Which of these is a folk instrument, and which is a B-movie monster fought by Gamera? Balafon Barugon Siku Viras Zither Zigra Djembe Jiger Gaos Cabasa Find out!…
Titles of Sermons to Which Congregants Might Actually Pay Attention…
How To Simulate the Life of a Sailor Funny, Dad’s never waxed nostalgic for life on the Toledo … (via Randy) UPDATE: “Here you go, Dad — a post with…
How To Simulate the Life of a Sailor
Funny, Dad’s never waxed nostalgic for life on the Toledo …
(via Randy)
UPDATE: “Here you go, Dad — a post with a link that doesn’t work.” My bad. Fixed.
This abstract to “Refining a* Search Using Ubiquitous Archetypes” says it all: Unified knowledge-base theory have led to many significant advances, including scatter/gather I/O and online algorithms. Given the current…
This abstract to “Refining a* Search Using Ubiquitous Archetypes” says it all:
Unified knowledge-base theory have led to many significant advances, including scatter/gather I/O and online algorithms. Given the current status of heterogeneous epistemologies, steganographers predictably desire the deployment of multicast frameworks, which embodies the structured principles of cyberinformatics. In this position paper we concentrate our efforts on disconfirming that the much-tauted extensible algorithm for the synthesis of robots is Turing complete.
Intriguing. The authors have really hit on something, here.
(via J-Walk)
Here. (Applicable to any gaming forum beyond just CoH, of course.)…
Here.
(Applicable to any gaming forum beyond just CoH, of course.)
The Top 11 Geek Adages, including: You can’t teach an old dog new tricks, unless you update its drivers, firmware, and reboot it at least 3 times. Heh. (via GeekPress)…
The Top 11 Geek Adages, including:
You can’t teach an old dog new tricks, unless you update its drivers, firmware, and reboot it at least 3 times.
Heh.
(via GeekPress)
Someone at the office passed this “squawk list” (also called “gripe list”) around via e-mail (again), and it still provokes a chuckle. Here are some actual maintenance complaints/problems, generally known…
Someone at the office passed this “squawk list” (also called “gripe list”) around via e-mail (again), and it still provokes a chuckle.
Here are some actual maintenance complaints/problems, generally known as squawks, recently submitted by QANTAS Pilots to maintenance engineers. After attending to the squawks, maintenance crews are required to log the details of the action taken to solve the pilots’ squawks.
Problem – Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
Solution – Almost replaced left inside main tyre.
Problem – Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
Solution – Autoland not installed on this aircraft.
Problem – No. 2 propeller seeping prop fluid.
Solution – No. 2 propeller seepage normal. Nos. 1, 3 and 4 propellers lack normal seepage.
Problem – Something loose in cockpit.
Solution – Something tightened in cockpit.
Problem – Dead bugs on windshield.
Solution – Live bugs on backorder.
Etc.
Ironically, Snopes has the best collection of the items (as well as attempt to determine the origin — it seems split about 50/50 from versions I’ve been sent between some Air Force or else, as above, QANTAS).
Fun stuff.
Rejected York Peppermint Patty Commercials. When I bite into a York Peppermint Pattie, I feel the sensation of the Lord’s righteous anger as he reveals his plan to use me…
Rejected York Peppermint Patty Commercials.
When I bite into a York Peppermint Pattie, I feel the sensation of the Lord’s righteous anger as he reveals his plan to use me as his holy instrument of judgment! It’s all right there between the lines of the ingredients list!
Heh.
