, said Tobias Wolff, a professor at the Stanford University School of Law and an expert on gay legal issues.
The provisions state that federal benefits for married people may not apply to same-sex couples, and that judgments stemming from a same-sex union are not portable from state to state. While marriage and civil unions are not considered a “judgment” in legal terms, divorce, child support and probate are judgments. That means, Wolff said, that a legal mess could ensue if a partner who is dissatisfied with the litigated decision regarding, say, divorce, in one state, decided to litigate in another state.

Stay tuned …

Down the interstate

While I gather that David Frum is not particularly in favor of gay marriage, I think his points on how a state-by-state solution won’t work are very well taken. Through…

While I gather that David Frum is not particularly in favor of gay marriage, I think his points on how a state-by-state solution won’t work are very well taken.

Through a series of hypothetical questions, he demonstrates the following thesis. Americans may live in states, but they conduct their financial and legal lives in a united country bound by interstate institutions. Being married (or “united”) in just one state, unrecognized anywhere else, will carry with it tremendous risks for the couple should the venture outside of their state, personally or financially. As the questions Frum gives show, such an arrangement can only end in a situations that are as tragically unfair as gay couples face today — and as likely to provoke further law suits regarding the “full faith” provisions in the Constitution.

A national resolution to the “marriage” question will have to be determined, one way or the other. We may be able to finesse civil unions to be contractual arrangements of a business-like nature, but to tie into society’s expectation of what marriage should legally and naturally imply will require something on a national, thus Federal, level.

(via Sensing)

Forbidden discussion

I am not usually one to ban any particular discussion or sentiment from being raised here, but, I swear, if anyone hoists the following canard up, I will smack them…

I am not usually one to ban any particular discussion or sentiment from being raised here, but, I swear, if anyone hoists the following canard up, I will smack them about the head and shoulders with a wet newspaper:

Current law on marriage does not discriminate against gay people. After all, they can still marry, and, under the law, they are eligible to marry just whom everyone else is: someone of the opposite gender. Since they have the same rights as everyone else, there is not discrimination, let alone bias or prejudice, involved.

This one strikes me as so jaw-droppingly insulting — both to the intelligence of the listener and to the sensibilities of gay people — that it defies belief. Consider it one of my hot-buttons, because whenever I hear it, I see red.

Much has been argued over the parallels between the racial civil rights movement of the 50s-60s and the orientation civil rights movement of today. While analogies can be suspect, I think the similarities tend to outweigh the differences. So, for example, let us consider miscegenation laws, which are closest to current anti-gay marriage laws. Consider someone from Alabama c. 1936 saying the following:

Current law on marriage does not discriminate against people of color. After all, they can still marry, and, under the law, they are eligible to marry just whom everyone else is: someone of the same race. Since they have the same rights as everyone else, there is not discrimination, let alone bias or prejudice, involved.

But that’s completely unreasonable, one might exclaim. What harm does it do for a black and a white person to marry? Why should a black person who wishes to marry a white person — or a white person who wishes to marry a black — be so restricted? Saying that a white person can marry whomever they want, as long as it’s white — is like saying someone can proclaim whatever political speech they want, so long as it’s pro-government. Or that they can go to whatever church they want, so long as it’s the one they grew up in. Or that someone of Italian heritage can marry whomever they want, so long as it’s another person of Italian heritage. It’s absurd, and insulting.

Exactly. And I believe that the same applies to to the same argument when framed in terms of gay marriage.

There are plenty of other arguments I’ve heard against gay marriage. I disagree with most, if not all of them, but at least they bear discussion. This particular one, however, seems so completely missing of the point that it simply boggles the mind.

So don’t, okay? Because seeing red and/or being mind-boggled is not something I need these days.

Splitting hairs

Let’s see. George W. Bush backs an amendment to the Federal constitution that would ban recognition of gay marriage on a federal level, but would allow states to define other…

Let’s see. George W. Bush backs an amendment to the Federal constitution that would ban recognition of gay marriage on a federal level, but would allow states to define other arrangements, such as civil unions.

John Kerry now backs an amendment to the Massachusetts state constitution, that would ban gay marriage in the state, but would define another arrangement, such as civil unions.

