Monty Python’s “We’re the Knights of the Round Table,” as (ostensibly) sung by the crew of the original Star Trek. Never mind the Vader thing — this is freaking hilarious….
Monty Python’s “We’re the Knights of the Round Table,” as (ostensibly) sung by the crew of the original Star Trek. Never mind the Vader thing — this is freaking hilarious.
(via Solonor)
Fascinating essay on humor under communist regimes — and how the theory that it was all about small, personal acts of rebellion is simplistic (anecdotes of both Stalin and Kruschev…
Fascinating essay on humor under communist regimes — and how the theory that it was all about small, personal acts of rebellion is simplistic (anecdotes of both Stalin and Kruschev telling communist jokes are included, for example). A lot of funny stuff, and a lot of poignant stuff, too.
In the 1960s, the Soviet bloc was deluged by a flood of new jokes. There were around 20 subcategories.
The most popular theme was the economy: One housewife to another: “I hear there’ll be snow tomorrow”—”Well, I’m not queuing for that.”
There were jokes about Soviet propaganda: The capitalists are standing at the edge of the abyss. Soon communism will overtake capitalism.
There were gags about Marxist-Leninist theory: Why is the individual placed in the centre of socialism? So it’s easy to kick him from all sides.
There were jokes about communist art: What is the difference between painters of the naturalist, impressionist and the socialist realist schools? The naturalists paint as they see, the impressionists as they feel, the socialist realists as they are told.
There were jokes about communist-style democracy: When was the first Russian election? The time that God put Eve in front of Adam and said, “Go ahead, choose your wife.”
And, of course, there were Jewish communist jokes: “Hey Hymee, how’s your brother Joseph?” “He’s living in Prague and building socialism.” “And didn’t you have a sister, Judith—how’s she doing?” “She’s well too—living in Budapest and creating a communist future.” “And your older brother Bernie?” “Oh he moved to Israel.” “And is he building socialism there too?” “What, are you crazy? Do you think he’d do that in his own country?”
An entertaining read.
Or Photoshopped suggestions thereof. Hi-larious….
Or Photoshopped suggestions thereof. Hi-larious.
In honor of 6/6/06, the Date of the Number of the Beast … 666 = number of the beast 665 = older brother of the beast 660 = approximate number…
In honor of 6/6/06, the Date of the Number of the Beast …
666 = number of the beast
665 = older brother of the beast
660 = approximate number of the beast
66600 = ZIP code of the beast
1/666 = common denominator of the beast
DCLXVI = Roman numeral of the Beast
666.0000 = Number of the High Precision Beast
0.666 = Number of the Millibeast
/ 666 = Beast Common Denominator
(-666) ^ (1/2) = Imaginary number of the Beast
6.66 e3 = Floating point Beast
1010011010 = Binary of the Beast
6, uh . . . what was that number again? = Number of the Blonde Beast
1-666 = Area code of the Beast
666 mph = The speed limit of the Beast
$665.95 = Retail price of the Beast
$699.25 = Price of the Beast plus 5% state sales tax
$769.95 = Price of the Beast with all accessories and replacement soul
$656.66 = Wal-mart price of the Beast
$646.66 = Next week’s Wal-mart price of the Beast
Phillips 666 = Gasoline of the Beast
Route 666 = Way of the Beast
666 F = Oven temperature for roast Beast
666(k) = Retirement plan of the Beast
666 mg = Recommended Minimum Daily Requirement of Beast
6.66 % = 5 year CD interest rate at First Beast of Hell National Bank, $666 minimum deposit.
$666/hr = Beast’s lawyer’s billing rate
Lotus 6-6-6 = Spreadsheet of the Beast
Word 6.66 = Word Processor of the Beast
666i = BMW of the Beast
DSM-666(r) = Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the Beast
1232 Octal, Apt. 29A = Beast’s hexed address
668 = Next-door neighbor of the Beast
333 = The semi-Christ
(via GeekPress)
Ted has the scoop. Frankly, I think the US Mint could make, er, a mint out of the Louisiana ones ……
Ted has the scoop. Frankly, I think the US Mint could make, er, a mint out of the Louisiana ones …
Investigate and display other important news stories here. (via Les)…
Aha! I knew if I kept pounding away at it, I’d find where these were tucked. (via B&P)…
Where is the government when we need it!? Rotation Of Earth Plunges Entire North American Continent Into Darkness NEW YORK—Millions of eyewitnesses watched in stunned horror Tuesday as light emptied…
Where is the government when we need it!?