Fifty blogs you probably don’t want to read. Here are a few: # BecauseGeocitiesIsTooComplicatedForMe.blogger.com # WhatHappenedAtWorkAndWhatIAteAndWhatIWatchedOnTVToday.net # HalfAssedCryForHelp.com # BourgeoisBohemianHipster.com # TheSameKookyKrazyStuffEveryoneElseIsLinkingTo.com # UglyNewYorkMediaInsiderCircleJerk.com # DepressedEmotionalExhibitionist.ws # UpdatesFromYourFavoriteCelebritysWebmaster.com # VelvetClad.ChunkyGothGirls.com…
Fifty blogs you probably don’t want to read. Here are a few:
# BecauseGeocitiesIsTooComplicatedForMe.blogger.com
# WhatHappenedAtWorkAndWhatIAteAndWhatIWatchedOnTVToday.net
# HalfAssedCryForHelp.com
# BourgeoisBohemianHipster.com
# TheSameKookyKrazyStuffEveryoneElseIsLinkingTo.com
# UglyNewYorkMediaInsiderCircleJerk.com
# DepressedEmotionalExhibitionist.ws
# UpdatesFromYourFavoriteCelebritysWebmaster.com
# VelvetClad.ChunkyGothGirls.com
# PompousRuminationsOnMinutia.org
# PageAfterPageOfBitchingAboutMyMother.com
# ThePissyPontificatingProfessor.com
I don’t think they’re real, though by the same token I’m pretty sure I’ve visited all of them at one time or another …
(via BoingBoing)
From this weeks Top5 Little Fivers Comics edition: The Top 9 Ways to Tell If a Superhero/Supervillain Is a College Student 9. He won’t perform rescues during Final Four weekend….
From this weeks Top5 Little Fivers Comics edition:
9. He won’t perform rescues during Final Four weekend.
8. He can’t get into his secret HQ because his roommate is in there with a hot date.
7. All evidence points to his archenemy running a tequila bar in Cancun. Said evidence is discovered the weekend before Spring Break starts, just like last year.
6. She spends all week writing lame Top5 College entries, then has to pull a desperate all-nighter to build her superweapon.
5. Instead of feeding you to his mutant sharks, he’s making you write term papers.
4. He pulls an all-nighter cramming for his crossover battle.
3. “Avengers Assemble? Dude, it’s only 10 AM! I only have afternoon Assemblies this semester!”
2. He can’t team up with you because he still has a sidekick back home.
and the Number 1 Way to Tell If a Superhero/Supervillain is a College Student…
1. He picks fights with lame villains, aiming at the easy credits.
Copyright 2005 by Chris White. Selected from 47 submissions from 22 contributors: Marcelo Rinesi (1, 6), Bernard Donohue (2, 5), Dave Hill (3), Mark David (4), Douglas Ward (7), Marc Berard (8), Chuck Burke (9), Dave Goudsward, Moderator.
Other submissions of mine that didn’t make the cut:
A. “Only a paternalistic tool of the our corrupt capitalistic society like you, Captain Testosterone, would not recognize that my spandex bikini is actually a symbol of my liberation from outmoded patriarchal restrictions on womyn’s body freedom!”
B. “Dude, I can’t do anything with this. I only took Antimatter Planet-Cruncher Bomb Defusing for Jocks.”
C. “Tremble before the mind-bending punch of Captain Everclear!”
Thank you, thank you. I’ll be here all week …
Why Mac users should Switch to the PC….
Why Mac users should Switch to the PC.
From the Top5 Little Fivers Comics list … CBR is reporting that after 10 years, Red Sonja is being resurrected as a comic book. The She Devil with a Sword…
From the Top5 Little Fivers Comics list …
CBR is reporting that after 10 years, Red Sonja is being resurrected as a comic book. The She Devil with a Sword will be back starting in April, courtesy of Dynamite Entertainment Comics.
So, what did our favorite female barbarian warrior whose name doesn’t start with an X do when she was out of comic books for a decade? Funny you should ask…
The Top 9 Red Sonja Activities While Unemployed
9. Shacking up with Flavor Flav.
8. Nightly sword fight shows at the Ren Faire. The pay’s not so good, but it passes the time.
7. Please note the head of the previous PTA president on a pike outside the door of the current PTA president.
6. “Man, did you see that school crossing guard put her little stop sign through that engine block?!?”