Bush is called a desperate, divisive homophobe who’s pandering to the Theocratic Right. Kerry, so far as I can tell, isn’t.

Not quite sure why, though I think they’re both wrong with this policy.

Line in the sand?

Pressed, inadvertently or intentionally, by his supporters on the Right and events in Massachussetts and San Francisco, Bush has declared his support for a Constitutional Amendment banning gay marriage. Today,…

Pressed, inadvertently or intentionally, by his supporters on the Right and events in Massachussetts and San Francisco, Bush has declared his support for a Constitutional Amendment banning gay marriage.

Today, I call upon the Congress to promptly pass and to send to the states for ratification an amendment to our Constitution defining and protecting marriage as a union of a man and woman as husband and wife.
The amendment should fully protect marriage, while leaving the state legislatures free to make their own choices in defining legal arrangements other than marriage.

It will be interesting to see how this plays out as an election issue. Kerry and Edwards have been against gay marriage, but can they maneuver this into being a question of whether an Amendment is the right approach without the discussion sounding pedantic (and their potential gay supporters not getting torqued at the hemming and hawing)? After all, the DOMA was passed pretty substantially in Congress by both parties, and was signed into place by Clinton; we’re not talking about fringe politics here.

And, for what it’s worth, Bush wisely (or cleverly) left the door open to the states to make alternative arrangements (i.e., civil unions) if they choose, which is more than some of the proposed Amendments floating around were willing to do, and that’s actually seems to be what the mainstream population is willing to accept. How those unions, as contracts, would be respected in states without them will be interesting to see (as will whether steps of this sort will, as I’ve worried about before, marginalize marriage and make civil unions the norm, not the exception).

To a degree, though, this has to be considered an election issue, albeit one pushed forward by events. No Amendment is going to get passed this year. Hell, one might not get passed through an entire Bush second term.

So …

… clever election year tactic to pin down Bush’s opponents, either disarm them or force them to take an unpopular opinion during an election year?
… despicable pandering to the Religious Right?
… measured response to judicial activists and local civil disobedience?
… fear-mongering and wedge-driving?
… reflection of current popular opinion?
… radical extremism to amend the Constitution to forestall a given class of people sharing equal protection under the law?
… a middle course between centralism and federalism?

I’m in favor of gay marriage being legal. I’ve made that clear, and will continue to. I think this amendment is not in keeping with the principles of equality and equal protection, and reflects, at best, the ambivalence and apprehension that the American public feels about this issue. That they do feel that ambivalence and apprehension is troubling to me, and unfortunate, but it’s a reality.

How this proposal gets spun during an election year will be both entertaining and frustrating to see. I expect a lot of heat over a very narrow range of opinions, at least between the leading candidates (Nader notwithstanding).

Central issue? Swell.

I think this is a mistake, both in absolute terms and political. Gay marriage will be a “central” issue in the upcoming presidential election, and that will likely benefit Republicans,…

I think this is a mistake, both in absolute terms and political.

Gay marriage will be a “central” issue in the upcoming presidential election, and that will likely benefit Republicans, House Majority Leader Tom DeLay said Thursday.
“I think it will be central,” DeLay, R-Texas, told reporters before addressing the Knox County Republican Party’s annual Lincoln Day Dinner at Rothchild’s. “Every now and then, an issue that is central to who you are and what your world view is comes along.”
Americans “have been tolerant of homosexuality for years, but now it’s being stuffed down their throats and they don’t like it,” DeLay said. “They know it will undermine the very foundation of this society, will undermine our understanding of what families are. Polls tell us that over 70 percent of Americans believe that a marriage is between a man and a woman, no matter what you call it.”

I find the line “Americans have been tolerant of homosexuality for years” to be a bit disingenuous on DeLay’s part. But regardless …

Here’s a thought I have about the American people. They don’t like surprises or big changes. To that extent, DeLay is correct. If they feel something is being stuffed down their throats, they’ll rebel.

But the American people are also fundamentally fair, and, once they get over their surprise, they can get used to most anything. What will really get them torqued is feeling like they are being exploited, like they are being told what they feel and that their beliefs on an issue are being taken for granted — ultimately, that an attitude they no longer share is being “stuffed down their throats.”