Rotation Of Earth Plunges Entire North American Continent Into Darkness
NEW YORK—Millions of eyewitnesses watched in stunned horror Tuesday as light emptied from the sky, plunging the U.S. and neighboring countries into darkness. As the hours progressed, conditions only worsened.
[…] As the phenomenon hit New York, millions of motorists were forced to use their headlights to navigate through the blackness. Highways flooded with commuters who had left work to hurry home to their families. Traffic was bottlenecked for more than two hours in many major metropolitan areas.
Across the country, buses and trains are operating on limited schedules and will cease operation shortly after 12 a.m. EST, leaving hundreds of thousands of commuters in outlying areas effectively stranded in their homes.
In related news, the Bush Administration announced the need for sweeping new homeland security powers “for as long as there is a possibility of this event recurring.”
“You’re either with us, or you’re with the forces of darkness,” said the President.
Six Breakfast Cereals Argue Why They Should Replace Cheerios As The Preferred Finger Food For Babies. Life: Let’s get real. Unless you plan on keeping your kid in an ivory…
Six Breakfast Cereals Argue Why They Should Replace Cheerios As The Preferred Finger Food For Babies.
Life: Let’s get real. Unless you plan on keeping your kid in an ivory highchair forever, you have to teach him about sharp edges. Problems don’t dissolve as soon as your saliva touches them, like those flimsy Os do. Just try drooling all over that lien on your house and see how far it gets you. I’m tough, stringy, and make your gums bleed. That’s why they call me Life. I’ll show your baby that he has to chew hard on challenges, and that mashing his enemies into a fibrous pulp is worth the pain. Try me yourself. Without milk. Right now. I dare you.
Just in time for Kaylee.
Okay, yeah, it is funny. Even if it’s not. Though it is, really….
Okay, yeah, it is funny. Even if it’s not. Though it is, really.
I don’t for a moment believe that these answers on the “classic” Hollywood Squares were unrehearsed and spontaneous, but they remain damned funny. Q. Do female frogs croak? A. Paul…
I don’t for a moment believe that these answers on the “classic” Hollywood Squares were unrehearsed and spontaneous, but they remain damned funny.
Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.Q. If you’re going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Three chords, C, Em and G, walked into a bar one evening. The bartender said “We don’t serve minors, here”, so Em left and C and G had a fifth…
Three chords, C, Em and G, walked into a bar one evening. The bartender said “We don’t serve minors, here”, so Em left and C and G had a fifth between them.
Later on, the Key of F walked in. The two chords said, “Why are you late?” He responded, “I had a flat.” After giving it some thought, he added, “But I’m thankful that I’m not the Key of Fm.”
(via J-Walk)
As a sequel to “Journal of a New COBRA Recruit,” McSweeney’s presents “Journal of a Seasoned COBRA Veteran.” June 28, 1987: We sure seem to have a lot of ninjas…
As a sequel to “Journal of a New COBRA Recruit,” McSweeney’s presents “Journal of a Seasoned COBRA Veteran.”
June 28, 1987: We sure seem to have a lot of ninjas on the COBRA payroll.
Mix Plato’s Republic and Quentin Tarantino’s Reservoir Dogs, and you get … (below the fold for language)…
Mix Plato’s Republic and Quentin Tarantino’s Reservoir Dogs, and you get …
(below the fold for language)
Q: What’s George Bush’s position on Roe vs. Wade?…
Q: What’s George Bush’s position on Roe vs. Wade?