5. A wildly popular endorsement deal in Japan for “Hyborian Lady Razors.”
4. Ten years later and twenty thousand battles — still the Brigitte Nielsen film has not been purged from the earth!
3. “Buyeth thou these Girl Scout cookies sold by my daughter, or face the naked steel of a warrior woman born!”
2. Her promising WNBA career was cut short after a “blood debt” incident.
and the Number 1 Red Sonja Activity While Unemployed…
1. “None shall take my refrigerator box there in yon alley lest first they can defeat me in a battle to the death!”
Copyright 2005 by Chris White. Selected from 39 submissions from 19 contributors. Today’s Top 5 List authors are: Dave Hill (1, 3), Craig Israel (2, 5, 9), Douglas Ward (4), Chuck Burke (4), Guy Payne (6), Brian Pierce (7), Scott Elmer (8), Marc Berard (9), Dave Goudsward (Moderator).
(Not my best entries of all time, and I think the #1 has been a little edited post-submission, but there you go.)
From the Top5 Comics list … The Top 9 Dating Tips for Superheroes 9. “For the hundredth time, I am not going to your undersea grotto to check out your…
From the Top5 Comics list …
9. “For the hundredth time, I am not going to your undersea grotto to check out your shell collection!”
8. The “Evil Twin from an Alternate Dimension” excuse only works once in a relationship.
7. Female superheroes demand to be treated with respect and equanimity, so try to ignore all the cleavage and skintight leather.
6. A heroic fight and rescue can be exciting and jump-start the relationship, but not if the fight is in the sewers.
5. What happens in the alternate dimension apocalyptic futuristic time-line reality stays in the alternate dimension apocalyptic futuristic time-line reality.
4. Sure, kissing upside down in the rain looks great in the movie, but wet spandex chafes something fierce!
3. Dating your dead wife’s clone is never a good idea, even if it resolves a major continuity issue.
2. Remember that when choosing a Kryptonite condom, color does matter for more than just the novelty value.
1. Don’t try to impress her by giving up your super-powers in your Arctic fortress, unless you’re sure you have a ride back.
Copyright 2005 by Chris White. via Louise Freeman Davis (1), Alvaro Ibanez (2), Douglas Ward (3, 4), Brian Pierce (5), Marc Berard (6), Marcelo Rinesi (7), Matt Hurlburt (8), Chuck Burke (9), Dave Goudsward (Moderator)
Aliens, as directed by Ingmar Bergman. Cut to: Military ship. Camera pans over the cryogenic chambers that hold Ripley and the Marines. Various voiceovers: Ripley: Space is cold and vast….
Aliens, as directed by Ingmar Bergman.
Cut to: Military ship. Camera pans over the cryogenic chambers that hold Ripley and the Marines. Various voiceovers:
Ripley: Space is cold and vast. No one can hear you scream. But can infinite space offer protection from our own self-awareness, our own mortality?
Apone: I lead warriors into battle. Still, every battle I wonder: will this be the day I am called into account for my sins, for my cigars?
Heh.
(Like most such lists, about 80% accurate and about 70% funny, but …) You switch from “Heat” to “A/C” in one day. You know what the “Peoples Republic of Boulder”…
(Like most such lists, about 80% accurate and about 70% funny, but …)
And most important:
(via a co-worker)
Philosophical Break-up Lines. (via GeekPress)…
Fun stuff. Because, remember — if you’re not laughing about it, you’re probably crying about it, and that just gets your glasses all wet ……
Because, remember — if you’re not laughing about it, you’re probably crying about it, and that just gets your glasses all wet …
Amusing jokes, via the Defective Yeti. (And some of the ones in the comments are pretty funny, too.)…
Amusing jokes, via the Defective Yeti.
(And some of the ones in the comments are pretty funny, too.)