Once the American people get the idea of gay marriage past the jaw-dropping stage, continuing to push against it is likely to provoke a sizeable backlash. The more that the GOP attempts to use this as a wedge issue, and to take a loud and righteous stand as The Party Against Gay Marriages (no matter how it’s dressed up as “traditional values”), the more they are liable to suddenly find themselves seen by the American people as The Party of Bigotry. It’s an image that it’s still struggling against after kneejerk opposition to the Kennedy-Johnson civil rights era (and the GOP’s embrace of conservative Dixiecrats). It’s an image that will be an embarrassment, and worse, in a decade or two.

If the GOP were politically savvy, they wouldn’t make a big deal about it. Oppose gay marriage, if that’s the ideological stand they want to take, sure. But low-key, regretfully but firmly. Americans like and respect quiet sincerity. Demagoguery and End-of-Civilization-as-We-Know-It Rhetoric will only, ultimately, turn folks off, especially once the American people get used to gay partnerships, civil unions, and, yes, even gay marriage, and begin to wonder what the hell the fuss was about, and why the GOP was ever so adamently opposed to it.

Or so I think.

(And, for what it’s worth, I think the Dems will do better with the issue with a similarly low-key campaign — though, frankly, the Dem presidential candidates have been as luke-warm on the whole matter as Bush as been luke-cool. If the Dems try to use this as a wedge issue, and associate it with absolutist rhetoric at the top of their lungs, they may appeal to their “base,” but they’ll alienate just as many people. Which would be a hell of a shame, given what’s at stake.)

(via Scott)

More of that gay marriage stuff

Two articles from Julia: The first is from a conservative commentator who’s even more dedicated to marriage as a moral imperative than I am — and thus is adament that…

Two articles from Julia:

The first is from a conservative commentator who’s even more dedicated to marriage as a moral imperative than I am — and thus is adament that conservatives ought to be leading the charge toward gay marriage.

The conservative course is not to banish gay people from making such commitments. It is to expect that they make such commitments. We shouldn’t just allow gay marriage. We should insist on gay marriage. We should regard it as scandalous that two people could claim to love each other and not want to sanctify their love with marriage and fidelity.

A bit more extreme in places than I would frame it, but worth showing to all your conservative friends and family.

The second is a tongue-in-cheek list of reasons why gay marriage is a bad thing:

3. Obviously, gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if Gay marriage is allowed, since Britney Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.
5. Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are property, blacks can’t marry whites, and divorce is illegal.

Good stuff.

I fought the law

Xkot quotes, in the context of the gay marriage brouhaha in San Francisco: Anyone in a free society where the laws are unjust has an obligation to break the law….

Xkot quotes, in the context of the gay marriage brouhaha in San Francisco:

Anyone in a free society where the laws are unjust has an obligation to break the law.
— Henry David Thoreau

To which I’d add:

If we desire respect for the law, we must first make the law respectable.
— Justice Louis Brandeis (1856-1941), Attributed (1912)
Good men must not obey the laws too well.
— Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)
Rightful liberty is unobstructed action according to our will within limits drawn around us by the equal rights of others. I do not add “within the limits of the law,” because law is often but the tyrant’s will, and always so when it violates the rights of the individual.
— Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826)
One who breaks an unjust law that conscience tells him is unjust, and who willingly accepts the penalty of imprisonment in order to arouse the conscience of the community over its injustice, is in reality expressing the highest respect for law.
— Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. (1929-1968), Letter from Birmingham Jail (1964)

On the other hand:

It is a besetting vice of democracies to substitute public opinion for law. This is the usual form in which masses of men exhibit their tyranny.
— James Fenimore Cooper (1789-1851), _The American Democrat_ (1838)

and:

I know no method to secure the repeal of bad or obnoxious laws so effective as their stringent execution.
— Ulysses S. Grant (1822-1885), Inaugural Address

and, of course:

What right does Congress have to go around making laws just because they deem it necessary?
— Marion S. Barry, Jr. (b. 1936), Attributed

The main problem being, of course, that “unjust” is a relative term, and what our neighbor considers to be a just breaking of a law to obey a higher sense of justice may, to us, be anarchy, tyranny, or just plain old reprehensible.