From my folks … I have just finished my new book on golf that I believe gives the reader valuable playing tips and insider information that I have gained through…
From my folks …
I have just finished my new book on golf that I believe gives the reader valuable playing tips and insider information that I have gained
through 50 years of experience. The cost is only $29.95. Cash only please
The following is the chapter listing to give you an overview. Don’t wait until they’re all gone!
Table of Contents:
Chapter 1 – How to Properly Line Up Your Fourth Putt
Chapter 2 – How to Hit a Nike from the Rough When You Hit a Titleist from the Tee
Chapter 3 – How to Avoid the Water When You Lie 8 in a Bunker
Chapter 4 – How to Get More Distance Off the Shank
Chapter 5 – When to Give the Ranger the Finger
Chapter 6 – Using Your Shadow on the Greens to Maximize Earnings
Chapter 7 – When to Implement Handicap Management
Chapter 8 – Proper Excuses for Drinking Beer Before 9 a.m.
Chapter 9 – How to Rationalize a 6 Hour Round
Chapter 10 – How to Find That Ball That Everyone Else Saw Go in the Water
Chapter 11 – Why Your Spouse Doesn’t Care That You Birdied the 5th
Chapter 12 – How to Let a Foursome Play Through Your Twosome
Chapter 13 – How to Relax When You Are Hitting Three Off the Tee
Chapter 14 – When to Suggest Major Swing Corrections to Your Opponent
Chapter 15 – God and the Meaning of the Birdie-to-Bogey Three Putt
Chapter 16 – When to Regrip Your Ball Retriever
Chapter 17 – Can You Purchase a Better Golf Game?
Chapter 18 – Why Male Golfers Will Pay $5.00 a Beer From The Cart Girl and Give Her a $3 Tip, But Will Balk at $3.50 at the 19th Hole and Stiff the Bartender
I think I could use several of those …
A list of Klingon fairy tales: “Goldilocks Dies With Honor at the Hands of the Three Bears” “Snow White and the Six Dwarves She Killed With Her Bare Hands and…
A list of Klingon fairy tales:
“Goldilocks Dies With Honor at the Hands of the Three Bears”
“Snow White and the Six Dwarves She Killed With Her Bare Hands and the Seventh Dwarf She Let Get Away as a Warning to Others”
“There Was an Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe With a Big Spike on It”
Interesting site of engineering humor, jokes, trivia, puzzles. I liked this one (as quoted by J-Walk): So, how many AA batteries would it take to power a standard adult human…
Interesting site of engineering humor, jokes, trivia, puzzles. I liked this one (as quoted by J-Walk):
So, how many AA batteries would it take to power a standard adult human for one day?
A Manganese/Alkaline AA cell it rated at about 2.4 amp-hours. If we assume 1.5 volts average this gives approximately 3.6 watt-hours (slightly optimistic). Since there are 3,600 seconds in an hour this is equivalent to 12,960 Joules.
A human consumes about 2,000 calories/day. A dietician calorie is equal to 1,000 engineering calories. A calorie is equal to 4.2 Joules. Therefore this is equivalent to 2,000 * 1,000 * 4.2 = 8.4 * 106 Joules per day.
Dividing one by the other you will need about 648 AA cells to power a human for one day.
This assumes that the power from the AA cell will go through the same inefficiencies as the chemical processes in a human. (A human runs at about 20% efficiency chemical energy to mechanical energy). If we can circumvent this inefficiency we would only need 20% of this number of cells – say 130 cells.
Good thing to remember next time you swing past Costco.
A college class was told to write a short story in as few words as possible. The instructions were that the story must contain the following three subject areas: Religion…
A college class was told to write a short story in as few words as possible. The instructions were that the story must contain the following three subject areas:
There was only one A+ paper in the entire class.
My mom has long been a source for some of the better jokes I know. She used to bring home ribald little ditties from the bank when she worked there;…
My mom has long been a source for some of the better jokes I know. She used to bring home ribald little ditties from the bank when she worked there; now she just forwards them along on the Internet. Today’s specimen:
Why do men go weak in the knees, get a racing pulse and dry throats, and start to think irrationally when a woman wears leather clothing?