This week’s Top5.com Little Fivers — Comics Edition: Back in 1964, Stan Lee and Bill Everett created the Man Without Fear, Matt Murdock, a successful lawyer who also waged battle…
This week’s Top5.com Little Fivers — Comics Edition:
Back in 1964, Stan Lee and Bill Everett created the Man Without Fear, Matt Murdock, a successful lawyer who also waged battle against crime as the blind superhero Daredevil. For the math impaired, that means ol’ hornhead’s been tossing that baton for 40 years. Yikes! So …
The Top 9 Signs Matt Murdock’s Getting a Little Tired of Being Daredevil
9. He was last seen swimming in the Hudson River in an Aquaman outfit.
8. He tells the city that whenever they need him, shine a light in the sky and he’ll come to help as soon as he sees it.
7. “I’m the one with the radar sense — why the hell is that guy called Batman?”
6. He’s sick and tired of the Avengers teaming him up with Vision, just to get an ironic snicker.
5. When encountering a crime, he keeps muttering “Didn’t see it, didn’t happen.”
4. “Foggy, I’ll tell you what — this time I’ll do all the grunt research on the McMurphy case, you go square off with Bullseye in Times Square.”
3. In the morning, he becomes Elektra.
2. Not only did he not object to the casting of Ben Affleck, he actually tracked him down and gave him the costume.
… and the Number 1 Sign Matt Murdock’s Getting a Little Tired of Being Daredevil …
1. He goes from being “The Man Without Fear” to “The Man Who Doesn’t Give a Rat’s Ass.”
via Erik Deckers, Syracuse, IN (#1); Jack Scheer, Falls Church, VA (#2); Eric Wakeford, Niagara Falls, ON (#2, 7, 8); Dave Hill, Centennial, CO (#3, 4); Marc Berard, Central Falls, RI (#5); Arthur Levesque, Laurel, MD (#6); Matt Hurlburt, Stow, OH (#9); Dave Goudsward, Lake Worth, FL (List Moderator).
From the Top5 Little Fivers Comics list: The Top 9 Differences If Martha Stewart Were a Comic Book Super Hero/Villain 9. Pym Particles would come in 12 designer colors. 8….
From the Top5 Little Fivers Comics list:
The Top 9 Differences If Martha Stewart Were a Comic Book Super Hero/Villain
9. Pym Particles would come in 12 designer colors.
8. “With great power comes great responsibility, made out of leftover oven mitts and decorated with bit of lace recycled from a wedding dress.”
7. Laser eye-beam-carved ice sculptures.
6. She’d be the only JLA hero capable of freaking out Batman.
5. “Decorative ceramic tiles on your doomsday device will brighten up your entire evil lair.”
4. “Bring your organic steel skin to a healthy glimmer with ordinary household ingredients.”
3. “Skulls of vanquished foes can be used as decorative centerpieces during Thanksgiving.”
2. Martha: Not just cleaning up crime, but decorating it with festive garlands!
and the Number 1 Difference If Martha Stewart Were a Comic Book Super Hero/Villain…
1. Giant orbiting death ray replaced with a *really* big hot glue gun.
(via Marc Berard, Central Falls, RI (1, 2); Erik Deckers, Syracuse, IN (3, 4, 7); Jeremy Bleichman, Fair Lawn, NJ (5); Marcelo Rinesi, Buenos Aires, Argentina (6); Dave Hill, Centennial, CO (8); Craig Israel, Cleveland, OH (9); Andrew Jones, Brisbane, Australia (Topic)
And from the runners up …
More ecru, less solitude in the Arctic fortress. (Marcelo Rinesi, Buenos Aires, Argentina)
“Green” Lantern? I think not. Try “Spring Moss with undertones of Burnt Sienna” Lantern! (Guy Payne, Birmingham, AL)
“The joes of Easy Company were getting anxious for action, so I set them to the task of crocheting new ammo belts for Bulldozer’s spring ensemble.” (Ibid.)
“When I have defeated the Fantastic Four and made doilies out of their worthless hides, then all Latveria will cry, ‘It is a good thing!’ Doom has spoken!” (Ibid.)
Which of these is a folk instrument, and which is a B-movie monster fought by