To take the current example, the city of San Francisco is disobeying state law and issuing marriage licenses to gays. Some folk consider that law as unjust (I certainly do), and so applaud SF’s actions.

On the other hand, if the city government were handing out syringes of heroin, letting people buy machine guns, or putting large displays of the Ten Commandments up on city property — each of which would violate laws that some folk think are unjust — I suspect that very different constituencies would applaud and condemn them.

I think King’s formulation is best, because it recognizes civil disobedience as an individual act (not a governmental one), and it requires folks to take responsibility for their flouting of the law. Civil disobedience is meant to stir up the conscience to see the law changed, not to promote disrespect for the law per se.

While I agree with the sentiment of the San Francisco city government in this, if I’m going to condemn other thumb-nosing at laws by other communities, I have to condemn it, as well. There are certainly other, and better, avenues available to change or overturn the state law in question (a ballot proposition, so truly the vox populi) than simply ignoring it.

Sacramental

Word is that Bush will today back a constitutional amendment defining marriage as a heterosexual-only institution, at least so far as the Federal Government is concerned (and as it impacts…

Word is that Bush will today back a constitutional amendment defining marriage as a heterosexual-only institution, at least so far as the Federal Government is concerned (and as it impacts the states if/when other states make it legal).

Stupid, stupid, stupid …

Not necessarily politically stupid. Middle America is still pretty conflicted over the issue, and the idea that the courts are (rightfully, but impolitically) forcing the issue before they’re ready for it. By staking out this position, Bush forces Kerry to either “me too” (alienating some liberal activists) or run against such an amendment (alienating some moderates) — or try to weasel around with separate-but-sorta-equal civil unions (alienating both liberals and moderates).

No, it’s stupid because … well, because I think it’s an awful idea.

Bush signaled the direction of his thinking in last month’s State of the Union address, where he stopped just short of endorsing an amendment but said the nation “must defend the sacrament of marriage.”

If the President had said that the nation “must defend the sacrament of communion” or “must defend the sacrament of baptism” or “must defend the sacrament of holy orders,” he’d have been hooted off the stage. We don’t write constitutional amendments to defend religious institutions — except from governmental interference.

I’ve nattered on about this subject at length, so no need to repeat myself. But … hrm. For all the uncertainty over this issue in the electorate, a lot of it is, I think, due to it being new and unfamiliar. If it becomes a national debate, it’s altogether likely that the shock of having to address it may give way to reasoned and familiar acceptance. In which case, it could backfire on Bush.

And, for what it’s worth, there are a lot of folks who disagree with Bush on a number of social issues, but have been willing to put them aside because of geopolitical issues (ahem). By bringing the focus back to social stuff, the Bush team may make that compromise a lot more difficult to maintain.

Separate but equal?

Thanks to Les for reminding me about the Massachussetts Supremes’ ruling on gay marriage. First, read what he said (which was mostly what others said, particuarly Solonor), then come back…

Thanks to Les for reminding me about the Massachussetts Supremes’ ruling on gay marriage. First, read what he said (which was mostly what others said, particuarly Solonor), then come back here. I’ll wait …

Well, yeah. What they said.

The problem seems to be with the whole “Marriage is a sacred institution” meme. Probably we’d be a lot better off if we distinguished between Marriage and Matrimony. It’s fine to say that the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony was ordained by God and blessed by Jesus. As a religious institution, I have no problem with folks drawing lines to include or exclude anyone they want (hopefully with politeness, but that’s another rant). Churches should be free to include or exclude anyone they want. If you want to belong to the First Church of Joe-Bob, whose members can only marry if they can sing “Memories” to the satisfaction of the Grand High Poobah, that’s your look-out. If I don’t like it, I can go join another church.

But marriage as a civil institution is deeply embedded in law and regulation. And something sacred and religious has no business being so codified, because then you get people passing laws and regs because God Ordains It — which is, one thinks, what the First Amendment was all about not letting happen. And God (or, more particularly, folks interpretting for Her) has Ordained some pretty cracked stuff over the centuries.

Of course, if you amend the Constitution (state or federal), you can trump that. Of course, you could also amend it to forbid miscegenation, or require folks to cross themselves three times a day, or to ban sale and consumption meat on Fridays. Just because something can be amended to the Constitution means it’s a good idea (see “Prohibition”).

My concern over this whole debate has been that by reserving the word and institution of (civil) marriage to straight couples, a parallel body and patchwork of law would be set up under the rubric of “civil union.” That would be a shame, because, frankly, marriage law works relatively well, and has quite a bit of precedent behind it working out the kinks (so to speak). Trying to cut and paste and come up with something New and Improved like CUs is asking for trouble. And, by the same token, it would marginalize marriage, since it would be easier to get into (and, possibly, out of), so that, ultimately, civil marriage would be relatively meaningless, and marriage would be a church thang, not a civil one. Which is what folks want the distinction drawn for now, so why wait.

Now I see that approach has one other flaw. As the MassSupes noted, “separate but equal” rarely is. We saw that with race. Separate bathrooms and drinking fountains and areas of the bus were rarely not equal; setting up a separate marriage ghetto and calling it “civil unions” isn’t going to be equal, either, and Americans should reject that approach.

What irks me about all of this is that it feels like such a knee-jerk reaction from so many conservatives. For me, at least, my marriage to Margie, as a holy and sacred thing, has nothing to do with the paperwork filed with the state of California. If that paperwork had been lost, it would not have meant a whit in the face of what I think it means, religiously, as a sacred bond between us. And it is that bond I recognize when I see gay couples married (using the real word and everything) in churches that allow such things. From a sacred aspect, I give those unions infinitely more weight than something done by half-tippled couples in Vegas at the Elvis Marriage-o-Mat. Or, again, from the sacred standpoint, a lot more weight that folks who just go down to the local justice of the peace or county courthouse.

But the state has decided to recognize folks who go into the county courthouse and have a strictly secular ceremony. No mention of God. No need for prayers and oaths and consideration of whether the people getting married consider this sacred or simply romantic or customary. Pay your money, file your papers, make the pledge, get recognized by the state as married.

Unless you’re of the same gender, of course. That makes that secular ceremony into something — um, un-sacred. Somehow.

I’m not suggesting that the Catholic Church, for example, be forced to marry gay couples. I would strongly resist anyone forcing them to do so, in fact — their teaching on homosexuality, whatever I might think of them, are theirs, and while I might debate them, I would never have the law force the church into abandoning them. (Issues of employment law are a related matter, which is why that’s such a messy debate.)

But the issue of gay marriage isn’t about forcing churches, or church-goers, to see an “abomination” going on up at the altar. It’s about opening the doors to equality in a civil institution to folks who are breaking no law, and who simply seek to civilly affirm their personal life-bonds. If we’re going to open it up to straight couples, we have to do so for gay couples — or we have to get the government out of the marriage business altogether, which would be a greater defeat for the conservatives (and, I think, for society) than letting gay couples marry per se.

Poll cuts

Quel surprise. The web poll by the American Family Association on the nassty nasstiness of gay marriage will not get presented to Congress after all, as originally promised. Seems it…

Quel surprise. The web poll by the American Family Association on the nassty nasstiness of gay marriage will not get presented to Congress after all, as originally promised.

Seems it turns out that the poll didn’t show that the vast majority of red-blooded Americans disapproved of gay marriage, but just the opposite.

But the AFA never counted on the power of the Internet. And once the URL to the poll escaped its intended audience, everything went haywire. As of Jan. 19, 60 percent of respondents — more than 508,000 voters — said, “I favor legalization of homosexual marriage.” With an additional 7.89 percent — or 66,732 voters — replying, “I favor a ‘civil union’ with the full benefits of marriage except for the name,” the AFA’s chosen position, “I oppose legalization of homosexual marriage and ‘civil unions,'” was being defeated by a 2-1 ratio.

Of course, a web poll is inherently meaningless, since it only reflects the opinions of those who (a) find it, and (b) feel like filling it out. That doesn’t stop folks from posting them up there, since it lets them wave around convincing-sounding percentages that, 99.99% of the time, support exactly the position that they want supported.

After all, you put a web poll up on the page of a conservative religious organization, you figure the folks who see it and take it will be conservative and religious, and probably in agreement with your position on the matter (since otherwise, why would they be at your web site?).

That falls apart, though, when the word gets out and people decide to skew the data some other way. As apparently happened here.

It’s all, of course, a big conspiracy by the nassssty gay activists and their nasssty God-hating liberal Commie-symp atheistic allies.

“We’re very concerned that the traditional state of marriage is under threat in our country by homosexual activists,” said AFA representative Buddy Smith. “It just so happens that homosexual activist groups around the country got a hold of the poll — it was forwarded to them — and they decided to have a little fun, and turn their organizations around the country (onto) the poll to try to cause it to represent something other than what we wanted it to. And so far, they succeeded with that.”

You have to give them credit. They’re honest enough to admit that they had in mind what they wanted the poll to “represent” when they gave it to Congres.

Now, Smith says, his organization has had to abandon its goal of taking the poll to Capitol Hill. “We made the decision early on not to do that,” Smith admitted, “because of how, as I say, the homosexual activists around the country have done their number on it.

As opposed to the anti-homosexual activists they’d expected to do a number on it.

Feh. And, heh.

(via DGDD)

“… And it is us”

Some thoughts about the “true” enemies of marriage. Unfortunately, the conservative argument against gay marriage often reeks of hypocrisy. Our society stopped viewing marriage as a sacred (God-ordained) institution long…

Some thoughts about the “true” enemies of marriage.

Unfortunately, the conservative argument against gay marriage often reeks of hypocrisy. Our society stopped viewing marriage as a sacred (God-ordained) institution long ago. Since the invention of no-fault divorce laws, divorce rates have skyrocketed. Now, almost half of all marriages end in divorce.
Even in the conservative Christian community, divorce is rampant. As the only lawyer in my church (a very conservative Pentecostal congregation), I frequently receive telephone calls from fellow church members requesting assistance on child custody matters, property division and other divorce-related questions.
I have fielded so many questions about divorce that I am sometimes surprised when I encounter middle-aged congregants who have not been previously married. The gay community could not treat their marriage vows any worse than many Christians treat their own.

RTWT.

(via Andrew Sullivan)

Skewed

The American Family Association, a conservative (to charitably understate the matter) “traditional family values” group, is conducting a poll on gay marriage. Internet polls are wildly unreliable, given their self-selecting…

The American Family Association, a conservative (to charitably understate the matter) “traditional family values” group, is conducting a poll on gay marriage.

Internet polls are wildly unreliable, given their self-selecting nature (in this case the people most likely to take the poll are people who see it mentioned at the AFA website, which means they’re likely already disposed toward a given view of the matter). Nonetheless, the AFA will be presenting the results to Congress at some future date, and Congresscritters with a less-than-solid grasp of statistics and polling beyond raw numbers may be influenced by it.

So … why not make the poll more scientific by publicizing it beyond the AFA page? Like, say, here?

It’s a pretty straightforward and reasonably worded instrument, remarkably enough:

America’s Poll on Homosexual Marriage
– I oppose legalization of homosexual marriage and “civil unions”
– I favor legalization of homosexual marriage
– I favor a “civil union” with the full benefits of marriage except for the name

So go take the poll and maybe help hand the AFA some statistical surprises. Sure, it will probably end up getting you on some bizarre mailing lists — but that could be entertaining, too.

(via Marc)

Squawking points

Been a while (at least a week or so) since I delved back into this one, but why the heck not … SfAD links to this little ditty, “Talking Points…

Been a while (at least a week or so) since I delved back into this one, but why the heck not …

SfAD links to this little ditty, “Talking Points on Marriage,” though it’s more “Talking Points on Why Marriage Between the Opposite Sexes Is the Only True Marriage.” It was written by Robert Knight, who is identified as one of the drafters of the existing Federal DOMA.

Marriage is of such importance that it is uniquely protected in the law and culture. It predates the law and the Constitution, and is an anthropological and sociological reality, not primarily a legal one.

Which is why you wrote the Defense of Marriage Act, and are pushing for a Constitutional Amendment on the subject. Right.

UPDATE: Put the rest into the Extended Entry to reduce its massive footprint. Just click on the “more” below.

Continue reading “Squawking points”

We are family

Scott is in a tizzy over the tale of a Canadian gay couple denied entry into the US by Customs. I understand the moral outrage, and think it is a…

Scott is in a tizzy over the tale of a Canadian gay couple denied entry into the US by Customs.

I understand the moral outrage, and think it is a stupid-ass policy. That being said, it was both a legal and proper thing for the Customs agents involved to do.

Two gay Canadian men who are legally wed in Ontario say they were refused entry into the United States today after a U.S. customs official at the airport wouldn’t accept their customs clearance form declaring themselves a family. Kevin Bourassa and Joe Varnell say they abandoned their trip to Georgia when the customs official at Pearson International Airport rejected their family customs declaration form, insisting that they fill out separate forms as single people.
After complaining to a customs supervisor, Bourassa said the couple was told that they wouldn’t be allowed into the United States as a family because the country doesn’t recognize same-sex marriages.
“When we realized we weren’t going to be allowed into the country, we had to make a real hard decision,” Bourassa, claiming a violation of human rights, said in an interview from the couple’s Toronto home.
“We could have filled out separate forms, but how much of your dignity do you want to have chipped away? We feel we had an affront to our dignity, so we decided to go back home.”

Which was certainly their prerogative to do, and more power to them for doing so.

But …

First off, the couple was not, as the headline implies, denied entry into the US because they were gay, or because they were married in Canada. They were not allowed to declare themselves a “family” or a married couple, to US Customs officials; because they would not declare in the fashion that Customs determined was the legal requirement, they were not allowed to proceed. It’s a subtle difference, perhaps, but it makes all the difference in this case.

The fact is, gay marriage is not legal in the US. In fact, under US law (DOMA, if not explicitly in Customs regulations), marriage between same-sex couples are not recognized as such, by definition.

So it is reasonable, if deplorable, that Customs would not allow such a couple to identify themselves on a formal piece of documentation as a married family. That they are recognized as married in Ontario is meaningless to US law; they are not defined as married in the US, by the US government, and it is to the US government that they are making the declaration on their Customs form.

And, yes, it is stupid, and unfair, and did I mention stupid? But calling on the Customs folks involved to be fired is as ridiculous as saying that police that arrest someone for a stupid or unfair law should be fired. No, the law should be changed.

Now, the only legalistic caveat I can see here would be to find out how more prominent dignitaries from other lands wiith marriage customs laws that are different from our own are handled. For example, if a male dignitary from a land where polygamy is legal (say, Saudi Arabia, or certain African nations) were to arrive with a number of his female wives in tow, what would be the Customs policy on what sort of form they needed to fill out? Certainly marriages 2-thru-N would not be legal within the US, and, by that same token, should not be recognized by Customs.

If such folks are, in fact, allowed to enter the country filling out a single “family” custom form, then there’s an illegal and unethical double-standard being drawn here. (It’s possible, of course, that most, or even all such cases are dealt with through diplomatic channels, bypassing the question.)

Of course, this also is an indication why federalizing marriage law (which DOMA did, and proposed Constitutional Amendments would do as well) is a bad idea. Even with in the US, there are differeing standards, state-to-state, of what constitutes a legal marriage, both procedural and existential. What’s the legal age of marriage? Varies from state to state (and should Customs officials block “family” declarations if one or the other partner was below the lowest age of consent in the US when the wedding took place?) Ditto on consanguinity laws (should Customs establish what level of consanguinity is involved in a marriage before allowing a “family” declaration?).

Expect this sort of thing to get a lot more press in the future. And, sooner or later, it’s going to raise a lot bigger stink than this incident did. And remember that as well when middle-of-the-road DOMA defenders grant that gay civil unions or simple contractual relationships are “just as good” as formal married status. They’re not, for reasons just like this.

UPDATE: Arrgh. I forgot me pirate accent on this one. Ah, well, this pirate declares that DOMA (signed into law by that scurvy dog, Bill Clinton back in ’96) is a bucket o’ bilge water, and we ought to keelhaul the lubberly crew that passed it. So far as this pirate’s concerned, the poor fellows above were family, and by rights ought to have been treated as such, but for the cravenly creatures, both Donkeys and Elephants, that put such a law on the books.